One great late night conversation w/ me Ralphie May & Joey Diaz!
This is an unofficial transcript meant for reference. Accuracy is not guaranteed.
The
I'm on tour toronto, buffalo nasa.
in Atlanta phoenix. This week's episode, Joey coco Diaz ralphie, may go to berber dot com get a shirt. I love you with all my heart
I had a feeling my boy, two minutes
then there's three snacks today and those like apples and vegetables and optimum butter is often speeds up your material
twenty one days and I lost thirty two points on which a just eat them is to sit. There
work up curriculum,
it's? So we still have an all planned out for you. What to do about that.
No, I don't know about this one, but it but the the
butter. I did the oven butter pretty aggressively
I put all member on everything that was my shit. I was a fucking love it.
I was put in honour on rice, cakes, rice, kagan, all about her
put a little bit of stevie earn it like
I sweetened it out and it tastes like fucking pie. It is awesome you can put in put a little honey on it.
And by the tastes like regular, but it is
notice. I wrote regular peanut butter with
it is. I give you a little bit of stevie figures like
all natural or a garbage
all natural stevia
What he's got a realistic, the honey? It looks like
but it's a lower
it's like. I think it's lower in calories. I tell you what made a different type of sugar is what it is. I did that cleanse the cleanse I did on the clean bro.
mass rather stole my weight and what happened was is what no
Gotta do like it's! It's some!
Jews in the morning, snack
all the butter and and with work, and then lunch
is, I lean protein and green snack and then juice and an eye
twelve hours reduces but man I fucking what I lose out.
forty pounds in seventeen days and it it just came off ebay, user. Here's a reason
that wasn't reagan? Yeah one dragon
wasn't, do a coffee and I was working on
those like I was taken in twelve hundred galleries. I was born of four thousand.
hours at yale cloth eating. What's coffee? Do I don't know? I think it was it's more like it's a term that cause he's got a lot of benefits to it the window dieting. It stimulates your appetite.
But if you don't put sugar like I drink, I drink a black too, just like my music yeah yeah, where I live, just like my penis
However, what is a my some people, always I'll need cup of coffee than one
yeah. I like it. I like cup, of coffee too. I just do one where I do a lot of time. I drink enough coffee shop,
it's shaking, oh wow! Well, let's get it to where I'm shaking and then I get on the treadmill and I fuckin pound it out man. You know what I've been doing
I'm doing the wrong machine. Suddenly,
and wants to buy a rowing machine where they are so big, so big that, where you put em, they followed up really yet they up. I got there
I just don't sell joy about that's been bike. The other day I s fucking batman, a love that
I love you set out here and do they should come out. I come out nor do an hour's.
In or I'll get on the treadmill and I'll do my big thing of selling to someone and they were like. I was telling this to.
And on my podcast recently chris tie walker is a trainer. I had him run me through
of run. All my trouble for the poor,
I told him. I had loved us about tuna and others. That makes sense, but I come out
a bottle of wine again on the treadmill unless our walk in and watching tv,
and I walked like seven miles it just watch.
For an hour an hour and a half, and
I do not walk in harlem sweating, but men and I
my bottle of wine MIKE. I get done nice buzz
he'll kill some water again. Bed go to sleep nice fuck, a monster sit like that. Like a doctor, like a savage
Where did you come from
la nashville
there, the end of the month. Now I'm gonna be there with you. I really am thirtieth on.
Now. I know,
these days before your comment is war. No
I'm a buffalo that one minor one later
Let me have some bbq for ya se, just doing buffalo thursday Friday saturday, during national on the way back yeah, and then I go straight and then I go
to allow them to see the girls,
The girls were in labour that weak and there are many points line here.
where the crime is much wrote, as I can in the short period of time. So we start
newton again, like unlike september, where you goin
I don't know they threw us some big fuckin places that I was like.
When we went to australia sidney us, I could fuckin live in australia later. I want the ode to joy. That I really regret is you kidnapping had do big
is are so many fucking bad ass places like you'd like australia, fucking, canada,
mexico. The thing about his thoughts about going to follow in cuba.
go. You gotta cuba right, no seriously farc,
did you did you. Try have you ever been out of the country. Where did you go before jamaica? Ah, that's nice man. I fucking love to bake, I didn't know they had Yang
My passport, I always thought they gave my passport overcharged support.
In colorado. The child support
I was living like you have to like fifty thousand fucking that wow yankee basketball really like. I have a friend a yank, this fucking pass by Kevin
airport even know this guy was paying his bills.
even now that she wasn't gonna fuckin checks by their would yacu shit really
to a certain amount, though yankees shit, so I didn't know what it was for, but denied an attorney in two thousand and five. He came back with a fucking laundry list.
and that's why they won't, they won't come. They will get their passport. Now
think, I'm way not as one fuckin warren in seattle.
The family work. That's the only reason that, as a war without a flock of anger management,
Was it was the one where fuckin the tooth
is this was dealt with the one, but that was the one which drew up the check. I pull the fuckin hair out of a fuck him.
the ghost was told the story of the public
I don't want to go into delhi area. I told the story. I liked for incidences with this broad, but I'm still good friends with we still talk. We don't really talk to allow crazy stripping in Tampa what he's four years old, still stripping sucking dick and fucking for two hundred she'll suck your dick
hundred the kind of man. She told me that she had couple thousand jobs
in the hand, jobs for all the podcast. To tell the story, I mean that shit. I have a warrant in envoy. In a twin
as a whole, for misdemeanor sought after a tenth of a two hour or all amnesia, they call me with a story.
I don't know, but then why did you have a tent? Because I was going to take a
It came on solid, back yeah boomerang
rags doesn't apply this ted. It doesn't fit
well. I used to do in florida. He shoplifted without walking out of the store
there's a way to shoplift without walking around the store you go into the store. You pick up a joint, you, bring it to customer service and go where Christ gave me this for my fucking birthday, when I got three of them yeah and where's the receipt. What
receives my birthday present management or look on the computer in those days it will look on the computer. They stay. Look this
If you return some of the last fucking ten years, it'll see your name, then it'll give you whatever the fuck you want yeah. Sometimes they give you store credit. Sometimes they give you cash yeah go on these triple runs steal a tent security.
This time: the ready what the fuck I boiling always received. I don't have it
how do you want you money cache of you? I go home
check and check. I take three hundred dollars. Meanwhile, I'd be minus eighty yeah, I don't jump around for a change in the fucking ass man. I I still gas like three times on treble just because they were so fucking shitty mona limited run. What I never did the trouble triple fucking pansy, I heard people talking
out of another again yeah. I never ones taxes as KP, with all the
I be candle. He hastily, I thought, wanted to that'd be kinda. Would book you,
I got a friday in mecca duchess, which is east, is tat.
almost louisiana
and a sad day and odessa
A great he's been today saturday. You are for,
in our drive shots
one hundred and fifty dollars, but he would trick you yeah he'd say I got a wednesday to sunday and thursday pays three. Fifty and sunday
is nine thousand, but friday and saturday paid to fifteen. You go beautiful, yeah I'll, take it and then two weeks before the gigging call,
in the end, I owe the earth thursday Sunday fell out, yeah the only ones that didn't fall out of the ones you're getting a buckler call yeah right yeah I was working from. I had a great relationship I was doing treble
and the laughs yeah yeah yeah. It was an open micah and one day I I book for neither pretty nice. It was like mate. It was like all new mexico and one texas thing for for GW kendall, and I moved to seattle with the tooth, and I still got this week, but when I booked the week I was living wasn't a bad week. Seattle I got attacked eighteen to that before I get
at the new mexico yeah for equality one day, and he goes hey man no wednesday, not thursday, no sunday, just one. Seventy five for friday and two hundred
except satellite- and I said, listen man, I'm living in seattle. Now you know- and I gotta tell
worth appeal. I told the truth. Rafik yeah. I got a three inequality and spend that just in gas in a way that
If you want to work for sea w candle again yeah, but
I don't show up there. I will talk to the improv and tell them not to book you all this shit
When you are too young is doing comedies. He has no poet the uprising nodded it I mean. Is it he's a shit talk you know. The thing is: is that that
she would will an hour time if he would talkin bout himself in.
Par jesse. Would italians fuckin hilariously w kendall yeah, so he bustled?
Presently he really muscle me
I did my calmly and not. I go home with my package of cocaine with three lines left. I got my cocaine balls and I said you know what I ain't going to fucking gate tomorrow. He can suck my dick yeah river fuck out there, but nobody's talking.
may later, so I got up and exploiting on bright and early you'll, see
it'll be I'm in my car packed that added the fucking new mexico,
Thank you, buddy. I waited till six. O clock forever
it? Was four o clock and see our six in taxes, this vetoes
yeah yeah the whole time, you're, not the I'm. Going to you ever fucking threaten me. You piece of shit model,
what you ain't. You got a bonnet mother fucking. That was the end of that does
well how about a year and a half ago I was somewhere in dallas and some
came optimism blog. Would you mind doing
gate tomorrow I foresee w candle.
We can they go it's a six o clock. I get you like four hundred bucks,
it's right around the corner or something so he goes call them right now, so I call them from the tables joey ideas. That name sounds familiar
Call me tomorrow, I'll talk to you.
We see this as a whole, because I remember who you are you
I love you motherfucker, you get a car a bag above have guy candidates, every dog he was used to using taxes, p and Fatima people.
It's a assembly not not pete, the the pete. I know no right, yeah pete from the last time oh shut, the fuck. Are these people alive? Stop his dad was the king of fucking with that guy who rely on him up and go hey. I need you down here, unlike a
its day and as I like, no problem at peak calls me from
average claim going. Do you know where joey is? You know, and I knew where joy was joy was asleep in his apartment, looks like I'm taking a nap I, but but Peter Cosby, and he keeps on calling me and leaving messages, and I can hear the background of Houston as at gate.
I mean you know, they're off your baggage. Okay, I can hear the work welcomed the houston intercontinental airport. You know I can hear all that shit behind it.
For an hour and a half, it was fuck it also at that
like two weeks later. He did the same thing as the last the last two years of Michael K, usage Uvira, because I got these cases of anxiety.
Which I still get very slightly when I can't breathe the area and its very.
It was this really weird feeling I never got it before and I would get in the car and drive to the airport and I couldn't breathe. I pull over and I just want
bree and at one time I actually was going to like it started.
I was going somewhere and I was gone the night before, thank god, yeah and I got to the airport and I got on the plane and I dunno what wasn't going on a plank oak up kagami. I was just something
ass to get off. The point was, after my lab in the rest of the day,
and then arrest me trigly, but
me? They read my rights
I think I'll. Usually, when you get off a plane, we have to arrest you and take it l a county, but it was fucked up really. I spent like a whole fucking day my wife picked up by eleven o'clock at night. I got there in the morning.
me and I would ask your fuckin one o clock in the afternoon. Really year was fucked up we're getting off the plane and then I wouldn't
Dr all, whole what you know this to drive away the assets of the morning.
I get out of your fucking car and oh yeah man. I would do that. I did that three or four times as the pete. I did this slaves,
and I wouldn't even do blow the night before it was just the stack cutting out my and then I realized. I had a problem because I went to Bob hope and they gave me anxiety pills that I these are battles we could give you
when I was feeling even fucking worse and really, maybe I don't blow work, and I would
Dude lie korea, those pills in that what happened sandbag yourself, so I gave want to sergio love one
august vagina get how baby ass mother, whose survival I was his black com. You can become. This still does rat battles, earthlings dick.
white jake's. He always gives a white there, whether my minute, he loves why women he'll give you
That's gonna grab on. Yes, he would leave the coke and his
asia. Is motorcycle, Michael
what was a worsening? Isn't he goes so you leave? You have a motorcycle. A little bag on the side was to take the cup.
Leave. Fifty thousand I love a little I'd. Never leave the fifty where's, my fifty dollars bitch. I left at that. One night I got all choked up on your panel and I go over there,
and I got this garages new year's eve about the stick. My aunt
joey check a white check, that's stalking him I saw this is raising the only answer
me, like I'm, going to steal his cloak and my heart beat as it is more than a jolly let's go
stocking sergio. That's in his garage
speaking research, then how do you know the cook? Was there
I can't get a hold of him. He won't answer the door and I'm like, oh, my god, he's upstairs, but I gave him three of those antidepressant slash yeah. I didn't hear from him and this kid would eat twenty fucking times a night to hear from him for three four nights. Finally, one day was like man.
The fucking pills are up. This is a guy that ate everything that every repot every drug
telling me how fucked up those anxiety pills were. But that's my stop. I started going to acupuncture and I got rid of all the things. I've really acupuncture,
Someone just tell me the dogs annex is this shit.
the annexes, like it's like a dog metabolism who the fuck was this shows by some
if you're, someone who probably had a problem with it and didn't want to share it now random and eighty five, I had a german shepherd in aspen he had grown so fast. He had grown so fast that his front leg, bones growler sockets here that the sockets were too small. It was the weirdest thing, so I took them to agree to fort Collins.
is a big veterinary college up in colorado, and they game me these more fuckin pills that this motherfucker would the draw.
I was mere pages travel. So when I was
I hope that doesn't cause a bang, and you know the bazooka is no zucca. Is you take a look three fingers of water? You put a grandma coconut coffee cup and a tenth of baking soda. You put that mother fucker in the microwave oven.
When that mother fucker says bang you go in as like mama's cookies. Let's rally around you take a slap you pour that coke in it and it's hard coke already yeah. It's not free base and attack, it's not crap, but it would smoke with a joint.
The columbia would take nicotine I'm pulling their cigarettes impact the nicotine back it for you. Take your fucking join a reefer you're fucking spike.
the cop rolling, lighter and melt the coke into the joint bang that motherfucker like a soldier. This was a bag and then
in the eighties, this is like when you fuck up people was loud cocaine and when the people were stunned, there were quantum mistakes,
for space and you had a cook him. I had a fine radio that will come the ass Michael way because he said
It turns a lot of people talking about a microwave that he began, buying a wave that you fucking kidding me. That's the thing. I've said all your stories: I've been in north America. I see them walking on Kennedy, blvd with a microwave for them. I was up to the microwave another one, no problem
That was our stay out of my way. I got that though, that may was crazy. So one then, when we
You know when you grow, we that type
After a while, it gets be like yeah yeah, we yeah, so I ran out of weed and I ran out of rolling papers and I had this bomb that was like fibreglass bomb yeah and I started
the fucking swamis, whatever that the bazookas
I had no weak. As I take the pop plan apart, it wasn't a hut hidden upside down. We got people like hang it upside down
If a week is out to dry it out and multiply down for two minutes, I cut the things and stuff in the pipe put the freebase in the pipe to Brazil
well. I just started smoking that bazooka fucking now I'll. Never forget that's why I woke up that pipe had gone down like listen fucking, the devil could smoke that pipe the pipe melt,
but it went down like when I might eleven thousand went down straight down like the bomb. Was this big melted
I just would like it to get there. I dunno what the what the basis of the story was.
It s also went down like one of those tat was there was this baby? More
my girlfriend's welcomes. You will happen to have been. I have no idea, man, somebody was smoking. Bazooka, I'm gonna! Guess I'm gonna get one for the party on sunday
We often does sunday sunday item saturday, sunday.
Oh george party, saturday, grey
come sunday. I thought it was a joy to party on sundays, its
it's a nine year old, little girl birthday party. She, like three friends
friends and thereby mattresses all love gonna shit like that. It's got it's an age limit. I look here right and we gotta be. There's gonna be like ten or nine, where
I am for the planet. Every year I literally lay imperfect, so
got our sunday very often there, above all on the great for love you, I love those kids parties at your house are managed by the epic you get. His great mesa can spot from the heard that
Do another catering, korea, tat common? Yes,
Of course it also everytime. I assume that is. I you know
people give you at your beating about not doing their show. Not.
in china they're, like man, we're still.
Come out like been three years? I have not done their show yet and I just
I just dislike, I'm never in town, it's a blast. It's a far drive and it's like it's an it. So I never had it, but they don't. They don't give a shit they're always like, but whatever
a poor where we really want you in a I fucking. Does man the really Kosovo is a fucking, its
We're not gonna call me when you didn't we gods. How are you you doubt, use a man you're? Always? Oh dear, oh, I do like literally a little bit, for
in your in vegas. That's it that's what I feel like when I go so long to get out there. It takes like two hours to get out there and from there you too,
to vegas in us a year. Absolutely right,
I see two ontario back when it was quite as as
who, as it is now
so maybe it was. It was always a bit little bit that mill
Malta is a little hurry. Canyon can young kenya, another name whose daughter
can you he's?
either we ve got to hang over. How can John yeah are facing?
young ken young, that's how you say in korean now you down the jungles. Don't jung this ignoble did I
I made the biggest mistake. One time and I've always wanted to posit deposit say someone accident, and then you just kind of like wish. You had said it right
like I said I saw doktor, can also throw owens red
Animals, narrow owens, who shoots of recovery, central and kit duff can walks
Let's see him and he's always been the sweetest guy wagner the world. You want to share that those are for strength too. Okay, let's do that. Thank you, though. I can't, I think, I'll pass
yesterday and I do another not to drink- appears strange. So the south africa it is, do we
I represent, should not with animals,
good. These show here is an embassy which go over the set to enough worth govern eat. One night.
Food, not food wars, fuckin, it's a big NBC, show up fuck. I forgot the name be his party away,
so he's partying with, like Simon rex, and all those guys every night he's love in l a I wouldn't be shocked to be moved out here now he's doing with new york. Really yeah he's got that he's got that
yeah he's he's living out. We should all go out to dinner. Some we did a podcast with that. Richmond
an arab get hit it off like fuckin, yeah yeah. He knows his food, I mean he ain't, pulling back closer to enjoy some people on tv, don't know dick this small thread. He knew his spots to the millimeter wow like he knew his spots.
There's a place in colombia which has this, but that, on the other side of town of extreme you're it may gone. Wow really knows is fuckin shit. He really does he's
you got you about both you guys had us. Invite, though, is like you wrote you.
Membership, yeah
I don't remember a fucking thing. I couldn't tell you the name of what I have lunch and I tweeted it. I still
learn how to say it. Bb mop or some shit also been the map. Is that what it is? Yeah? It's a it's a korean foot yeah.
It was so good man with a fried egg on it? Oh yeah, I have no idea, that's a dulcet. I have no idea, it's a also like a around it's the the it's like a
stone ball. They hated in the idea, as does been about it, so
What can we do? You wanna meet each have poor, poor, yeah, sure rib nice and it
fuck it I'm going to set the tables egg and you mix it all up and the egg. Would you ever go to take a bow over on Ventura?
It's good! You know those through the the muffin they stuff it with everything. You know that, like that dumpling that a rice, the real white one, the soft one and they put all this different stuff in their meat and vegetables and shit- it's fucking amazing- and it's like two bucks. You just order a bunch of yeah right what was pistol. I went for sushi totally fucked up my order. I got up and went
with meant. I was just in baltimore b WI. They have a great sushi spot out there by the gate. Eleven I'm telling you man, those guys. I had albacore three orders to hundreds of nice sashimi and all this shaming and then tuna and
tuna belly toro how that at some a couple rose, terrific man, I've forty bucks in baltimore airport in baltimore airport, and it was great big pieces-
fish is so good man. It was just like this, the perfect way to fly, and it s a perfect food to fly out. It's not your good, it's clean, you feel utility
human makes you drink, I'm tired of water. I get that right,
arachosia get a nice heat for another man. Sitting
two men. If I'd, if you'd entities be disrupted before tabasco, aren't over what fucking tabasco, I don't like.
Let's go anymore, it's too lingering mcchrystal mouthwash anyway,
Oh yeah, me too, I went to a cuban joint there. They gave me to a rascal. I looked at joey crystals, the shit. How good
Was there for was that was that gumbo in austin across the street, from the hotel, oh I've been fucking dead,
We are talking all day, stop a thousand.
Watch out jack every I would get. I would get the one with sources
and seafood at it, and they put a raw clam
cook in their while they walk it to you and you get it and you eighty us to explore all the mild and the fucking chop, suey fruits, Allison papa does, as we say,
No guy goes to papa those to get jobs equals now, but it's fucking eyes its flocking amaze. You have great sounds that shit
erie salad, I mean bro, that's legendary. Had I had a piece of fish when I just said, let me get a piece of fish, whatever the fuck yeah right, I won, it was amazing, they're amazing yeah I got some. I got. I got red fish, black and red fish with the the mashed potatoes like a doctor
since the greatest and put the opel ass a sauce on it. It's like blacken the crab and oil
there's an shrimp and others
mushrooms and handsome little bit
so like that of us, like a brown sauce goes on top of it here I like em
By the way guys I got barbecue sauce, common rafi, maize,
baby Jesus bbq sauce for baby Jesus bbq has yeah. I've got fab baby Jesus, which is a black baby. Ok on the label, alright, and then I've got a hot and spicy one, which is called the superstar giner okay after pussy mate. Alright, and
and then I have a hot with terry Aki. Is this?
I saw that I had in my fridge. Yeah
barbecues. How have you and tell you barbecues us is good. I e that we live in los angeles California. I made in that
call russo rule by the way, the teriyaki for lucy low,
how bad is it that right now we couldn't get papa goes quality food in the house.
It is that papa those isn't antennas. None of the palm knows a medium plays right at that is you take.
That upon this reaction. Slipping you today,
terrific, but they take the date. They know who their catering to and they do the price point and do it so good and affordable. I mean you know their servers there make like
fifty thousand dollars a year rule poverty, man they're always been
always or they are built ways, and that is that is gonna mama there in texas, where they tipp big ted,
It said everybody louis Texas is doing good right now, everybody that they go into the people that go to papa those next time. You go there on saturday, look
since all the high joe
tina. Oh my god, we hid c mon. Last week I had the tuna disregard. When we get the salmon, we
This? Is their life? They go away.
What years, however, we rightly they know everybody this the fucking cocktails,
I'll drink doctors are made,
for saturday night mendous bright eyes greatest,
it's a new year's day I ever had was in beaumont texas. After I did the the club there the weekend, all right
a lot and I would just dying to date and stacy and jody, and I and laura I went to papa, does
and we had to work and bloody mary
for four hours out of
The wording in the end, the mason jar
We had alligator, we had eight or a dozen oysters, okay, we I like doctors and drank out they lie with the
greatest day are fuckin ira men. When you find something good. I just said to my wife I said Ileana I was I was like you know what I wouldn't mind doing like getting like
like you can move that if I was
I wouldn't mind they once
thursday night, like once when I'm in town on a wednesday night or tuesday night goin out next
different cuisines.
Yeah these food. You know like just food that I've.
have underlined, the open food. I know the people
you can either to highlight is that,
if they come in may this is a biologist, I'm sorry sigh but, like I don't feel free, I don't really get. I don't really fuck around with too many different ethnicities foods we had for for the first time, the internet. Together she was panicked. She was like
shoes are out. This is stupid and even though it I don't know, rating is on a menu. It's like a budgeting.
Beats in them, like one too,
I don't know what let's just leave us just. I don't even know how to pronounce it. I go. Look. I don't have a problem mate being mate like looking foolish, so I'll bring the guy over and I'll just ask him. Yeah papago over organized
you like: there's a guy for a time for them, and then they do the agency
potato and he tells me
What order she ate it she finally came over dollar ought to make it she loved. It knows like how cool
a new experience for me. Shit yeah as the best man have you
gone on like sunday down to chinatown for that dim sum. Buffet, no dude, it's fucking great, take the kids down there love it. There's there's like fish tanks with live fish, the people they they take, those fish
got a mother fry em, a whole fish. We want to help those who grow does escher. Sugihara is really into like different uzis in different ways:
The EU is a little bit of a
He loves, I should we want to go to dinner one.
Mere I've ever hang out. What that guy sequel, clogging up all the hang out with him or he's a real soon,
hang out with him he's
I mean be even invite them to my party. You should
He is he's one
guys. It's like it's like
the almost think he doesn't like you cause you so real.
Again I break his balls. A lot see our time. I've married couple times. That of think you lied to me no
just isn't one of these crises like he's a lot like
like you like me, Joe
it's a girl like Joey.
is to its very similar in that in that they are whether, if bigger
but the other where people with a real people
I going to go over the top they're not going to fucking make you feel like they want it. They want to suck your dick
There's going to hang out looking to get to know you and if they like, you, though, make
The you know. You'll you'll have real conversations. Yeah he's yeah, he's great leela him and his wife made me laugh yeah,
Well, I want to buy you, don't hang out with him, I'm never, never really unknown. Yeah he's gravely
yeah. I don't know
If it does, I dunno anyone anymore. I feel it man, I'm an old dude man. This is my twenty fifth year of comedy. Are you serious yeah?
even though the ten years longer than me this way, my fifteenth
We learned a lot of success and fifteen years of schubert.
did. I think so I don't know, I'm just forget lucky
I think I'm lucky in using the one thing I say we will go
we'll gimme some advice, my only vices and never I've never said no to anything. That's I just
said yes to everything and allowed whatever opportunity to unfold? And it's like
like even featuring in all our peoples like go, oh
get you hook up with a dude.
And they pay way. I was never with anyone that paid my way.
for I was by the pay for my flight hotel, my fuckin like, and I would
a pocket. I had made a lot of money really early in this business and I went out of pocket and I too, to learn the business yeah and I fuckin I and I
just said. Yes, if someone said that a date I'd go and fuck him do that
a member flying in the cities of new, have data and I'll give you that
we'll get you up, and I was like our right and then a fucking did that I did it for
so long and then all of a sudden is like headlines seem like
while making money. I wasn't making any money making like fifteen about ranking, but I was like well it's better than being out of pocket. Seven hundred bucks yeah, so I dunno that's the way I've always looked at it. I just never said anything.
You ve turned suddenly regret what.
dial. No, you haven't. You turn us on the ship stupid shit. Really,
I can we're the last couple of years, people caught and now, like the last of summer, doing a podcast. I don't want to do shit yeah, like I don't wanna do shit
I I turned an audition tomorrow, ten o'clock, I'm just not really do,
shit. I wish I wish I'd, try nothing. While now I think things out, and I see I turned our meetings.
Maybe with that I love general meetings. Now I love the love fucking good general. Now it's just the panama, a ain't. My ass, you want me me eleven. Let's do it. What are you talking about work for them
ordinarily beaming day by day to go high wall and they're all of what thirty. So it doesn't
it's really we it out and,
Ass three, as I just tried down somewhat tv s, war episode, some hidden show, it can't know its two thousand and thirteen is not changed. My life
well, we'll have. The first question is now: will you call me as well who hath was issue here? Have google you before where's issue,
fuck is, I wasn't sure if the that, after many days rise, raise the move, I will use the fact that people call me they offered me.
Friday, I told her. We were really cute like they offered to me on a friday, and I did it right
and the fullness of. Let me just go home and look at my gown and double check, and I called one of the producers that call me first yeah.
I just got to calmly sided with omelette
my counterfeit what's inside, what are you gonna be?
now like
between san diego, like twenty,
from san diego on Monday morning them
as a dane, I believe that in the morning I see what the money was, which wasn't bad, but I really had my Monday plan that
I thought of the three hours and one would think of a war going on breakfast with it in a way.
so many around. I have to do a set with some fucking dude. I don't know what the guy from from the hospital show that to the hostess that rat know the black kid
oh shut down or phase on I phase where he was in
I know what he sees on. Scrubbs better is funny problem.
For that reason, for that's wrong. So that moment,
it's funny that I thought about it: a rail for that ruby, railways that innocent paying our gay round back you know of any girdle is now you know
the colonel box that one w b c champ
yeah, but forty four came and he wrote a fucking script assault the marquee. Oh, I know who you're talking about yeah yeah yeah mind when I got up, I walked into them
are you really credible veni? We Donnie who can work,
I heard this story. Many de Niro's casting a movie called boxing. Is you know I'll just make up a story? Yeah and he'll go. Let me go get a pet whose cast are getting a little rough. He meant
that may come back and go what's the name of the more regular Joe rogan story that passing a burke crisis. I know that name.
Yeah- write it down, but it'll put it in a briefcase. Ten minutes. It'll come back to me at the auditions, will Joey. What's the name of that movie, fucking specks, flying through windows,
atlanta sale. I know that I know this. Then I get home an hour later I get the phone and he'll call again joey, oh god, who don't have to call for coffers movie quotes imitated by something about vinnie curdle. He said one day I didn't even notice he was sitting.
They talk you, I said some of the tv act. I think that guy's funny the middle of his father,
whenever he isn't is at bay. Yeah, you know hit him in the head.
Whatever the bags, your quarter, jolly, that guy does not mine, you in here
Life does a word, you'd never hurt and that's cut an action. You fuckin right.
Because when you up down stays doing a thing, there's no cut. Let's do it again
there were no action
no editor run at twelve o clock at night to make you look pretty you'll what you are, and I talk about my keys,
within this guideline offline.
The night that flocked in sharp telling me this.
tv round as people many times over
to a second guy says the jug eight times everybody loves the same way right, coma, knock it off.
Then, when the show ends at guys on that guy's try to get the stand them.
guys, because both of some
we lied to them on this set. That's good luck for the spirit, yeah! That's a good one right! There we're right in the corner and that's what happens. It's a different realm. That's the room and I'm not putting anybody
now there s only those Zadig ojo who the fuck are you talking about. Two different round
about me rather, burma requires that we could use it fifteen twenty one point: five
We want stages, only shot deal,
When you see the common sense, especially the one is no bad thing if you'd best job that way.
The fifty states doesn't work that night. You don't stop that can now. Let me explain the job to you. I got this job one night when I was thinking about
Now you set a die, but if I see retail cut it
they all more time to look at the eightys and the aid these
Next, you know you're. The bacterium
shut. The fuck up, don't say glad
and they go into the real world and find that
Was a girl, you mamma gavin, you staying out what a girl that was doing a fucking public access show in new orleans
I'll. Never forget this girl, because this is one of many hollywood discuss those stories.
That. Nobody knows about. She was doing a public access show on tv
if stationed in new orleans, you know the girl, yeah and dave Becky or somebody saw ye, call the public access station. Some big manager got her name and number brought her up. The next week gallery deal
the two hundred and fifty thousand dollars side unseen. Sweater guy got her
mission for sign. I lie which you didn't want to do because you
Maybe I'm mad tv first mad tv did not take us. She wasn't good enough. The med tv, but a new show came along the sedative entertainer had a show on fire.
Is it going to produce was louis ck? Nobody remembers that show really. We hired me for the show yeah they got picked up for six episodes by the third episode. This girl was calling herself the queen on her door. It was a queen
it merely castle when you went into her dressing room. She actually was that big of her head that she design that, like a queen, a princess and she had a thing by addressing
said the princess ass. She thought in her mind because she was doing the fuckin see w
whatever yeah whatever his name, is he's a great guy. Whatever I'm talking about yeah, she taught that he was. This is the greatest show in her life, all the
episodes, I show ended and that business
a photographer, really photographer and she's married she's, fat and fucking. I am a fucking
But you know when she came here, I watch this girl and you see guys like
that really work high. We don't get nothing for twenty fifty thousand laws. They had the arrow tuna for these
shouldn't even done a fuckin open like a ship. That was that that that used to happen, I mean there are chicken all the time
Dixon was the do he's dead. I heard some attain the other day. He's gotta kill development deals. He did because he got up
I voted thousand dollar velveteen. I was born that really seventeen fifty he tied
mitch, Hedberg
broke out of seven or if it has not, however, poured out of my area that was with a bag. It gave him
I have the guy drop below the guy drop. A little dirty needles walked out the rule. Seven marking the saviour of enough for you
we get to them before you comedians and they get badly shit like that mitch, Hedberg or I don't want to think that did he got rather soda mitch. Hedberg dead
A fucking lot of people in a ralphie remembers his shit cars we're both here. Fuck yeah, dude, mitch, Hedberg, went to mother fucking montreal and came broke and they shut the improv on a monday and tuesday.
yet a showcase on Monday was riders and tuesday and wednesday.
sure noses and shell run producers yeah and packed with people and mitch could talk to any of us here. Bad anxiety that night, because he had a talk, dolly's, fuckin asshole
If they close the mall, fucking and prob, I remember election fuck, yeah man. I asked if he was the next seinfeld. Remember time magazine, you don't remember this
spread this fuckin story a remember. This mid Hedberg destroyed montreal destroyed and he came
Let's say they came back on a sunday that monday and tuesday
shut, the improv down shouted down because they did two knights of showcasing for
However, one one, then it was riders, somethin tuesday night was executive, produces runners, that's a true story to nice. Data can only be shut. The fuck up these to shoot the last act you foresee a yet when they did their showcase for the public. This wish
public, just riders, so that line outside a writer and tuesday- and I shall runners and fucking-
yeah you fuckin serious yeah measure is the crazy shit. You're saying you ever see you again
which was so you with that everybody was dead, get nobody. Everybody was in a
business holy shit, everybody everybody I have one set. I once
when I was a young young comic, and what did I say, I'm showcase whose me
you, member reno, collyer
reno collyer next words and dane cook earthquake yeah,
scott henry.
got any further name for ever
and still doing comedy yeah
got a someone. I just ran into a written to him.
doubtless airport to that. That would be a miracle, but so
I go up an end I'd. It was one of my first showcase and I was like I was
excited to be on it.
I got one what wall upstairs I see, how has the whole place at all? You know exactly.
and though upstairs jockeying for the lineup and no one wanted to follow earthquake. No,
are the followers yet Scott hundred and Henry went. The first earthquake went second, and I, and- and I was supposed to go for
and whoever was also his name. Whoever was was I fuck. I've been doing this.
With a burn, a better shouted. The deal put bird after earthquake he's,
I needed a business, so I went up after earthquake on how to deal with the year before I came in she and I had to get these deals
This fuckin replaced the right time and the rules on articles read about me.
got a little bit of a baxter
go into it to an end. I was ok, stand up, not great, but ok, anna, so earthquakes,
on and he the room was still
A mediocre laugh at last factory levelled levelled at level. Two decimated talked about
that. They set a bond of this house's suddenly bullet bombers, boys black people like me,
I don't I don't remember I don't remember where the bomb- I don't remember. I remember watching this sex. It was before I realized because I get get it at the lab.
Protein years ago, yet and so
he goes up. He goes up again
his gazette I'll fuck. I remember I went up
lit the room of fucking fire is the.
at the time in my in my career. It is the highlight of my career. I remember that day like it was anything because I remember when I said Kathy Griffin was hosting kathy,
also six got here. First earthquake, one second, our third Cathy griffin gets onstage and
make us that was just a dream set. You change your life and I went. I was really ass. She was and as I'm walking off stage
I see everyone getting up walking to the bathrooms where you are going to go and I walked. Overbury cats grab me,
I feel hallway and he's like he's not talking to
one right now, and I was like this-
using pop up here.
So much fucking money. Everyone wants
and people are trying to talk to me about hey. I gotta show idea, go show idea and I was like a shepherd
aside from unicorn fuckin, whose it get out of here,
really you don't talk to a fuck. It's all the next day unnecessary.
This I had more meetings. I was supposed to go to scotland with the trees
I am more meetings not day that I've ever had
This is me like it. Fifty minute increments.
drive around town like every word, everyone everywhere and it was like one
they re like oh shit.
and I got a deal from it and it was, I know, of nothing happened of it, not
that's the that business work back then, is like you had one hot,
and everyone fucking jump to be in on your team and then
but you can only talent, identity, talent,
the tv show out of it. I got the echo or did that for a year and a half or a year
I know how to fuckin hostess show I dont know how to do it. Not
Actually. I didn't know how to do anything. I didn't even know how to do stand up. I could
We do seven minutes.
seven minutes also. Chris Tucker, I could do seven minutes with Michael Jackson, oppression of the end
yeah, I got a deal and then got tv shown, that's crazy, but
It was like that I did. When I got my deal with will smith. I did once
random that his dude was in the audience saw.
and was, I think, will like you like great his
im, so we met and we hung out. We had a good time and then- and he liked me and then I'll- never forget barriers like he will see. You do stand up one more time and I was like
fucker. If I can make that happen again, since I got a great
that one I write, but with the pressure on us like, if I could do it again and I well, I bury him,
if your manager- no no, no. No, I love Barry. I think Barry's great. I have no problems with Barry yeah. I did listen to a podcast where he kind of talk shit about me. I was like I was like. I was like fuck
Barry he does a podcast. Now he does his other dudes podcast and their agenda was to talk shit about me. I was like whatever
like I, it comes with the territory, though managing people yeah yeah. You know, ain't came to vegas to my taping and stay though the thing saw man
these are tell you what two cents about Barry.
despite what every set about me that that you
Take it away his enemy.
business everything fucking comes up.
What goes on in one way or the other rolled off my back? I don't care, I think he can make magic happen. For me,
for. I think these interested in you and he gets a passion about you.
magic haven't. I think him getting fired from new wave is best thing that ever happened for anyone that work for them, so that these hungry again- and I told him all-
when I was like the hungry barriers- and I want to be with the guy that big
making the millions of a dane and whoever
his clients are, there are big at the time was like that,
using very was ignored.
seeing because he doesn't have a time for you wanted to call right, but it
We bury restarted own companies. Fifty five,
he's trying to prove himself again and hurt he's going through divorce, go to his voice, his wife's writing about little facebook. Why
He blogging about the divorce or facebook so, like
yeah I mean it is. I got left disease
got some people he's the executive producer, the two girls would you ever hear britain, but
that figure head. He got here
it's not like you guys showed up on set I'll. Tell you that either he's not going in having any fucking. That is the manager, but she launched he.
Yeah everybody lost, he was whitney's manager and then she she fired him. I dunno why she fired him. Everyone's got reasons for firing him. I only fired him just cause. I couldn't get them on the phone and randomly the deaf are to be answered,
I go. This is how the universe work,
I know the answers on fire. Second ring a barber like fuck. I got a fire,
I was in an elevator it or to those
a better afar
then I lost it blows. I call you back.
He is he's a good
you I like I always like Barry. I thought he had thought he gave great advice and I thought
insights on the committee
Brain were always fucking astute and, like I don't think, you're right. I think he knows what he's doing I'd
The biggest really good help people shape sets like to to do a set hid. His insight is is invaluable,
He can get you great meetings and is always great in a room with you, like he's, really good in a room, but I've also found that you know for having said that
there's allowed you to do that. To like it's not like her
with manager cause I'm looking for a manager Judy no danger
years ago. She told me I was too fat. Do aspirin
I got a standing ovation stone. I was too fat. Do ass, went to fetch the tv water now got
eyes, specials, six again
the current six so mean site, really
We go samara,
Mary told me that patrice would never make it because he needed to get his teeth fixed and I was like when they come of a bear
right holy shit, I go Barry because I don't know why anyone would want to look at him on tv as teeth are horrible, he needs to get them fixed if he wants to be successful. If he wants any success,
in this business. He needs to get his teeth fixed.
use the means attitude does not start healthy,
You mean a time of one of the greater comic voices of our time.
o neil the guy that everyone fucking
really talk legions about, and his team is what made the fuck man
you start to think about the things that make the man the things that make
you're the guy one stage right like a fucked up, grill that you ve had your whole life and you ve never been able to fix it eagerly issued to bed.
you know it's not that not that losing weight. One thing we know
like I want to ever be like ripped ngos.
age ripped and you I, like you,
awesome ripped make as much as you take your shirt off. I take it off.
I'm not ready. I was never take it off.
What are you
doing. Otherwise man I mean was this. I love that trip flip show bro. I gotta be honest with you. I watch it all the time or tweet about it next month. I liked the fact that you go and you make people you change their lives. You give them something
in tangible and the fact that you give a memories and is just a wonderful cathartic showed a watch you and I have.
ending in your day. You s traveller
It is a positive energy, shit man, I love it. Then I love it and it's a fucking function.
in another season. Of that, just start, like september,
What do you shoot, therefore? Forever? Oh really takes fucking forever yeah, because you do like you do like one episode takes like four or five days, five days with travel so you're talking to MIKE, and we do
now so like fly I'll shoot file, an ex ante shoot, but we're gonna change at this year. You know it's like it sucks, because our no, maybe I'm too critical, but, like I fight
for hard to make to make sure that the casting about
is genuine and he was still
what's in it it looks a little fuck imposed at so so I was
That's all about that and there were like will we can make it make it so fuckin, genuine
it is gonna, be exhausting all cyclists. Try it.
try a new way of like like a man
or genuine way of casting. Let's see if that works, but here you know it's
it's just it's always every shows every show I've ever been. It's always been a work in progress. You know
it's good show more comedy, I'm on the road fuckin with
gillis not about two weeks off doing I'm hosted a tv
It's gonna be shot for tv by me
time,
the un's special it's in the farm? And it's you be one of four comics. I got it
pretty good or good. I've got an offer do an hour. A showtime yeah, but I just is just
have time to shoot at the Gaza conflict lugano.
have time to work on the hour, but I feel, like I'm fucking, feel like
so, when are you going to do an hour urea christine pavelski can't accomplish? On sunday she said: oh yeah, we gotta find that word fuck, christine present sky.
bonds he's gonna, be in town, so, where what are you
Were you taken in september with cd or cd Y? Just your problem, like a little closer than I'm doing the special in October right downtown, I'm sure that lacey studio,
nice, that's awesome. Are you going to release it online online, fuck you're, the one? Nobody wanted. Somebody just approach the two people both.
No really yeah, they want all the money. I don't need them, but I need them for whatnot.
in order to solve. I didn't. I need them. Ten years ago
isn't unlikely now they want to call me and they want to take the first, whatever. No, no, no, you have no idea what you could do online and every month you gotta check it's a residual check every fucking month, yeah everytime, you do a podcast, you sell two thousand, I'm right. Why am I going to go? Do that and this other people contact
We go to jail. No, I don't want to do none of that stuff right. One line. I want to do the fucking jew. What's the jew in the sixties, Lenny Bruce.
Bruce at a box, you don't move its american box.
jody audience you dont know by right of weapon box. There's no reason why you showing the guy, you ain't even laughed, and why you
yeah. I know I won't do that on. My legs were ominously special out watched all of rich apprised of
he never saw the audience.
So that is monitored. This is new Ivan guide, direct, the well known for
I want to farm on. One may- and I emphasise latin so bad because and it's my child, what's his name,
one toy and those guys. This is what they did. They they laugh track it, but the laugh track they got wrong. Was the latter so they're laughing, but nobody's doing this yeah? They just sit like fucking. There are awake watching time on. I don't need that yeah, you know. Let's not you more people have the computer and have showtime
yeah for a short time. Special pseudo you're wasting my time because more people when you started in this area in this room, had goals and the girl was hbo. Splash lobby talked about showed. No, we may end up in jail. Was you know why
Next, to nobody much time essential wasn't even around there are many such it wasn't, even a wrap. Everybody knows at the end of the benchmark for status. I'd say they still want to give rob. Client, specials and duty to noodle.
As two thousand, so it's never gonna happen
We all know that yet shall timeless graver. I've seen some great people do great stand on my shoulder that nobody really felt patrice o did his
but I said time- and he said to me- I go make
Education is yours, I showtime, I said what
because guess it's time said we are, but it still fucking great specially goes. He does not each
oh, I said yeah he goes he goes. Do you have showtime? Remember that time I didn't know, and he goes exactly comedy. Central gets a lot of showtimes. Definitely
they're doing a lot more comedy, and I think it's because drop the ball tab. It yeah. They have
and they're, giving them money away. Man of a raw requires vessels kill yourself I, but I mean they spent autonomy on those that a lot of money, but you're, not a thing with calling
while the seinfeld erected right. It was a great thing, but love what is real
now is the second sci fi, some hats on age, girls, but god forbid jerry.
felt tat. I was twenty years ago.
What glad to know she ain't right? That was twenty flocking years ago, what what wars,
this can say to you about.
No, what we say about the editing o o
I to tell you fuckin this afternoon I come back. I get out and monster traffic with the girls I'm exhausted. I'm stressed I go and I get in.
Islas bed, Georgia's an artist.
georgia's in a room she's watching tv
and I said I said
a baby. To me favour. Can you see, I want to see a sums on? She goes daddy. This from doesn't have cable. I got what her tv
have fun cable, all they do
They go in of the wireless and stream fucking things off, netflix she's, a tv that doesn't he even attached to cable. I go
the future fast. If you look at a tv as as ike as like, what channel do I watch, she knows what all watch types it in finds it
watches it like fucking. That's what I think people want to switch to. I think they want to.
linear tv. They aren't going to wait a week. They want it. Ok fast I and I think people like watching the spurts and chunks they they binge on it and I think that's the way it is. I think network tv maybe got ten years
if that, if that was maybe really with modern family show,
As I stated that shit I watched a couple weeks, is
If that's the hottest show on television caser, then we got a fucking problem.
I've never seen anything all these shows. They just said that this approach
with the best show everyone television. I heard that her that and it's because of the writing, the first two seasons,
about a month ago. I got stuck as its honour reno HBO brought to sopranos back yeah, it's on at eight o clock every night in new york at five o clock you really and they keep playing every fuckin daily stardom all over, and I watched the first who seizes religiously because of some of the best riding tv is ever had
so we Christopher Columbus when they want to fight the indians, aware of torture in Christopher Columbus either in the area
That's brilliant shit.
well, you'll, never see another mom movie again this country or mob television, because he d law. That's it. You can't shabata video. I want to see that iceman by the way
Is it horrific? No referred reason: no, don't say they're perfect for somebody who knows me and to sit there to see them just chop up. You know if you watch the documentary on h b o he tells a story about what
which one there's like four over the first one was the first to really good. After he got. He just got like a Jesus complex. He killed, everybody was there when they killed Jesus yeah, they killed the kennedys.
After a while. If you read the book, the last four chapters he just became this fucking. You know in his mind I was there when they know you want yeah, but he just
it it's funny. He had one great story. We went to the guy's house on christmas day. Yeah he killed the guy and the guy goes geez,
I know it's christmas- is going to tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm a lie for now, I'm a locked, the door. Jesus you pray. If Jesus opens the fucking door, I come back. I won't kill you, but Jesus Donald
Fuck fucking could cut back on all the doors locked. It comes to the shooter guy. He goes home and the girl guy goes to unfold. What did you feel when you kill the guy went home for christmas day goes well. I was pissed because when I was building my kids toys
All the screws in the movie shot a guy, the same
but you didn't talk about christmas ago and that what division?
so many things that were inconsistent like like I grew up with the prying gaze. The problem was the mister softee character, in that we grew up with the sons really knew that I knew
people that knew the father. I knew that I hit on the mother an acquaintance.
As album after the father that I'd seen the mother up. I was seventeen, the mother's fucking bag and she's. Looking at thirty five, I'm stuck on her neck she's like joy, how many times you eat cookies? At my house,
of luck and next and I knew the kids. I remember that the football coach went on. There was scanning the father.
Died. He had he have his job was it was mr softly. He sold ice cream, but his real job was. He dug holes in the cemetery. What they didn t I thought I'd kill them was that he used he was bearing people let's getting tilbury bert, as somebody dies
Im gonna bury me just throw you under the body, so he throw you in the hall first and then in the morning he put dirt on you and then, when the family came to bury the real person, the casket will go over you really thinking of unleashing
An earthy of that photograph. He was that because
these are in there. So you worked with a cemetery.
Well, my buddies. His kids used to get high at his apartment on the cemetery that was part of the mystique and one night they went looking at. They found a wall that was hidden. They found grenades
They found slackened, really guns machine guns, bulletproof ass. Well,
acting was sensational. You knows really good to check. They called shoplifting and beverly hills
oh winona, ryder on the road is fucking great yeah. Well, the road was fucking great and the guy was good
what work on pilot play them very good. While the cops on what will happen,
we played the ice. Man, he was dunno, who else is in that franco, James Franco, comfortable, just regular nose in it, the guy from friends which is a heart.
Oh casting guy from friends, the guy was in love with my work with their davits by that date.
baby, swimmer day, which will replace the jew
was right. The males have sunday
right. The male had to kill you placed a jew, ani, google blazed outlets.
Guy, I forget who plays israeli oda iceman really.
it plays Roy de mayo- he's terrible, really well he's thorough. You know these movie stars all fucking with their faces and they have no idea how
really it looks, but the beauty of it is in ten years of you don't look creepy, then I got a high ranking everybody's fuckin with their faces tonight. My wife documentary she was watching. It generally have finished and she's with the channel to wait for some months, and this was on it was a document about women.
Comedy and they showed about four women and all of them have been fucking with this I think latasha little village girls doing it too, was definitely the chick from Houston. What's her name, who one that thinks she's spoken for everybody,
giant curry now know what's go.
His name I know was that she was from Houston she's, really from Boston, janine garage for janeane, Garofalo, she's she's. Definitely she's definitely had a little work. She did something
what's the name I think jimmy gravel of so sexy
fucking sexy of oil? Far I track was a vague legal obey. He doesn't have like julio because bible quotes.
Are you going to eat that pussy? That pussy looks bad? You guys just watched an episode of the sopranos she was on and she plays an actress on there and they are perfectly like this.
I was her killin sandra bernard and they cut the sea. Ass issues must
the last words she said to me a bitch. I really don't like hearing that word she's, one of those one yeah shut the fuck.
You brought our states evaluating progress. You wouldn't touch me. What is it
Mentioning reveller
thanks and I went. I went that's why
but then I was like well. I guess I probably was telling a another one to eat. Last funny thing she said, but I give him whatever the fuck. I got in a band over her. Her last few dog,
was last point in that bit set her lad, arrayed. Not
No her last her last her last.
I I thought was really good.
I can really was so the story about
pissing in her and then and then
enhance appetizer and putting our pussy. They use.
The dirty was really kind of aggressive. That's not there yet is
I guess, that's brilliant.
yeah fuck you he took his dick out for years, hoping that you can Jung takes his dick out in the movie he's the biggest fucking star in the country
you follow me have you say, tarred don't fuck and throw you off the fuckin emperor file you from the phobia. What's a guy with a beard, he says tied them.
will be retired thousand and time. Oh yeah fanatical detail what happened this morning. I was waiting. I have the baby from eight to ten from eight to eleven yeah for you not because I like saving money, but because I want to hang out with, I have nothing to do with the ball. She'll have the baby I'd go for a walk. You can't do anything with your baby, so I just go to north hollywood park. I go to riverside yeah
I get home I suck and put our spongebob she passes out. I see what else is growing. I went out to kill,
beginning, how's strikes
they do what they do. Their part would have
Rammers these teaching them English
do run, run, run and I'm dying laughed and then comes the pot with John candy and he walks in
hey, look at those bitches and it goes a fuckin they, the movie on this flight.
Was the moment. I think it s just like fuckin. He does friday because he was brilliant splash.
We asked, the air is come here
was great in every man. Every guy you forget is he's smooth mother. Fuck was up here, slinging dick and get this dick sucked like a motherfucker really already was a problem with him as he couldn't stop eat the diseases brain off like he would just walk really, and he couldn't stop snorting fuck that dude one died flunked. Those motherfuckers can be outed, belushi, listen, John candy
if baluchis head and fuck and the other fat slob, you know the guy that strip club on Saturday night live Chris Farley was walking around the credits
limits? He would take junk Kennedy would take baltimore baluchi suck his dick have the other brilliant
how the fuck and John candy wasn't. I am here this umbrella. Put a model, is the true: doesn't the pudding burma?
the steel, mine and trains ways and all that I always think about. What's the mortal thought when I call them as such
imagine you doing a movie? What we re movies, a great grip. The problem is the other guys jar candy. How do you attack that as a committee, you.
The following are hunting. I got a which I can give you a comic you like this.
yeah man. What am I going to do there? What am I going to do there? What am I going to do? Yeah
I gotta do stand next to where my shine going. That's why? Why see? There's nothing left man. I learned a lot. I guess the alarm because
as you know, what I'm talking about money this year,
it plays steve Moran play the straight man, a brilliant, brilliant, a whole movie brilliant, and that's what these guys. So today, I'm well, I'm sorry to get off the subject, I'm watching stripes and I'm watching
I can when he, I know what I know it's come. I've lived, the movie
I have thousand and I started cry. I started common because two things it would be. My dreams,
the more we light out with those guys here, our raymond, the doodle married to the that's when you walk into the improbable lookin site.
Millionaire, but guess what you got to suck my dick circle with ray miss him.
movie. Isn't that our aim is a funny mother fucker far, nay. He really is an everyone's funny in that cycle that dude from taxes
lighten up francis yeah. You just need the news that made them think about that. More weird thing about the hangover, yeah and there's such a huge gap in comedy
yeah, but yeah look! What happened? I said, look what's happening. It's the funniest movie of all time. Yeah hang on
As you know the idea. What's the list of rolling stock of fucking can't stand
The man with asia. Dank luck,
they had a list of the best body movies net had midnight run number eight, twenty,
Why are you so? The areas of excellence on ten, as in the top five min ironic, that really in the b was nobly members fuckin james com?
and my man, Alan arkin, that's as good as it were. Ass is all schools, but I'm thinking about rights on taylor behalf. This was a mediocre funny movie here. Those guys played so brilliantly met.
hey, I'm still destroys. I guess a comic. If you watch the rules or the commie, it was fuckin precision
unanalyzed, even fucking, precision dear it's fucking precision, what's all cabbie shack.
Kadesh genius do no kind of surgical. Research was meant to be about the caddy.
the movie had to get out caddies, and then they started getting guys
bill, Murray and ronnie dangerfield temperatures. Now it fuck it. It has already of making can
I did fucking a they awesome had bill. Have been, moreover, today's yeah, as he wasn't the hottest star, that's yeah and they had a shoot em up when they went
Wanna brothers limited the movie, had assent people down and to find out what the fuck was going on. They say that it is you guys. I got a thousand people out there
they worked on caddyshack. If they remember there lie if they remembered their line, we did so much blood. That's one
Look how this money we didn't know what the warranty we're back together was illegally
aircraft, a service and nobody eats and will just bikey a little blow for eight weeks. That's exactly what they did. He was one of my favorite
favorite line of that whole documentary is when they said that who I am or maybe it was.
Bill merrier tributaries of they did the first take
the dangerfield you wanna get any Gaza goes home bomb and abominable bottle, and there were like
what things like yet so then they went back and they told the cruellest emily. Does his jokes laugh and make him feel comfortable, and then
I thought that was like because that's how I felt the first time I've ever done anything I was like. I was like no one's fucking, laughing yeah and then you're like is this even
me. How do I know this is right. You motherfuckers sub, before electricity
up
If I feel when I go to the bar, I all the time go. Hake even guess, use whelp book a great. It was that
I was saying that they had anybody. They wanted. They had don Rickles for that part and they go no. We want rodney dangerfield because they hadn't seen him on the tonight show yeah and he was killing like rodney king killing. Every time we do a performance come up with another seven minutes that yeah yeah they were like fucking bang,
I dunno we got richard pryor now, thank god. We don't really dangerous. I just read the book for.
I just saw. The game is about three years ago and I pull away and I found that the making it's really about the making of the toy ouch
Oh yeah. I was talking to Jackie gleason how to talk, teach richard pryor smoke weed in fucking public. You gotta read what I love like everybody always says. Who would you want to spend the day with, I think it'd be Jackie glace at least yeah? Oh yeah, Jackie gleason was,
he was the gold standard yeah that shit about the story about when they were going to give him the deal at CBS and they were going to get like a big.
feel they knew he asking for money and the next day the prey.
CBS went to office and the opened up the office. There was Jackie
sleep? I was couched in the night before they went
Secondly, the others cod is given what he wants. We would
wait. What what was the story went to get like? He had a meeting at nine o'clock here on CBS when the guy went through his office. Like eight thirty, you open up resolved. Jake least I'm asleep on his couch one night before he broke and slept got a lamb and hang out good money once I'm gonna do it.
well he's on my couch sleep but yeah. What am I do that with a bottle on the floor? That behavior is so frowned upon now, but it was what defined
like a member here stories about balloon.
going into people's into their fuck,
in the light houses yeah
animal house yeah John belushi. Let me hide people who are you fucking kidding me. You want to hide in the gap like that. Now you look at that.
The paparazzi are back, then it was a good story. Now it's like oh he's, got a problem or something wrong with him, and maybe he just wants to party man yeah man, who are you?
it was the first time ever that hire somebody and not the party. Smokey was the guy's name. Guy's name was bill super foot, while I was at it as it as it yeah, and he tells a story about how he used to go into restaurants, to sneak out the bathroom window and why
the studio gave Belushi somebody like you, gotta stay with him. Don't have a small coke, no problem. I got this under control. I'm gonna go to the bathroom pale pale gone yeah
you have the bath and some others ladys gone through the fuckin window. I read that book and a fuck him to this day.
Is that a print wired? Yet why
Yeah re goddamn book graver great talking about when it was prior and rob annoyance deniro.
Well. She didn't de niro robin Williams and forget prior at the comedy, store yes that, but they walked from the dublin. They were the dublin
really the dubliners, of course, yeah, of course, via the hotel yeah. They went to the hotel. They didn't find anything with it,
which was Mary, oh and peace in the seventies. Was
they're, fine, they walked. Imagine
We walk on sunset walking. This is deniro couple weeks after raging book
right. The supposed taxi driver yeah, oh yes, his post taxi driver posts raising bull, maybe even pose.
The father to really wow. Why you might have checked that yeah cause he didn't work much after after he got out that he was looking for pollution at night. They walked through the store,
the prior. Then they get the fine pry they walked back to it should follow.
Imagine walking down the street and you see robin williams and fucking Robert de Niro it'd, be like you imagine that shit. I did pick up who's that guy who plays a match on s via the robber know. What
the conspiracy comedian list are about buzzer here, which browser I picked him up. One time
I caught a sunset and and crazy highs. I was in my convertible and I might mister belzer. Can I give you a ride?
I rather male comedian, oh yeah, you're young, comic, re yeah. You need a ride.
As we know the care so we'll shoot? New love is a crazy man reviewed whom
and enrich, and richard klein on
and the richard Louis robber klein richard louis ran bells, her
when I was on the actual, when I was a host- and I just had no, I had no reverence for like there
story of josie. I was young. How successful knows I read as I guess the
in my head, if I look back, I would, I would have festival, fucking ton of more quests, but I was just like
Now you just don't know anything at that age. So fucking young you dislike,
So do you ever like I'd, probably give a bomb on who fucking knows fucking hack, it's amazing. I did a lot of the ass vu and it was really rude really make that point. The ice tea yeah says shud. I was in shock and I always swore that if I were the same, I would say something like what was the problem. What was your problem? Yeah, honestly out of all the people,
we got mad at me that day, I never thought it would be. A fucking stand up comic. Alright, you know what I'm saying so no shit like I never saw me. I was really cold in new york and we were shooting in the village and it was fucking freezing. The wind was coming off the hudson and, of course, it'd be a mechanic. That's under a car, and both of them asked me to pull me out yeah. They pulled me off the fucking thing. We call on the ice and they wouldn't pop the slider here and they thought it was late. I know that the fucking de cuba fucking he's a great kid, but yeah
Book but he wanted to do yeah yeah the first scene up, and that was only seen for the day. You know yeah, you never know all the fuckin.
should the goes on in someone's, I'm sure, there's been too
I I can't imagine, but, like I'm sure, there's been times were a fuckin,
maybe not me,
I know you say now
I had that happen to me when I was on the shield. You know what I understand, but it wasn't my fault. You know I've always like that's one thing: I've I've never really liked about that world. It's it's part of that world that there was,
do there's a dude. I don't know his name but he's like an austin com
I guess he has a radio show or something I didn't like me. I talk to you about this,
when, like I wonder what I did to piss guy off
I told you, I know you like fucking, you don't know you can't loosely by written like a bit like you
like I'm sure it was one of those moments like belzer, where I rolled into a club- and I got all this shit going on in my own head-
in the end, the gospel really nice, and I just as like. I am sorry I just
I have acted like one of those two soup
she'll do dishes and often didn't panthers.
you should pay. Every fuckin comic book
go in all your life. You got your fucking. Forget you know,
should that could happen, fuckin, money and bills,
I don't know you never know.
it's common. That's how I thought about it. I was just the shocked,
to see if it was an actor being. Do she told me I get you think if fucking stanislavski,
yeah. I never I like movies yeah. I really enjoy acting yeah, but I I I I don't understand you know. There's twenty two publications. I really get bothered by battles as entertainers economic. I don't understand how this twenty
publications about fucking the fact tat she had on the other car dash earlier.
there's no magazine that tells you by a doctor that save a retarded kid yeah, there's nothing about a fireman that day that you know. That's always bothered me out. They really give a fuck about brad pitt's opinion of it. I'm a big fan of brad pitt.
What what his opinion is? A politics yeah right, really don't give a fuck yeah, I'm gonna fuck your fucking kid rock one minute. He was in bed with widow, PAM and he's in bed with the other
Do you guys have said. I watch that liberace movie
was at how I hadn't even realize was watching in georgia's on the ground.
nice to me. What he's book even the ass.
literally watching and you look over at georgia's variants-
we should give a year. I would it is it's fuckin matt damon. On top of that, I go.
Applause I go baby
shouldn't be watching this. I just didn't. I know so. I was so long for the fact that it was about that shit.
The idea of with gay is to do to fuck each other in the ass and I I literally leeanne walked in and she was what and it's on the screen. It is a. It is a first,
sort of mac, damon top of fuckin, Michael douglas and buried in leading, walked in like what am I
oh. I was watching this with georgia yourself and I go take a look like georgia. Still like doc.
Net, but the era hey daily outside, though- and I have argued dumb ass ilo rolled him- to live with the
She apparently got me a present and she is she comes out of
in the living room she goes mom. Are we gonna get the present for de a d?
the presidency is one I go I like and spells yours.
Nah that storms out
I feel, like I'm not going to fucking get it funded dummy as the body of a fucking kid as a good baby. That's funny-
I was where, despite the high cover is its
block away.
It's our way, the dog that I love it? It's dump. You know man, I got blown off at the comedy store tonight. Did they blow you
yeah yeah. I said I was gonna combined with europe.
Absolutely right. We were just talking about that ten years ago. You would sit here and go Bobby. Slayton, don't come out during the week. How come this guy don't come out yet, and you started doing it, you come into town, not go out there and are we going to do and now I'm at the point of like
if they like. Lastly, they can live in alaska, actually twice the one that I told my wife and I was like that was so bad. I really yeah yeah, I'm going to karate I'm doing something. Then they call me going to long beach, which I, like you know it's like it's not my prerogative. No more. I don't want to go to the fucking problem and do a spot of my pains. My fucking heart forget the comedy store I want. You know. I laugh at you like I'll, go down and do a spot, but I don't want to do
weekends. I don't want to do friday at one of the fucking morning, yeah and fuck that were out of town. For me, man, it's more. It is the whatever the
The salary is for my soul. It right,
which is more to hang out at home. You of my kids, like you know, like, like I say,
the the ices thing to mourn. I like I'd love to go down. I know I'm fuckin blast I get hammered. I guess
wasted, but I was, and am I can enter important, just go driver after last.
because those shows are some of the funny shows I've ever done by the taste of cattle data currently dogma, the real thing.
And I get I get lit in their shots birthday,
I thought I was totally in atlanta- go! Maybe I'll swing up cause it's going to be like at ten. I gotta go
roll up a turn? The girls will be asleep and she was like yeah, but then I'm like. Ah then, I'm not going to be able to get up and make 'em like breakfast breakfast and pancakes, and I want to be a part of the morning.
The kids wake up, because this during the summer party and also gas it so then, and then we'll go on horseback riding and also now
yeah man for me, it's by better for my soul, my spirit to just
they hear lock it down. Get us get a good night's sleep falcon
scare. The girls in the middle of the night come in the room that you know like fuck around and be like be knee deep in the fucking ocean. You know what I mean yeah, as opposed to like an I but ma'am
me, has it like, like
pretty draw to go to the fucking improv, not nothing against the prophets, great club and then become resellers and for our factory and all that stuff. But, like I
There is just going to be like a bunch of younger comic, saying about drinking
go to the ice houses like all my friends syndrome drink.
That is where I go fuck, that's what I want to do.
yeah. I want my doing that. I am not doing anything this whole weekend, man and this weekend you really
yeah yeah yeah alone is worth it.
New jersey. So I got the baby's for the weaker. Do yeah docile awesome, may households will allow it,
yeah, I made a mess of money this month, the time slated to get some sleep man. I can't get enough sleep jack. I I it's like. I can't sleep when
I sleep yeah. Now we really want to sleep in the afternoon, like I wanna, take a four or five hour. Nap can't operate like that map is what's at six o'clock six o'clock, six pm my wife wake me up at seven gosh. I go to do something yeah yeah fucking. I can't take it either. I know how you feel like a human though after the
I know I took three nights on the road now bro and I am fucking gone. It was the greatest thing I was saying this to a morally greatest thing ever told me: cancel your sunday shows thursday, thursday friday angel sad,
nay bouser sunday and it- and you know what it's like I did. I don't miss.
What about one show is its is minimal com,
or two yeah being sober to your budget. Anyways yeah, it's fuckin, I don't mind my bus that bus is awesome man. What do you have a tour bus yeah? We bought
Dave Olbers rule yeah, it's a previous two thousand.
Five.
two hundred and forty thousand miles. I bought it then
dollar one point: four yeah, it's incredible its engrais shape.
The bottom, its double slight ass. It was the prototype model, so there
reinforce its super, strong it sam
but where do you to where? Where it now is nashville to nashville,
so you ve, landed ass and then go out of national on the bus. Yeah, that's fucking.
Bilbil was saying ass. He read the heat is enough. Apposite
bill ahead of time of year. If this is not what
want share, but he got he goes
It's the best everyday you go in you scrap one day like one day that pays for the bus with four bill. It does, but not for me,
I do. Fucking the whole day will be a fight break. Even he gets one date that pays for the bus and then do like fucking ten dates with your buddies
Just fucking do a little tour in a bus and ecosystems
The greatest things is like you're waking up he's like if you like, rock star you're in a fucking bus
whiskey in the mornings lackeys.
Do not the mourners, but you know pointing all night and these ngos,
the great things he was like. I think that
Florida dissolve these outside fuck. I would do that in a harpy. I go in fucking open for bill to be on a bus, drinking whisky.
fuck it I've been one of the things I always do is ask me, you wouldn't go. I do and I wish to god,
there was a lie. You should come to theaters with me. I do for theaters in a fucking, heartbeat it'd be a blast. Man
home is I just started making money on the road like for me. It's like the one
Poor we go, I want toward my bodies, I want to go on the road. My friends, I really
There was a genuine like death squad. Wide tour like
You know where you were was like a big group of just went out and fuckin did theatres and fuck it.
A blast and we're on a bus for a fuckin
than we going back and forth. Everyone is
I so does call for lives on the big but like the like,
Can I do like a tour where you're like, like that's one
it is me about the road is going into a city and you, like Donna,
you're gonna, get an alarm donor, the host.
you get an you put. You know it's like six
Half that you spend the majority, then I sell shirt.
in doing autographs. You know who to party with your friends. I would fucking love to do something like that said: crews, man, I was telling you about fucking next level, shit Joey! Are you next you're going gonna cruise now I want to fuckin for awhile a cruise ship
yeah fuckin, get out like all, if you like the one that like I'll just, I know that I feel like five
art, saying I'll: do it then I'll just do it and then for war? Crews can all my friends and their financing
First of all, the other probably got us all group bishop yeah, you know, and
have and have it be all these party, a mother, fuckers swear it
it's only gets. Nothing has three eleven, but I'm sure they're all sober like fuckin,
he's out there and really go hey you wanna fuck em party, you wanna get down
we'll, show you how to get down the grooves of the top was taking pictures from you'll be limping off this or that cow has been doing it for fucking ten years now, and he fucking makes money.
Every time. Every time and it's like one on one, not send something out of los angeles, go into fucking catalina, hidden.
not in mexico, come back three days too.
It shows live, podcast fuckin interact
with the fans. We got our own area, so you can do
talks and you have a good time. Massages fucking.
Or canal grave food, great booze, late knights and fuckin sweet
We're we're all talking shit hanging like friends. Go out, get it.
Thanks to the fans. Fuckin shake takes a picture
do some shots gamble. Mother fucker did I just sell you on a cruise. That's right, gonna berber.
I have I want to do a man
I will be a blast man,
Go on with your happy mother, father perhaps dash
yeah me how fuckin phone without being be before giving greatest time straight.
Vegas ban at tat, I looked into the prizes, are fuckin super cheap for like people they want to do so.
pretty we're talking lay before her eyes. Oh we're talking you,
go through and used to buy crews vacation.
I do I do every year for four hours. Yeah take my fans because my fancy tat heads fans and and
no doubt have less and
gave away
I gave a ways. A cruises last year
gave away nine trips to las Vegas. We pay for everything
referred. I got my face. Every little damage arrogant, grew joey than they get a stake dinner with even boughs and everything
free on the house. Okay, the cruise ships, those cruise ship foods, is fucking amazing. Thirty years ago, here I used to date a travel agent jersey, one of the things they did was tour around the tour to nowhere. You remember on the east coast, tourism know what you meant by the docks at like four thirty, and they took you out to the ocean gambling to eat and smoke. Don't fucking, sorry that you came back the next day at six in the morning to really say wow. Oh, that sounds fucking awesome.
What is the that's? The only cruise I want to, because I didn't know if I got seasick, oh yeah, I just want to try. I don't get seasick on those big boats. I want to be done in I'm going to be down at
The fourth of July week, if you want
come down. We go fishing every day, the blast on fourth of July. Your book, yet when I fry them coming back that saturday cause I'm going away.
I'm going to try to see if something like that tennessee too bad. You can't scrap that, because you'd come down and do a spot with me, I get you get your pay. Fishermen are you gonna want a boat yeah
Why get sick? Now you knew that damn mess it'd be fun to go yeah I got really fucking.
it'll be fun, you'll, be on that drama means a drink beer I drink beer saying we got a boat or have a beer. Every time
on the second? It doesn't bother me at all. I never to be hungry. I'm going to stop. I know
twenty right behind your school fucking irish. If you're good to me, closure who's right, wouldn't go Yaya. The fire erupts that what I dunno I'd hope. Not somebody fucking that
yeah. That's the one fear about when with having kids around is that you know already comes over and leave something here and I'm like. Are you gotta? Take that shit with you yeah right? You can't lie that shit. Yeah he's on a york man. I left good for him at his.
his battle that man there's a bamboo. Man is to integration, and here it is.
I think as a step backwards. But I'll tell you what look at
we still do his podcast is doing it out of new york. It's great! It's a different group comics that you don't get to hear yeah that, like you know, we all kind of
How can it
one out of the same pool and it's like it's great
As you know, the people, the listeners to no us and they love us, but it's like our got these new
over there and he's he's out of there.
we're but he'll be there for a while we're getting.
Over there who fuckin
hang out with different dude. He is
Joe, you say, or is the kind I'd like to go the club and hang out yeah yeah, and
do that at the seller fast. You I saw this year,
Listen! We all did at one time, but life moves on and this year, fifteen years ago, right now I'll be going to ralphie his house we're making bloody marys, yeah and fucking not eat we drink three bloody mary's. Ninety nine!
I can bloody marys. Did you guys live above each other like the same fucking built along with ricky cruz Ricky fucking? So I mean you know: mats yeah, heh, heh televise, the first time,
If you lived with me, you live with me for like three weeks because they towed your house told my fucking applies living in my car to your house thanks to its amazed, but it wasn't
your car whatsoever, the name guy and Amy,
so of the states, those funny how you know
Have all this time I tonight I was thinking about cocaine, sustainable. I was call for twenty seven years. How much fuckin time
an energy, better ways to put them. We offer them. We think about that.
six years were here, don't waste?
waste there was so much waste five years ago. My life my day had so much wasted
By going to mcdonald's, I write for like ten minutes and then I go to famous house and I smoke pot and go eat chinese food to hook up with ralphie and we get high and we got to eat sushi and by the time he got home a fucking four o'clock. You know you smoked eighty fucking joint, he didn't do shit. I did that for years
and sat in the night sitting or what the fuck is up with me. What the fuck yeah korea! Why am I doing this? You know and then,
all the things that we got plugged into doing the thing is I shoot
as for me, it's gonna get a sundance and those people, and even here there, those people move.
There really is now Minneapolis yeah, no shit, how people, how they came to l, a on bags and meanwhile was still flocking
yeah, we're still in the heart of weird, how much time and effort we threw away with people yeah like wasted people who are agents that are now gone
Mr Prodi, I it's just so fucking weird
when you, when you look, that's so crazy when you see like an agent or to assist
agent or someone you worked within their not even in the business and you wanna go see
never real this whole time that I was just a bullshit you're, a bullshit artist. You are someone who did not the fact they wanted, and I thought you
a guy, you fuckin, you fucking jerk
and you so that's my society with like we're in a society. That's really sad because it's like I saw I used to sell cars when I was twenty one
and I see these guys that would basically two days above a criminal
basically pieces of shit now they're make to us out
yes on cars, and now they were suspenders and make sure it's they would still go.
and do like shit like you'd, go what you make all this fucking money and it's the same thing with this business, why there are so many people that get
isn't it and make a ton of money and they don't even know what the fuck they're doing to be honest man, it's there's so many people that get into this business make a ton of money, don't even know what they're doing but they're so terrified they become counts. Yeah,
In fact, the veranda I didn't like it and it's like and its high- does he because they're scared and they got them
do it there, like. I made it
and once I feel it
it can happen again and they just become constantly like the man. It's like the blessing of
being of struggle- is that you like at one point. You start believing yourself. You like, I can fuckin do this,
and then one day you start doing restart make money. You start getting on the road. You start getting like people risk.
Imbue and you're like that's what I fucking thought like I'd hate to be one of these dudes. I don't know who the dudes are. I'm not
megan the name out of a hat on the sand like there are these people that, like the get
a success very early and they go to store headline amongst our panicking on, like I, gotta do fucking
I could write a new our the garbage.
Now my brow, put me on stage like that
right like come from transmissible, please I'm competent.
worry about it is going to happen. Is gonna, go down good I've been doing a long enough. I know what the fuck I'm doing here. You know something
hosting tv blood has been doing that for a while. But like me, you you, like you, know what
If a really good host, though bert I mean you really are. Thank you. I appreciate that rugby is amazing, the people,
run through and just all the shares isn't. A crazy people are fucking gone like the other day. Somebody mentioned a name to me Mitch, Hedberg, no, no certainly would
one, miserable boot. Somebody mentioned the name to me, but just a random comic, like oh Jesus Christ. I haven't heard that name in ten years and his roommate was like big talk. I forget the fucking guy's name is skids. Roommate was like a big time. Comic.
I really I go. What happens then? They go all probably got married and quit he's back in san francisco selling computer, where some of them, like it's amazing how many people pass through this year has just
Stepping stone, but he was too
This was everything like my friend came in for model.
I am. I realize some about myself,
for a long time. I just didn't want to face. I'm a fucking put a camera on my trip. I don't really have a life and I never really had a life I haven't had a life.
is I going to call me because it was such a loser when I got into com, like I tell people all the time
Why do you feel now that you some tickets or five
ass or whatever. I tell you know what it's hysterical for guide me, because
I just had nowhere else to go. I got spot at the store. I just went down because I felt that it uses
to do here. We are twenty five years later,
a weird fucking feeling very that sometimes
in a loser, has its advantages like in my case, I just said no words to go so I became a comic there.
Came, atomic all those other use. I was just on stage coffee eventually to twenty.
Is I figured out how to put two fucking jokes together?
It's amazing how its advantages to be a loser. Sometimes I can't
I you know, I feel very fortunate and very lucky. You know. Ralphie may have been friends a long time. Ralphie has been the emblem, will kill people around ralphie ralphie has been to jersey, where I grew up yet at my friends, Ralph has been to Ashworth. Delhi. Delhi was a great deli with great deli because the whole family.
I hooked on blow older brother was basically an imbecile. Gary Haskell was an imbecile and then there's the lump when he got hooked on coke and eighty
I. When cocaine was the biggest thing in this country he was free, basing he had just bought
his mother started out with a
the size of this and I can grow. It was amazing. Gonna go in there for lunch and have gone cocoa. You gotta help us load. Do you
it's because they use it'd be sold out like cases are you really all the kids that go on air for once they became millionaires, they became millionaires and they bought the whole block
then, what the liquor store that had the little machine ruin
It would just like you come in and they go. What do you got for coke, a gram and they go, go, take a bottle of dom perignon, but way before that. Eighty four, they just bought a liquor store
The brother was downstairs free basin cocaine when a crack by very basic and he put the towards down because he heard a noise. I went to see the noise, the torch fell
burn, the grocery store that we want the bar up. So why?
lot of people, don't know that they doctored up to five report to make it look like it was, but it was really like a fake carson like yeah, rebase and shit, so with these kids, one that blocked in that place just closed a year and a half ago.
A business route, they want the younger brother one. That was my it truly we're on fifty and I see light now the love and I love this. It would be
When tell people about the climate that I saw all his family that were spoil kids I seen Gary had when was it brother? I grew up with glamorous.
We'll fuckin kid when everybody else had a regular car, z, twenty eight and these
Its were hot, ask others thing hard
yeah pussy wagon, for the deli. He would talk about people and that's what this whole thing like. He would just talk bad about people and about what a dick in about seven years ago, he that was so fucked up on coke that there's a gas state
the gap across the street gladly younger ones house where he lived for fifteen years, we have put a mask on got a gun and walked across the street.
But I guess there's nothing like me to rob Marie
what a joke about in regos, Joey, mascot
joey arrest them for robbery. They fought and chased them out of the town.
It's really a sad fucking story. There I saw this family golfer. She was making for roast beefs a day
notice. His own sandwiches, you, the best animals. There was roast beef, I'm right wing,
Since I made a little butter salt pepper got. There was the only sound a bag,
Why is potato chips? Stop it am I
ass ways: rise, purring mamma has right, bully hash with loses out so strand a hair in the sand.
This is good news as your music you having get on me, you get a big.
well and there were Syrians yeah everybody thought they were italian, those years that was syria, really yeah atlanta, gary hash, where Gary laugh, people
a big say which make evenly haven't come back.
I have a pigeon is like a little fake bridger and his famous line was: would you like a complimentary pickle, so we're going ahead, torch and gary? Was the complimentary pickles shut, the fuck up yeah? It's amazing how you see life and karma yeah, you see where they started. Like wow. I can't believe that fucking happen with automatic mitch. Hedberg yeah mad thing that game that deal that changed him forever yeah. I know mitch before he went to new york me and mitch and Doug used to play tennis and write notes on the gardiner courts and then me and Mitchell walked in my house and the stripper. The tooth would make a sunday I'm really excited,
moving to that's the news that that ugly girl used to be with a really ugly girl for a really sweet girl, but she was no contest before the wife. He got the deal he dumped at sea as a mother fuck. He went to toronto. He met that heroin chick that was the beginning of the nfl. Those motherfuckers really
I've always I never even knew, and everyone will. I love Mitch yeah. I love mitchell elements.
Yeah these guys were. Having a great old time down in Houston, batman would stand out when nobody was eyeing the stand that he was still. He was already a king in Houston, yeah. They were doing that thing. These guys stand hope, did a podcast with Dorfman. Do you listen to it now? It's fucking good,
it's really good, which left me the boat, the brothers and yeah yeah. Both of them together is really good. I got a kick out of it. I got ten. Then, of course you know it's like you, tweet
I I'm the only do that, like I tweeted that I like the pod gas than a ruins,
Ask your sir, and I was like all you can say you like something
great, I dungeon
sitting do dazed consistently one of those guys.
Look at you like only here,
I want to hear some more of his stories. I wanna hear you know, he'll be allowed the
When I got hit, doesn't have a pen pal that was ten pro death row. He was on death row. He was in florida, yet nobody remembers. This shit is appropriate, he was and he blew up at kinko's and his girlfriend at the time was the chick from
with my thyssen's wife yeah, look ahead of the class robin we're ahead. He was dating a red hot, on the show up
He was probably given the became a scientologist now she's she's, so fucking hot. She was, I really am a crazy fuck, but she was doing drugs now. This is this is all
we'll show real soon he was getting violate. All these award shove. When my dad took the six would statue of this guy murder was rowing, took it throws a watchful and made everybody take a shower.
Told me at the gate was dive of yeah sure in all these celebrities take a picture
are you? Are you this serious real for israel?
still jack you know and all you fucking people that listen to us yet verdict great comic and ralphie, and your ideas and louis ck, and that's all fine and dandy. I'm talking about somebody who is in his bones. Yeah he's dead
We should all be. He doesn't give a fuck. He does not give a fuck when he got it, and I know that you guys a lot of guys look at Douglas you're a loser. I was a year
this by his own rules. We have done and if you really read the Lenny Bruce book, the first one
he's in jail and yet the elimination dog is living. None of us can we now added blow for ten years, and he bade me out when I put the coke rocketing,
was the one who has been doing crazy shit for real. What about
yeah show on fox, listen with noble
members is that he really had the first hidden camera shell
yeah, you know
Yeah I'd really are, and it was him going for pizza store died. The cat died. He just shaved, you finish, cooking a cat requests, a kind of shit they even have both. He was due
They know what to do with the limo drive to pick them up in his grandmother was dead, we're off at the morgue
one eye radiance at yeah yearly, pilots.
Are you fucking? Getting that stand? Stay hope is one of those for us. He lives it on the person he's still as that apartment
We want you to fuck a month. That still is. He still writes that he normally houses. He hasn't bisbee about ten. Nobody knows that. Did you know that yeah the houses sixty five thousand dollars every time he gets sixty thousand miles. He buys a new house. He has a house just for fucking cats. Did you know that pizza
it's. How was wow best thing I ever listened. I could sit here and tell you guys a bunch of shit. We all grew up with
we all see which apply.
on the sunset strip, that was pretty bad for man that read that read tat was pretty big. All of us have got to see one convict
alfie was probably careless. I don't know who was the alive that flipped us when I got to calmly I met ducks now, I'm one of the only guys that know stand offs at ninety one. I was a house and see what
to come through the asked him in and ninety three the trouble runs with tuesday yeah bold yeah wednesday. You were off five dollars. So if I like the feature at its establishment
because wednesday, you often thursday was gregg friday.
with donaldson and sadly was colorado's ways, a fucking good. My memory
holy shit stand up would come every year. I stay on my couch and then
number have still get moving at the improv, but then he won the san francisco comic opera. This very banker at night they wanted they stole his car. They broke into a party won it with a third three thou suited.
what the fuck very interesting work is living in a spot of car. What was near, he part of Europe that are suffering he kept, that forget caught the supreme we kept them, how the fuck even aptly one and what the real, which I got code
the fucking white widely dogs diana, was a very interesting, but I'm gonna, copper. You know this motherfucker lives of his car just became the best comedian.
You could be, but it wasn't till I saw him do alive, show in seattle, Washington, Jonah,
I decide that I went home and I have no problem telling you guys that I cried myself to sleep.
because that was the first time I really had to think about my life. I was it was nineteen. Ninety five
I was proud. Leah
two years old. I would get.
In the four years I was maybe
probation parole a year, and I want
His comedy- and I was like what am I gonna do,
there's no one. Never let it be like that
see I doggie d and ninety five done was that as my country in nice
five. We are mainly as humble as bird flu bilbao, real
I mean he was a real lock of people and telling them hey you fucked up, you didn't hear the fuckin pussy joke or the vagina joke one time in Boston. How about that
closer with the beer with the beer and all on the place to come on
shut the fuck up, fucking, hot and shaken and delight
A porno comes out I'll, never know if it was, and he shook beer up on his face and it was
greatest closer I've ever safe, ruined greatest cause of our time standing ovation.
every year in macedonia showcase at the umbrella yeah. They will let him out
in what direction
the show is. I was too strong really would ask com
see. That's one. Apl was rock ninety five. Ninety six, there
that's when they passed on me, they were less than this is until you, through
really he was that good he was, he was. He was walking rooms at the improbable, accomplish again pissed off ninety seven. Ninety eight he was,
drawing this time. They could. There was still
The mayor's nice need even at the improper knows he signed with the manager, the improbable. He saw a man
models, wife, so
had never seen, the light of the cap would remind really amazing it was a nice guy.
shit faced jock and fuckin bullets glaucoma dog, really,
because they had never seen that style style wasn't even existed. Heating.
talk to anybody coming in and talking with me and joey that you want to talk normally with auditions, really fucking coffee and cigarettes and ride every day, yeah right right over every at ten thirty and I'd stop I'd go
will pass and get the seven seven eleven coffee force bangles, you like beggars, store next door, so
It was a little russian market right there and bring them over and we'd write jokes for two hours. He helped form my whole act and got me to talk about my voice and who,
I was estimated forgot ever gotten to no dog you
the only I is great
If we ever make christmas sweetheart me Chris, Maguire and Doug
love. Chrissy great, weaken this club. Fifty six in boston result.
Real. Fifty six, the guide three clubs. He had that one and andover he the actual action,
was the which was
these restaurant
the widest trash airy you ever really with drink, though zombies yeah. I did it with breakdowns. Tony v, I do
ray come tony v one. We I deal with sound with me: stand
chris Maguire and the first know either
he was brilliant, but the second night the guy was a jewish guy. I was
stone cold you with the fifty six he had
economy was gone out for you. What a feature at you made great money because
you hosted the eight o clock. Show the ten o clock show another ten o clock show in the back room, plus you hosted
Tina Tommy's weather
Oh yeah, they had three rooms at this place. Lobster fucking guy was great. The only thing about the guy he paid. You will check you to get the check before
weeks. Yeah. You always knew you gotta check on me. So it's me dog and they're doing we did they sold enough tickets were in the big room for the eight o'clock show the ten o'clock show. We didn't do that good, so they put us in a little room and they put the x ray the hypnotist in the bedroom and the and the fucking tina
these wedding, as in the back room behind us territories, wedding is empty.
The guy goes up. He does what he does.
I go up by bob. Stay
oh stop there, and these up there
this rule. Ninety three rule, fifty six did not lie dirty com. If you like me, because we need to tell you
if the jew jokes- that he told me the greatest job of all time was- I tell you later, but he liked he didn't like dirty. It just didn't work for him. He called me
what's it was. I went the montreal two years ago, and I see this gave a little white comic. That really made me laugh because he was making araby uncomfortable and I go. Doug stand
that's because I want to hire him. I don't care what he does. I want them for me. He goes get them for me. Whatever he cost. I just want him and he was loved as a bag dying, stand up,
it's up there being dirty and all of a sudden, I see a priest coming out of the corner like there was four of them.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, so he kept walking and standards on stage draw and heat and also the corner of his drunk guy. He looks over. He sees the preschools Padre
fuck you going right and that priest terrorism looks like, and he goes what the fuck you going. I gotta go. He goes.
Leave where you going. He I got a tesla jugs as a blow you
it sucks that the boss is why we Catholics rose lee chris Maguire, one of the club or the bad guy is going to blow your socks off that giving each other arm to arm whatever the ark is dead. It was gone his body. This is how funny he was at this time. He'd always say one thing
even if he was bombed, yeah want one
fucking his recovery lisbon law? Some of his point that when I was a gay comic, the real flame and gay,
I would say he has a wig and he fights to get off and he shaves his head. Oh, I heard him interviewed on maryland's podcast. I know you're talking about Jim J.
Jim table,
He died about night stand
the audience at the dublin
sudan who looks at me this is fucking faggot ear.
then one day the thirteen minutes moments tat. He kept a bow the week before
It was an davy fly at darklings. First rule
uncle funny is honest and he goes. He was in the room the week before that guy was in the car.
But he sleep on his bed and he goes I'm in his bed. Thinking about how many confused kids, he taught that panic is right there and he's just going with it. Yeah
sit down. I thought to myself
fused kid that this guy talk and the second is declares he's a fucking family. He just went. Oh no is that jake?
in gas J said Jane, said: jason said: yes moving
the thoughts and bid really happen
I will add economies. That issue I was there and David TAT.
In the firearms stand up on the stand with real brilliant taleb was away Monday night.
and there was a lesbian that was up before me-
Does this give a garbage ideas even of a lesbian aids? Is the right rather possessed my hat? Looking lesbian, that's all
well old school lesbian. That brings a cock pump to a softball game yeah. I dunno what that means.
Well he's so fucking funny when a hack, oh man, I'm fuckin, like I want to I haven't seen him- do stand up just what I appreciate about saddam hussein up into in l a a few times like when I was young, he don't care yates, and it was it was it was. It was yeah. It's
not everybody me tat. I saw doggie doggie show
made it there's no boundaries and that's what he did.
are my eyes to the truth that there's no boundaries in comedy can talk about anything fuck. It can't take a joke, take a cab. It was that type of
mentality. You know he he had a big influence on my career. He had a big influence. You know I mean I wish I'd seen him more. When I was young, I know he was the tells favorite. Then he got me a favorite comic that he got me. A free apartment, Matt Becker was in alaska and
I stay ass day for a year and the apartment rent free and then I got to start a pan writ
They like now away about it and then began fatherland.
The furniture paid the remit heard them.
but I didn't cause John wesley ran it
No,
and then I got to yell that and I just paid rent. It was like five hundred a month, but it was perfect. It was fully furnished. I'd have shit to bring separate tv. The computer was
and men and never placed his hand, man. It was a great while gardener
the careless everybody move it in
if there are heard-
I had interesting
history was dug,
I'd, say interesting out, he Biden remembered and even at all, maybe does but like I was,
close to the one we
at show. He was wanted, comics, attested
for it was Scott Henry him myself and terry valentine.
And, and they they passed on him, and it took me instead, him
like some young com account in new york and and and so they
to the improv one night, and he was doing this is doing enough rant on on young fresh face
comics that come out to l a and- and it was basically about me and I'm in the back of the room with gary valentine and jerry's laughing hysterically. I guess I think he's talking about you two and then he just fucking sets his gaze over on our corner and he goes. I know you're here and I'm like fuck, so we leave and I'm mike,
So funny like you so funny, and a single natural hit a glass of wine. It was in an and I was, like god, the guy
really fucking great on the might like just talking, and so
I got it. I didn't, I didn't think I entered
myself. I laughed never run into him and then one night, I'm in
Sacramento and I'd I'd gun of one out
Even the road knows. I forget this is what I am.
doings, I'm a comic and it was the first
night that I realized. Oh fuck. This could be a very long journey like us like this is
this, I'm still young it headline in an eye,
I feel, like I'm fuckin, I'm depressed
Empty I'm on the road, a missing my family, and I just one of those things before twitter before primacy
around, but I took a stab in the dark.
I was, I was on doug website and I emailed them
Hey man of your memory, monies bert I,
No, you know the road long time and on the road right now- and I just want to know like this-
All these things are feeling like this. Normal is a site, but the roads. I can do you know anything
you could say there can be no whatever literally ten minutes later.
tell us, Aragon, email back, also welcome! Welcome to the quickening.
Baby boy. I will, I will keep you posted just
nor it is what the roads like enjoy it. This is part of the business, cried
For me, let's keep in touch
two days later, email me goes how's everything
beauty, by like just any just kept up, get email me and it was like the funniest like I get this emails and it was like
fuck it maybe maybe like it makes you enjoy the road when you go not only one hour here go in fact, this is yet another
The fucking friday morning is an oppressed morning because I still have two days laughter. You know like yeah, like oh fuck, you know I fuckin. I get a kick out of that guy. I got to see the world celebrate going to do it the weight without them. In the back of my mind, I always thought you had to have something you really don't improve, just just about being the funniest guy, yes, yeah the best, the best for you and all that that's great. The best team took it and turned around with the busy he's the mayor of fucking, bisbee,
which he loves. He has these gypsies around the crazy yeah. He does any drug. He lives by no rules, no rules, it goes across. The boring, gets xanax buy the big ass jug,
here he's got one of my favorite stories. One of my favorite. I am.
is one of those times on thy nope
I want to make this is of good. This is egg epoch, in my opinion, for a comical epic heed
Does a gig, oven miami steve vinos featuring for me, but Steve brought his own feature so there
His one host, but we already had owes me ricky crews, DJ coochie, DJ coach, DJ coach dejected.
These are good steve tribunal and me, I'm closing the shouts fork, fuckin comics steve to forty five armed
four, is a nightmare, set a bombed every fortnight and I'm just like
mike and bombing, and, unlike looking for some solace in bombing- and I see on Doug's website
play it letter. I read the complete letter. This is
actually all went the complete letters. First, please
the complete letter before you read my spots: slurry, the complete letter demons
stand. Hope I am completely in entirely import upon.
by your by the comedy presented the evening of february. Nineteen that I wasn't.
Crowded with my husband and we have healthy sets of humours. We find it da dot, dot, dot
seinfeld friends. We find all this hysterical, however,
your presentation of sub
matter and the way
he presented. It was appalling, you're, intoxicate
If we don't find the aids funny, we don't find nine eleven funny. You don't find race humor funny. We don't find rape funny and I have to tell you that I will file a complaint and he said he wrote back. I couldn't agree with you more
that evening. When I got to the club and I received the script for the evening, I was appalled by the
Cyril. They presented me with, however, being
if a comic, I guess I performed the material the club requested me to perform
I guess you have you blades. Please notify the club that the material there writing for the
I'm still warm is completely inappropriate. Next letter
new. It couldn't be you
how dare they out there. They are ready the boat with better business bureau.
The best like you, too,
that woman was so fucking stupid. Then he broke
if you're going. I when I got the script from the club with last night's show. I was appalled to, I don't find any of those jokes funny, but I had to do them.
As I need to give aid are wonderful,
interesting guy, I texted the lessons at last time. Using time I was like. I was like one of the few to my podcast he's like yeah, I'm only into
day next extra momentum bag. It I get knows from
for an instant guidelines. May one day he hath an impossible choice, we're home what savages homey look around
I just came in. He was making out my mother
It was not. I know you weren't, but that's what he said to me. He was playing a trick on me. Guys got out, we find ralphie
wait. I was I just came measures. Make it out with my mother is all about
they ran out of their users, is dead. Various cod,
We have an excellent job.
By the year must see once should meet his mother. You understand his name was,
aka from the fifties. She had gotten the fake tits in the fifties when they were hard, they were like fucking concrete. They just ripped your skin open. An italian guy came a book, concrete yeah and when she moved up here, she moved up from florida. He had to pay for everything really, so he got her own apartment before she moved to
and there she was saving cats. Have that ugliest, fucking Cassius.
Everything element rodya boy,
was doubting unaware year high, so finally
Well, the died. She puts a you put the
its able had awake for it right cats who sit around and the one castles in the air.
I definitely at the I give it our full attention
Like others, I want true stories. I mean he's one of those guys. Katy Anderson use a legendary, yet
love realities and knows that gaping amazon scene it the best was he found conky flocked to check bill mars, bed
bill noise for the July body circuit,
in seventy eight bill Maher through the mall, was flirting with the amazing jake stan open in there, then we took the check from bill Maher, but factor on bill Maher's bed bill Maher, made Doug stanhope write an apology letter apologising to them showing those days in the afternoon. The big thing was: all of us would hang out me that, like to smoke dope and take a ride to CBS and we'd, go to wash or watch politically incorrect,
makes a yeah anderson role for them may mitch and dug, which should, over and every day after every show they give you a common cause.
Who do you want to see on the show we'd fucking filament, with doug stanhope? We get tons of them and put Doug stanhope, one of them put them in bill Maher's box.
So, each time you open that box that so now you want to see them. What the fucking fuck the bitch on my bed, he didn't fuck around the betty took a shower with it and bill Maher's house. I still think if you're having a
I you here is the hottest
and also you hit on Joey comment takes the jake, but for this
well easy eat, her fuckin and shower shut,
and he had
Apology, letter bill. My shall why
man. You know you're still talk about what he did. You gonna talk about what you did dublin's
it at night you bombed and seven minutes. You got no footman. Alas, zero lives.
zero, fucking, fuckin, elastic every job guy at a will cook coke and put a coke rock and how fucking, pussy and eight hook, and they had cameras in the liquor rooms like quarters. So the bounces came down.
Now in the meantime that I meet her snatch? I put the eight ball when they come in. I got the eight ball miam coke rocks in the pussy and I'm milliken her pussy.
I got her a ball in my hand. I fold it and I put it in my sock when they come in and they're like we already contacted the police are on their way the police come and walk outside.
So they walk me outside the girl starch cry. The guy that was
you know those guys. I always hangs out with three girls yeah, you dear what long hair
he's one of those things I like. What you do to do. Nothing dog would talk me a fucking snatch. I asked if she wanted a coke rock in it. I put a coke rock and a pussy, the fucking hindu and the three fucking black
exclaiming that sit there waiting for the fucking cops to come with his apron, I'm not giving it up lama taken out with my suck.
And you're leaving out of the you. You must have for three hundred lighted mug. Somebody gave me a hundred bucks or so now
I was flat broke one I wanted to, but
but the appalling myself. It's nine o clock at night with that
by sending jerome work out what the what the fuck is going on
security over here call the cops, because I put an eight ball of coke rocker chicks pussy in there laughing
and Joseph were going. I take, I think, they're going take me, lay county jail and often
Those were his money call me when they take it down, and let me know if you ask me the yeah, so he gives me an allowance.
turns its back on me. Look at this,
said, who I see come from. We argue the all man
roughly may,
at this time, we're all going to cross the street like he owns the joint. He comes up and I go graphic. Go get it.
I they sat upstairs up stairs danko your data yourself, you'll get the fucking car just look at the car
I fucking ran across the street. I water, my fat ass over, got the fucking truck the old red fucking yeah for run that mother fucker that came through for us a thousand times thousand times he pulls up and as I get in the fucking car, I can see the cop car behind me the lights on
and I get lever ralphie and I go on. I got the eight boyle one hundred Joe gave me I'm going home and it's not even ten o'clock
was better than me fucking get arrested. Then I get arrested. I was a getaway yeah. We took back streets
for this. I way that, in the light of that goal,
I was always banned that room after the turbans. The explicit.
so fucking funny you bomb to it was important.
There may also those night where I was
those who fuckin tremendous shows up their yeah, I'm alone.
So Bowden was there was a lot of people going up. Oh, I remember I remember I remember going up there around that time, like pork pie after that time, but going up there and being like months just
rhythm, mars is art and you get us.
I get a spot might be like fuck.
I will go what's in me day kirk,
mitch, mulvaney alonzo bone every night would crush it in the last spot crash at times.
the audience he didn't, but a fuck. I was the awards
seems like chewy, but Bobby Lee know the the mexican do, who
ass, coming fully bus, brunswick, yeah,
I saw him on last days. One night and I went goddamn he's funny mother fucking funny he made me laugh so fucking hard.
Malaria is amazing in those days like the rooms
instead of dealing with bond we'd, never go back from one time in a room, and I don't care what you paid me. It's not going to work right! Yeah. It took me years to go back to nashville. I went to nashville one time with doug staying home on a wednesday night,
Can I just it was the longest thirty minutes of my life. I said I'll, never gotten as well as the longest turn out that, even now your rock in a national better because he went up and he lost. The message was really that we were still to bible
British yeah not anymore. I am now they were requested, yeah, that that was a little bit too bible about the euro,
in those days there was a public blog, the still around rate of entertainment, yeah beguine allow charlotte yet risen.
It was what he used to have from date. Brian have fun and carefully
stay here. Herod thought there was a big rooms on that side. We are on the side of a country with triple a b and taxes, but on the east coast it was
rail freight in everything, from new york to the bahamas, really bad way.
Virginia, they had all
it's gotta see if they have a spot in the fucking and they paid two twenty five for the headline of one. Seventy five vj that he fucked around. Well, I remember I did I did clock. I didn't. I did that I did knoxville tennessee with vinny cupola. My my manager at the time was worked for creative. They headlined me. I was in no danger headline and I walk into knoxville, which
My favorite cities in the world. They are the best wreckage stores in the fucking huh yeah man. What it really find anything you want anything fuck you, maybe I go with the fuckin I get to the first show is eleven people.
One is but there's a girl in that audience that could destroy anybody on tv today. Really his girl was amazing. Here's the funny thing she was attacked in nashville
she was in tennessee, so she didn't know it. Nobody ever.
Although she was this girl, no one ever told her. She was a daughter. She was a fucking, savage, yeah or shared with step on sunset for five minutes. Our car would brash or like that's how good look at the girl was natural yeah and she was a loser of a husband, a loser, and it was her twenty first birthday on nineteenth birthday and there was nobody there on top until the orders.
I'll, try to kill forty five minutes. I got twenty l, a material that you lose twelve once you manage to get up on the stage or I'm dying. There's eleven people, this girl's. Talking about how it's my birthday and my husband got two people to fuck me tonight:
So I got money to go out and I might talk about this again and she goes yeah, my husband on on fight nights like boxing night. He will invite all his friends of an fucker for money while they were watching boxing in the liberal. All this got crazy. She had a he had a truck. He had a mattress in the back of the truck. She would come to his work and suck on fridays.
in fact the other construction workers, and he was her pimp, so she's thomas wally stories and this girl does not know she's, amazing and she's.
The soil is not the first showings there's two shows I go back to my room to smoke, but I go upstairs. I smoke the pot when I walked out she's gonna woman's battle.
I look like oh my gosh cause. She was so funny, I'm going to stay for the second show I go on
stories, sure she goes on my god. I suck at least three dicks a day.
She goes to. I made a whole seventy five dollars and I'm looking at this going on. Would you suck my dick she's like sure she takes me in the bathroom? Shows me a pussy. It's gorgeous sucks, my dick. I eat a pussy. I think your asshole your whole day.
It does it drives me a dime yeah nah. Now what are you going to overt? I can show if you're willing or just over budget on the second show she's drinking she's, getting him looking at her all very cupolas on
as he's get angry and angry and she's one,
I look at Vinnie very I'm.
I've read them and ten minutes
but this bitch yells. I suck this dick in between shows, and I was like what are you talking, tigers, video? How dare you she's, like I sucked the convenience thing and I'm like? No, she didn't she's, like as I did, and I swallowed your cum and, like the
he's call the blue collar pulling your husband's ignobly. Don't want nobody. I want my forty hours,
this went on for an hour me onstage stage guys she did not suffer
digg is a user wallet. That's an actual
Now you ve got. It was so crazy. I couldn't take that divide.
really they paid me. Savvee can call back right. Impasse is forty thousand dollars. It came in my why members sit at the bar.
I argue with the manager till two in the morning on now that you don't understand he came and my wife's mouth as premium payment is,
walmart wanted that's for the blow job and pointed to common. A mouth is, don't raises ever see they care by their lifecycle. Nobody's they look at me. I was forget the twenty or so that come are taken.
Now go not yeah forty dollars of the family.
fuck him pay understand. I'm never going
knoxville again until his never never tommy the ragged play that bad happened angry at the snapped and he don't give a fuck all cared about- was the
these zones is dirty eyes. What has come out of our past sixteen hours right now, one mass rape, old gentleman.
But in those two and a half hour, PA gas really was one of the more
Yes, it really yeah. We we not. I got a birthday I'm going to unwrap, presents in the morning for a birthday, because the way unwrap presents for a birthday girl's wall- oh yeah,
you guys got anything to promote. Well, I've got a it's called the perfect ten podcast ass.
I've lotta, I wanna have you guys on it, loaded with others, some crazy shit.
And maybe motives for that.
stuff over their married man- we're Eli workers who spoke here was the
let's do it and we got some stories to tell stuff like that. Maybe go do some arts and crafts class with me and coco okay might go make plates or something with our baby's saliva gets accuracy. Truth
I like a book. You should take what I do deaf, but my fucking problem anyways. So I've got the
I that is the record of my six special motherfucker ralphie,
your mother fucker man to ours,
going be I dunno releasing one friday friar my release,
as both la la la man, I'm happy to be off. I got dates in nashville, knoxville nashville.
Caroline on a lot of national dates.
I am basically off man offensive.
It's a long ride. What I'll do is get on my bus and just go. Do a one nighter, you know, and the buses also. Will this fucking agreement I'd I'd hop on the bus with you phone
harpy how a gang of their doing harpy whenever amphilochian seal off a vine, this the people,
I fucking, go shut up and do
We can? Oh, yes, no. What was I going to say? I want to have you back man? I want wanted, there's a lot of stuff I'd love to talk to you about that. I'd fucking that
and I the driver, then, let's see you we so this podcast fun
the fuck. Are you on
you gotta learn how to fucking short in europe you're. The only person on twitter that uses twit
stand on everything
every time I tweet a man. I see your thing and I go with the fact that everyone else right. So I have to go back and log on
site and read what they said. Dia says a dick d
come on I'll fire was the fake,
diversity of me, the storm Jesus. I saw that
a sort of areas I was like
Jesus Christ though,
it really knows man that really is crazy. That was fucking insane crazy joey. What are you going to promote anything that I got Utah next week? I got lexington Kentucky the week after I got to San jose in the last week of her
Alright, man, I'm going to go to bed and wake up around presence. I'm going to finish couple of beers, maybe appreciate you guys coming back
We live great. I love you guys, a love
Love haven't real friends in this business. This far this is, I mean I, I the.
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Transcript generated on 2023-07-27.