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They were men back by a popular demand. Popular is my manners name, I'm kidding she's dead when it was her stripper name I get a great show rain tonight. So let's get right into headlines

This kick things up with the reason most of the people in this audience could not sleep. Well. Last night, a new poll shows Joe Biden getting trounced by donald trump. In almost every single swing state, the panic it's still too early to say Biden will definitely lose. He could absolutely die in his sleep instead, I'm just saying this is really scary for liberals and I mean actually scary not like they took hamilton off disney plus scary. You know what I'm going to be honest. I, like a scary poll, number, puts a little, fire and your took ass. This is a wake up call to Joe Biden,

I mean no really, and what makes these Paul numbers particularly shocking is that the man bite it is losing too, is currently on trial in every jurisdiction in america. In fact, today, in new york, former president Donald trump actually took the stand to defend against accusations is company committed fraud, and things went just about as well as you would expect within minutes from two used in a battle with the judge with we unfolded, judge arthur and goran accuse drop of making long winded speeches not answered questions and even threaten to excuse the former, for the judge told the fronts attorneys quote. I beseech you to control him. If you can, if you can't, I will support me. Caitlin is fair to say this is really about a matter. Here's one example when asked by prosecutors whether he was involved in the preparation of key financial documents in twenty twenty one,

This answer. No, I was dealing with china, russia and keeping our country save the new york turning generals leave lawyer then reminded him. It was not president in when you twenty one honestly I get. Why he's confused? I also get confused because it feels like he was president for it. I tears. I cannot even remember who was president before tromp like was it a four b haze or something I mean of course, trump is focused. He's got like seventeen. Their court cases. These dealing with, he probably doesn't even know what he was in court for I was stand like this dance correction: wonder the mushroom dig porn star which, by the way, if I and donald trump under oath, I wouldn't be wasting time asking about financial statements. This is my chance to find the answers to every question. at about him ever? Is there a maloney, a clone? Is there tape. Review

to do a sophie's choice with one of your adult sons wouldn't be. let's move on because, as you know, ever since war broke out in the middle east, hate crimes have been on the rise here in amerika. Luckily, some of people committing these hate crimes are not the brightest candles and the menorah a woman his charges after confessing to a crash targeting the indianapolis jewish jewish community. I impeding arrested Ruby gotha late Friday night police Is she drove into a building and told officer she thought it was an israel. school and that she did it on purpose. In fact, the building below The black hebrew israelites, which is designated by the anti defamation league as an anti semitic hate group that believes jews, our satanic.

Then men to crash into a building full of jews but ended a crashing into a building full of people who hates use like what a meat cute coming soon. The end, My enemy is mine. Over real, though hate crimes are bad enough. But what makes this even worse is that she's perpetuating the stereotyped that women are bad drivers. This woman's troubles are just beginning waiting till she meets or public defender, Joel rabbinic. What is he doing? Looking and final, Let's move onto washington d c, where the new speaker of the house just keeps getting weirder in weirder, he grew the house. My johnson admitted he and his gun used software to monitor. If the other was watching porn marginally, probably worked riddles, jerk warsaw,

and so he seventeen, so he and I get a report of all the things that are on our phone oliver devices once a week. If anything, objectionable comes up here, ability burnt. It gives an immediate noticed. The Louisiana Republican installed accountability. Software called covenant eyes, so in a seventeen year. Old son jack would abstained from going to x, rated internet sites. The website promotes itself as a way to help those with porn addictions. superhero has three superpower drink my weakness porn. Where these

marvel movies are really running out of ideas, so why is he a superhero whose weaknesses porn like what is that origin story? Did his parents die masturbating to horny mills? Was he hit with a radioactive money shot and if MIKE Johnson doesn't want to encourage his son to masturbate, Did he name him? Jack menu should mean, as other kids tug and his daughter anger blast. I am sorry there is no way this app is going to stop people from masturbating, especially seventeen year old boys. Seventeen year olds don't need porn, they can jerk off to anything, is his dad must be like

It really doesn't look at porn at all. He just spends all his days. Browsing ann taylor loft the series they don't use an app to find out if your son is masturbating just do it. The old fashioned way see if his sock shop, there's like an icicle for more in this story. We go live to the capital and our political corresponded michael cost of now and for the spirit of full transparency. I choose whose Michael is my covenant eyes, accountability, buddy, which means? If I look at online porn, you'll get a notification. And who better sarah to trust with your most. I haven't struggles than a random coworker. You only talk to on television Although it is clear that we could be friends, so my uncle lex

the story. Doesn't this revelation ruin my johnson's reputation as a serious speaker of the house nodded all sarah, in fact, johnson? Is the kind of guy you want holding the speakers gavel for one? he's got to free hands? We know that, and secondly, do you know how much you can accomplish when you're not wasting all your time massaging the pigs now plus this gives him that pent up mere bursting energy. That says I'm a soft breeze away from exploding all over this carpet with which is helpful in negotiating room, especially if that room has carpet. But the only downside here is that Johnson might not sorry hold on. I got notification from covenant eyes. Sarah, in the middle of my report, you're searching for that kind of thing. No, no! This is funny it's for thanksgiving.

I was actually looking up a recipe for cream pie. I'm sorry inappropriate. I should not be on my phone. You were talking about the Democrats No, I wasn't other that's a good point. Gives Joe Biden and opportunity to contrast himself from my johnson. He can be the partition whose into poor he already. Canada has the look. Do you know he's he's got the slick back hair. He he drives a corvette he's he's. Always wintering, like you just saw something he likes, but he doesn't know why they are buying can pull that off before sorry buzzing buzzing again. Sarah. Why No, it's not porn and sat porn. the process of moving, and I need two guys to common pack my box, horizontal mode,

and less happy about the security issue. Here this website is monitoring everything. My johnson looks that that can include sensitive class. right information yeah, but but that's the price we pay for moral rectitude. Sure russia could hack into covenant eyes and get access to our nuclear codes, but I sleep easier at night, knowing my johnson seeing what's happening to our nation step mom's. Now, of course he could take security measures like oh god, hold on Sarah seriously. Oh sorry, I was genuinely curious if I could play this game without coming in five seconds. The you yes

everybody where people I did about what I will do for them. I be we're excited about what I will do for business your business. Producing watson, eggs, a platform designed to multiply outlet my training with your data when you what's next your business, you can build ai to help coders code faster, customer service, respond quicker and employees handle repetitive tasks in less time. Let's create ai that transforms business with watson. Next, learn more at I bm dot com, slash watson x, I b m. Let's create

You can do a lot just by sitting down. You can take a break for an apple or crack open a novel that then becomes an end. You can enjoy a park bench or really not enjoy park bench is that gum? You can do a lot, things by sitting down like start your next year We all like to focus like an idea for within two. It is set to start with the little things to be doubled before the breakaway talking about the new speaker of the house, my johnson, and how he uses some weird apt to share porn alerts with his son, which nobody, no about, because before this guy became speaker, nobody knew anything about him. So, if you're wondering, if

Anything else you need to know about MIKE Johnson he's the subject of the newest daily show up in the soil of twenty twenty, three republicans in the united states house of representatives were battling to choose leader, he would need to be crazy enough to win over the far right but boring enough that he wouldn't spook the slightly less far right, and so the party settled, unlike John said, no wait. Sorry, that's him! but who is night Johnson? No, really who that is

many people are asking who is MIKE Johnson, who is might johnson exactly senator shootin collins, said quote. I was going to google him this morning after Susan Cohen, some millions upon millions of images of death. She found a curious: what is my job to think about it? The issue under the sun, I said well go pick up a bible off your shelf and read it. That's that's my boy. That's what I believe: Jesus Christ, the geo p, had found a man, so bland hill put you to sleep, but soon seen he might murder you- and this is the daily show atrophy of might Johnson crazy, boring

long before american new MIKE Johnson as an allied man with a face in her and body parts, he was to heart, beats away from the presidency. He was just a boy who had a smaller face and hair and body parts growing up in the museum, nineteen. Eighty four when Johnson was twelve. His firemen father narrowly survived and explosion later we called all night I aspire to be with a fireman. parents, let us be firemen after it changing moment, a person Just forget other people living their lives. The way they wanted that

I wanted to do when he grew up soon might became the first member of his family to attend college. Despite his bible based upbringing, he chosen a tory party school ls. You definitely not in this. What it after graduating, Alice you law school. This generic man married his generic life partner, but don't worry there Europe also had a crazy side. making kelly were wed under an unusual arrangement known as covenant marriage, which essentially makes it illegal to get divorced. Working on his legal career. Might Johnson was hired by the toughest client of all

God has an advocate for evangelical organizations. Johnson thought to close abortion clinics, denounced birth control as the taking of human life and declared gay marriage and the strongest. If same sex marriages allowed johnson wrote, there would be nothing to stop. People from marrying their pets. Yes The blandest warrior fought to make sure a visit to the pound didn't end with a trip to pound town. It was around this time that Jonathan hops on board noah's ark, specifically a full stack Replica built by a creation is museum to teach kids, that the earth is six thousand years old and that people and dinosaurs lived together johnson rubber. the art encounter and a successful fight for the right to public funding and became something of a spokesman for gods. Jungle proves the ark and counter is one way.

Bring people to this recognition of the truth that you know what we in the bible or actual historical events in twenty. Sixteen johnson would take part in an actual historical event of his own, getting elected to congress. As a new congressmen Johnson signed a pledge to plain nicely with the other representatives. Even the god does perverts I am committed to mutually respect one another to to disagree and an agreeable manner. It was another beautiful covenant near old and Johnson s been true to his word. Maintaining a perfectly inoffensive civil demeanor acy champion donald trump Muslim, their shrugged off climate change as natural and pushed for a nationwide, don't say a gay law. One of johnson's, most notable bills would be an almost all abortions. After six weeks I'm just to save the unborn babies, also to save social security.

We'll be weighed good constitutional cover to the elective killing of unborn children in america. If we had an all those able bodied workers in your kind of me, we wouldn't be going upside down and toppling over like this. Finally, somebody's thinking of the able bodied workers women should be coming out of the room. Then came the twenty twenty election as the holder of an actual. Logically, albeit from l S, you Johnson, was uniquely qualified to crack the arguments that donald trump news in his efforts to get the results overturned in court, which is how Johnson finally became interesting enough to mega, like John sandbag, my job to make up my job, I kind of like that. Yes, my johnson, finally had it all a reputation as a lunatic among the people knew him, but no reputation at all. Among anyone else, shit.

did it again in how crazy boring might Johnson achieved his hard one victory to become the least experienced how speaker in one hundred and forty years, you know back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. I have the power to automate, but if it's using entrusted data, can you trust the results? Your business doesn't just need a it needs the right, a I for your business

sure do sing watson, eggs, a platform designed to multiply output by tailoring eighty yearnings. When you watson Ex your business, you can train tune and deploy all with your trusted data. Let's create the right I for your business with. What's next learn more ibm, dot com, slash watson, next ibm, let's create you can do the largest by sitting down you, can take a break for an apple or crack open a novel that then becomes an end you can enjoy park bench or really not enjoy a park bench is that gum? You can do a lot things by sitting down. Like start, your next journey We all like to box like an idea for within two. It is set to start with the little things to be doubled.

The non from her. Nor you know him from the ban. Good charlotte he's also the host of paramount plus reality. Competition series ink mastered. Please welcome your mad in right. Inevitably, sister laura has many tattoos and she convince my dad many years ago to get a tattoo and is ass of may stepmother's name january, and I love it asked her to hear.

I loved showing it to people, and I had to keep the front of your pants off the that I have a quick montage of my dad being extremely stoic. The best part of alaska, too this screaming getting it. and then showing it. I mean I'm gonna when people get better jason places almost suddenly, someone gets one. I like it. Graham stamp, and then they have to wear half search for the rest of the delighted beyond rule. So irish, yes, there

the their human canvasses that the contestants sorry are using feelings tat. It does so we call them deal. I mean, as you assess it in Criticising and like do you feel bad talking shed about something that is gonna, be on someone's body for ever? Ok, so All everyone who has ever gotten more than one tattoo has gotten a bad tattoo for sure, so part of EU, feels like it's a right of passes for them to get their battle. to buy it part of the competition no one's getting a terrible tattoo awning master, all the tattoo artists, our great, but we are I find it to its exploiting here sometimes what we do at the fine what's wrong with the tattoos take to get people off the competition, so we have to weigh up the critic, could take em, they done

There are obviously not stating that the person with the tattoos not standing there were in their screen shot was like. This is a piece of shit. You were in the first part and the worst part I was talking to you before a name. Don't have a, but I would like to get one run its leg meaning or represent something I learn what it was like. I don't love anything like I like tv, and I like, why a single rose. That isn't. Roses are great can. I have a great idea. So

You get everyone in the audience to write their name down the hall put in them and all the names in a hat and draw a name from the hat and then get it tattooed on your neck. It will make their life forever first of all that the press alone that will come off of that and then now you have a connection with this person that union in this way city in new york, someone in the walking around saying you know, sir, as my name I do not know when your full name, for the following. What tat, have you seen that were either tat

ball, amazing I'll, tell you one tat too only heard tell of it, but it's the greatest had to have ever heard of, and I feel like it's time less brutal. It's me. After spock, you know from star trek love him and he is thinking of me more when or namely, as MR spock anything king and then there's thought bubbles and then what he's thinking of is himself with a mustard I would never think of that. I feel it there's time. Let us recall those ironic tattoos, oh yeah, that's like mustache here like fun touch. You don't know me. Fine neighing yeah, I'm about to what is it

It's a drag it on my leg that looks like a sea horse feeding wanted something like a single hour is now. I got it in the basement when I was seventeen or eighteen and there was the guy's first or second time, tattooing loud, but you made his day like I'm gonna, make one of their madness and I ruined his leg was dragging seahorse. Yeah hey. Listen you just play and with good charlotte for the first time in five years, how was it was fantastic. had a great time. Women play. Five years, except we. It play my little sister and laws wedding, which was really our first show in five years by willy did for songs. There are songs, but we played it when we were young in vegas,

as came out with came out plate did did a couple. Songs with us is awesome, seeing some tight harms with you at your hit song twenty two years ago, lifestyles of the rich and famous as like the robin led show you I mean it in order to do that, like if you, if you two thousand and two. Are you now in two thousand twenty three do You would be an element in that song? Yes, I would say Well, they saw, was less of a critique and or a maybe a manifestation, I don't I walk around and think of myself is rich and famous right by

You know there are some irony there, Let's talk about beeps, which emory interested in you could and it vapes, which is a streaming service where people can see live concerts? let me say, vice president thebes dont: do better jobs. Actually this is this. Is we ve been working on this for seven years? It's a streaming platform for life I've concerts and we just launched comedy so, oh, where we feel like there's a place for many. When you can't get the big special, you know flax or wherever we feel it goes a big hole for four comedians to develop their specials and you know make their way up to the top. The comedy game that so exciting. I noticed that many people that would be a man

yeah why to send another yeah? It's definitely it's a great platform to four for the future of I've music is absolutely people watch sports. They expect to be able to watch whenever game. They want people, I see from every tour that goes out ticket sell out. We all know how that goes more and more. There needs to be a place for concerts infer for bands to build their live audiences, and so streaming is important to us and being a musician. We started it for the musicians, hot shit, the screaming now exclusively on paramount, plus we're going to take a quick break. The people are excited about what ai will do

for them at I bm we're excited about what ai will do for business, your business introducing watson eggs a platform designed to multiply outlet my training with your data when you watson it's your business. You can build ai to help coders code faster customer service, respond quicker and employees handle repetitive tasks in less time. Let's create ai that transforms business with watson. Next learn more at I b m dot com, slash watson x, I b m, let's create you can do a lot just by sitting down, you can take a break for an apple or crack open a novel that then becomes an end. you can enjoy park bench or really not enjoy a park bench. Is that gum? You can do a lot. things by sitting down. Like start your next jury, we all electric volkswagen, like an idea for with intuitive set to start with the little things the video

leading to the square in burma, research foundation. They are the nations leading nonprofit investor in scleroderma, research aimed at seeking out improved therapies and, hopefully a cure. It became Please tell me that the link below its more shows from the earliest years universe, by searching the daily show wherever you get your blog watch, the daily show we noted eleven dense and rules governing central and stream full episodes any time on their work, This has been a comedy central, podcast, the prolonged five days

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