A coach you wanted to see me. I just want to let you know we're gone with geico for next week's game. Geico as our starting point guard geiger, really delta version, the college with over eighty five years, a great claim service right when customers need it most coach, geico, isn't a basketball player. It's an insurance company. I just feel like I go, gives us our best chance to win. Are you serious way thanks? Jab knew you'd understand, but a choice. You can always rely on gotta, geico, dot, com, guy The time we ve waited for is finally here tomorrow February first, my wifely and crisis podcast why the party comes out across all platforms find it rate review. And subscribe. I love her more than I love anything in this world and if you love me, you will do me a solid and give her paw ghastly shot. My wife podcast. Why for the party is out February first thursday

I hope you enjoy it hey guys brand new podcast, whoa, whoa whoa, it's a good one. I wanted to have sean patton on my podcast for a very long time to sean pattern. Shop was a guy that just left that you missed yeah. I well duh. That's why I'm asking from patents the comedian born in north new orleans, and I thought it very new orleans new orleans new orleans new orleans. I thought Well, considering all the hateful things my friend Tom Segura said about Louisiana, I thought that it was only fitting to let them speak their side of the case just kidding. I see a dog about as ridiculous that ridiculous that anyone get upset by and by the way Tom sort out to theatre nights, he's gonna do a string of knights and orleans sick fuck him months outlays authority sold out so you have shown is from new orleans That's allay early then moved out in new york, but he's one of the guys.

that I saw I saw my timing. I talk to him about this on the progress tab it s The montreal a few years ago, and I goes a little lost and stand up at the time. I don't know my place, and stand up. I know what I was doing, an I saw him on Orisha of your storytelling show and he was so fucking engaging like you. you he drew you in the second, he started talking, sought a great comedian such an amazing performer. We really embodies a lot of What new orleans is about that bigger than life. personality that larger than life personality be really does fellow room when he comes in it. Let's go, and I would say that I was blown away by him when I first saw him and I've been five became friends of them and I started hanging out with them when we do I suppose you we'd be in the same city. We gotta drank and a cocktail anna socially side, a motorbike us all sound near me. I will talk about him. Barely a little bit more had only know, I'm so no no, I mean, but the end of the park

Ladies and gentlemen, it is bad, but I will we have a great with great. conversation about joining boot camp boot, camp yeah like for working out nope, for when I mean for the marine, whose joining boot camp for the marines, he is a bull fear. Tom segura are not j, o shaggy, gerson and mark normand joe list. I think Dano rollins, maybe or or possibly them. What? Where did you come up with this list of people just coming up with a right now bike, toying with no but wait. You ve already talking to people, you ve gone I'll. Just said a text to everyone. Ask you with their joint boot camp with me. like eight weeks. How long is it three weeks to the bridge it's only three weeks. Three weeks we go to paris island and we lived together for three to five Filming this is a little vow to try to solve two networks. walter who lose out the someone right,

and do do an entire season unless someone hears this and totally steals at, how are they going to get the fucking comics. a prominent. Oh, I came up with the idea that just texts that everyone, and they can do with other comics but They'Re- not gonna, be as good mean. Do you think of it comics would really do that. And here's the deal yeah, whether it's it's a little more complicated than that. Okay. Why? But I mean, because it's going to cost a lot of money because you're going to ask everyone to be off the road for three weeks, yeah exactly but yeah I mean, I think I think rob most of us, two places where were either in the beginning of a very interesting career in the middle of a very interesting career or a little bit in a minute mid life crisis ass, the interesting part of your career, but none of us are not list but No, it will be a really interesting thing too watch us all kind of lose our ego and lose our humility, and not we're guys at all make decisions we decide what we do and freedom taken away from us to watch that fucking.

I happen to know if you would make it through boot camp because for a little physical would know not because the physical stuff, but because of the compliance are behind, Toby, all tell him we're through by the way, every single person idle. Yes named as a hard time. You'll hear just talk about this more in the podcast, okay good, but it's very interesting yeah, but I I just texted my managers and agents and tried to see if they could set up a quick pit. so we could sell it Ghali's guys, go in and get to boot cap and then next, the next the next season. When we talk about this on the progress report, we have planned out all five seasons. I do one time alone, space, so one time, one, not another. Northern, didn't you go into space this programme, is brought to you by ziprecruiter. Hiring every business needs great people and a better way to find them thing better than posting your jobs online and just praying for the right people to see it The procurator knew there was smart, smarter way to is so. They built a platform that finds the right.

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the smartest way to hire gonna love that red either something really beautiful about when they tell you him in this. The things we like going to talk about some reach, a little harder for me yeah, are they like like when we I love like I'll, a very easy one. That is for me because you're here, I would have a very hard time doing this read cause I'm gonna talk about this party has brought you buy square space yup. I love where's, but I know you do to build my own website tomorrow, really yeah for my by gas on square space, really yeah, I'm gonna build it tomorrow. When you called comes out one thursday but what I will say that again towards the agonized hurried just saint, just so that people into more nervous. So tell me about building the website. You are not technologically advanced. I am. I am not technologically advanced the opposite of that? I don't have a twitter- that I write.

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tonight to labor is also wants to this progress. Look I don't even really need to do this right now. You know exactly what the product this is. My maybe kay Is our lives, upstate I'll, say if you're listening for the first time, I will tell you right now: it has changed our lives. We I'm on the road a lot. So my three days home or four days home, are important me and I try to criminal law and its hard, charged girls have homework the girls a piano? The girls play tennis, the girls do softball and I'm due pod gas, it reads complicated the. Why in time. We guarantee we are together, is we sit down, need a blue apron. Yeah I've talked blue apron ad nauseam to the point or stand. Hope mocks me about it, but I love it because it is fair. Tacit meals, fresh cheap when I say cheap. I mean every meals under ten dollars per person and their delivered right, your door and you can make them an under forty five minutes or less and you. I then

sit down with your entire family and have a great dinner and their delicious and there absolutely delicious. You don't have to think about what you're doing for dinner. You don't you think, bout. It that's the best. The big draw for me is that I'm don't even I know, I have two meals. A week covered leann will come out of the garage. We got short rib burgers with a hobby cheddar sauce on a pretzel bond. Either that or seared steak and type and sauce with mashed potatoes, green means and crispy shallots. I can make it all under forty five minutes without a trip to the grocery store. Did you know. that beard, and then I go no. She goes. Oh yeah. It came from blue apron, the number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery areas in the country ago seriously and she's like yeah. You do know their mission to make incredible home, cooked meals accessible for everyone. I'm like get the fuck out. I just now they achieve this by supporting more sustainable food systems, setting the highest standards for ingredients and building a community jobs will not get poverty broken meals, holy fuck emails, you ve got glaston bird, they offered

We feel male plans to parson I plan a family meal plan and a wine meal plan get the fuck outta here. Do you like this character thing I'm doing yeah? She do. Oddly has no southern accent, so I got diamond bird. They got mails that serve to people too for my worse booth, brow. Wake amazes me: raspberries with the job to receive either two or three raspberries any wake. My anger, no squirrel iraqi. Now, I know best guess where our gravy now or you could, the Babylon meal blair and you know what we got: barely boyfriend and god meals. It's our poor people just do border ass busy each week with joy. There was, I do three or four areas be then weak or you can do the work plan, You know we call them.

SK ban homemade, why lousy land from were now. Why makers, ever monthly. Just after we get the cheque from state make sure we were. That was bad It really shitty, hey varietal! I was frightened and that action, because this, marking? This is really truly something we believe and we didn't family meal plan and we get any recipes every week, if you're so go person try to two percent milk when one then make one for lunch there, healthy and and and their fresh and the the only major their delicious. We love it. we're not ten wars. Oh, I don't know about that, but is definitely a great way to have a of wonderful meal every twice a week. yeah without it we literally sit down. Start a blue apron and say for somebody growth think about it and they re honest. Only

handful at times there were suddenly it's not my favorite, not many, not many. By the way. I ever sat on what I hear what I said last night, what the blue apron burger make your berger that was dead. I would want Labour makes us I got and then I was like maybe I'll see you there. Cheese she's like now you're doing all this because they further bans those that what it is they scale and rather binding, because I didn't know- share that question time just now over whose do matter examples: vernal, arab, hey, here's the deal Their high quality, their flexible, their convenient lots of variety related. well and real. Oh, that's! My style exposed to use. I think already done that. The call to action is this: blue, ever is treating burke ass losers thirty hours off your first order. If you A blue apron dot com, slash cast so check out this week's menu and get thirty dollars Off blue apron at blue apron, dotcom, slash, bert, cast blue in a better way to cook. Here's the deal, here's, what we got

coming up you ready soil, is korean rice, cakes with broccoli and soft boiled egg Are you shitting me? How can I tell you something boy apron? I will now how to make us know how to make a soft boiled egg I've been room, I've been doing it so poorly because all the dim, of different people tell yet it make a different ways: online, blue, evermore also makes up all their yeah right. Yeah me making ten of those. cream, fu slaney boost scotty white bacardi, bokassa, with fraud rosemary want us that looks really good, he's silly pasta. That's it spice chicken and stir fried vegetables with jasmine rice, haha, and then this one's strip steak with potatoes and spicy maple hollered green nah, nah nah. Now, thank you sincerely for the bottom of my heart to all our sponsors.

All of our sponsors have affected us in one way or another, and it's made my life so much easier and we really have sponsors that we really use yeah. We don't fuck simply, and we have some sponsors coming down the line too. There are no bad really funny assets and towards aids I mean charlotte, that's what I want you to go to charlotte north carolina at the comedy zone February fifteenth, the seventeenth, I think, just added the crow foot lounge in detroit pontiac misgives bribery. Eighth, indian apple, ass, the ninth and tenth. and an that's it and then find me a march I'll. Tell you more about this. A march turnover bird dot com and by a t, shirt, hoodie, beanie pollster there. By the way, big announcement and I've set an earlier I'll, say it again, lee podcast. Why for the party comes out tomorrow, please check it out loud its podcast. Why for the party come Moreover, the over Siberia first check it out, download it ray,

and review subscribe. That makes you know that not only am ray review and subscribe. Please that makes me really nervous, no liane rate review and subscribed by the way, just giver five stars and just be like I'd just be like. Oh my god, I could barely understand her accent. Sat at sandy's on yeah, that's going to be insane to fry, so the ants podcast wait for the party comes out tomorrow on itunes on laughable across all out forms subscribe rate and review. Ladies and gentlemen, today's guest sean patent. Yeah it's all. The lumber was reclaimed enough.

And we could have never afforded it. We can never afford this man cave it was a. It was such a blessing. The day after it was built, I had done leno I flew out or letterman. I flew out to do letterman Actually, it was finished. On a wednesday. I went out and recorded an episode of a tv show on David thursday and then flew out to new york and did letterman on friday and came back saturday morning, and I was having coffee in here with the letterman cup that I'd used- and I thought this light- I'm lucky guy in the world, you're you're waiting for someone to come in and go alright. That's your time get out. Travel channel called that night instead of the tv show being cancelled. I feel you if that affected you, It seems to have gotten over it so funny that they ended up giving me a deal right after that, and then I shot four more years of travel channel and then they ended up picking up. Show that they had cancelled or like. We want to do more of them and they did more of them, and we did another season of that and then and then they fired me for real or not

okay. So you only got you got good bad news, so yeah go yeah, yeah now, seven years of the network, seven years or so watch em and they say the best placed to receive news of any kind is a barn like setting the woods. Soaked in your excitement or your pain or year exasperations or you're. We generally would be cool. If you could. smoke, sums have been go on rwanda, lately I just started marguerite again as a means of them know it. I got a because of our europe Oh, no, oh, how very ill of anthrax tell me about veil. Did you noakes a few things a if you look look on my instagram or our instagram. You see what he was wearing here. Where did you get lemme guess, shyness d, I'm island, he text deed, tweeted, some shit, before you kicked off twitter, which, by the way, patently is all your fault.

I'll be right. There s a lot of problems right. There are really the other problems. Can we can we throw him into the pool? I'm saving them are a very special promo. No, but yet he for those you dont know Gary. Ok, always a child he's a fucking child. and so he travels child he's a forty five year old man, He travels like he's, staying at a hostel youthful exuberance with a receding, hairline, barn, asia and shit yeah, and so he travels with a backpack and one pair of shoes. Three pairs of sharks, one pair of pants, one pair of shorts or bathing suit to chi t shirt. It's very, we usually funny is doing all the shows with him in denver bright for rail ice, the kind of sea, the spectrum of art, the irish. If your fan base its great because there either like it, I thought can be- for bohemians. Man is looking for the right wavelength

live this life on or their like starting over. You know to me: it's starting over judge drop. The charges are see my kids now once a month, and I just want to new outlook on life, and your stories made me realize that role human brother here some five years, a pc, p r- is it it's funny, because I would argue that are a tom myself all share the same fanbase so then yeah, maybe except there are overlapping, were like. I will have fans come up to me and they're like him in I really don't or semi allegory yo r. U s ears, like he's a hateful human being! Can I go because he does duff that yeah you're evokes like you like honour on veterans day, he posted a video, picture of marines. Torching, a vietnamese villages. I thank you for your service, exactly loves doing that. She needs to stoke. He needs to four quote stoke, the fire you will and then arms fans are not their loyal to a fault

like their loyal to like, like I always say that Tom's fans, the ones who started the bird, is fat campaign and I've met them and there the guy that set up bert burnt, chrysler bert crumbles, whatever they call me a fake web pages and then assault me all day. Long love, and then there like we're best friends right like you are you hurt my feelings sometimes and- and I dont know what my for my friends are like just in the, and all the other. I think they're, the the better of the two yes, but I, but it's so funny when we all hang out to see the kind of people that I ain't cross over one in five people have been hearing me up, be like you. Dare you offended by what the girl said in his recent special about, like What the building a wall around Louise, no he's

not one hundred per cent wrong. There's parts of louisiana you need to build. They should not let those like growing. I I grew up in louisiana for people I know, but it's also like who gives a shit that wall will keep fuckers from ohio out boom, that a cigar by the way ohio is a great state, I'm just I'm just getting through it. That's the thing he sought out two theaters in new orleans in new orleans, and I literally said I think, I'm doing my special deal with a month of them and be like suck dick new york, I fucking age, to be their next month. Opponents like it's a pretty fucking, do at its annoying thing when people I try to, wars between. I think people try to do that, although they will try to start beef between commagena zoo time. It's a funny joke do! There's a guy, I know is listening, so this is our broadcast and he d act, message me and apologized, but I go Jeff Rosberg, Christ you're talking shit about you on this podcast and I wasn't that's the thing. That's a frustrating Jeff will never listened to that they're all he sees it. I'm talking shit about him and I'm not

I was simply saying I want to go to one of his party's, like those he's great parties and their like awesome parties and hour. Why don't you just go? I go? I can't go. I have kids, I can't just show the kids to just party work. Whole bunch of young, beautiful people all haven't half naked in a pool where it's a bunch of slightly older kids, beautiful bodies and I go and everyone's smoking pot, and you know- and I can't bring my kids up there- that's all I said, and this guy who directed c, mere. By welcoming to startle the ship it when you jeff I go, then you should have said anything because Jeff was like. I think, you'd like what fuck. I never saw anything bad, but I hate people who start fight to go in and go. Used only shit about you like what yeah, ok, but thanks thanks man. What do you do in your life did you go and no one ever no one ever fucking, you never follow up and listen to the thing you just go. What and then you run a the storing you like

What did I do to you like nothing? I didn't say anything so it's it yeah, but but anyhow, sorry ari travelling to child. So we go oh yeah here we go to new orleans and he buys he's by zis vine records, because that's what we're here right their status as old as he is, but I want to be young. Do they buy finals, the guy who travel so light. He buys the bulky as former music partly omby amby buys this- this high end honey that he likes to put these tgv only drinks d and then, and then, at the end of the week. He's like hey. Can you put this love in your bag for me that he can't because his his ideals won't fitness bag? All his ideals won't fit in the one bag that his ideals should fit in. I've got too many pairs of wash by hand underwear supposed to have one pair of those already that's the whole point. I've got six

so we get to new york and I'm forget to give him his albums then he says did joking. I go hey, I'm really enjoying these albums already on twitter and he's like. I will kill you. I will kill your whole family home invade and kill your family and twitter was like that's one too many mister severe and they kicked him off twitter. I felt bags I he was joking, but- and I was I recent twitter and was like hey that that was a joke, but I guess it's not as first defense, he said So also when you don't follow anyone, but you got that the followers yeah it probably is twitter, be revealing. What is this guy might be a deck and know, and you know why they tried to verify em. early on and did I turned it down and could cause it once again, our and look I respect is ideals. They are goofy to me that he doesn't. He did he thinks that by hang owning a house? Is a scam like ours, it is that a mortgage is some sort of scam by the man like that. But but I I they make me giggle, but I respect his ideals, but his ideals are fucked up like twitter was

we'd like to verify you so that your celebrity, so that we can also take care of If something happens, we can talk to you personally in ours like no. No, how do you know I'm already severe? How do you know amari severe? Had this verification stupid? It's just people wanting to be famous. I don't want to be famous. I want to be a comedian by me and why do I marsh fear? I don't even know. I can't prove that I met you, don't know that I'm always there and then, and indeed maybe he goes. I guess I should have taken a very bitter than he did the same thing Instagram is why you can't post pictures or links to the shows I was like showing them one day I was I get I go to these links when you put like a swipe up in your stories. I go. Look three hundred If the people click that link, that's three hundred people bought tickets as an easy way to sell tickets to let everyone know where you are and he's like. I want to do that. How come I can't do that? It's because he snubbed his nose that instagram and now and then it's graham poll leadership blood. The other day. Did you see that picture? Jesus? Christ? Serious? And oh, my god I go? Are you? Are you trying to get kicked off inscribe too? He posts they picture of

it and so much blood in the toilet. By the way he you'd stayed with him, I'm certain he had done the same thing to you that he did with me when we were in atlanta he'd, walk out of the bedroom and go other years. We shocked how much blood I shit and we were like back in the experts, but about is pretty russet really dude Did you see the picture of some of the texts waving and just text it to me? Get it get it up. I'd like to see how much it is yet it all along that. Should we be concerned now now did our unemployment, elf, Adela yeah? How do you know I'm sorry? I just do you do I walk out did you know he like he? Can you tell me that picture of your shit and blood? You know he like needs to in subtle learners in denver like he needs to be in sunlight. Like me, walking down the street or, despite being outside outsiders, they do we walk in the sun, yet fine. Why, are we do and he likes seriously like arches back and closed his eyes light like

superman, absorbing the yellow for strength its I d, are you all right? Man he's like a living california for a long time and he's going all out what it is. You started rub off on me, a tab in certain ways rice die. I'm starting to see the shell this in our business: I'm obstinacy while the vapid nets, not that I just this like this arrogance of of manifest destiny of like something, I believe that the vague in accommodating, give it to people that. Oh god. I saw that I caught I caught it with the corner of my eye. Let me see. Oh Jesus, that's all blood, that's all blood at all. that's a very solid stole the that's all blood, that's a very like formed like you, I'd be more worried, the stool was all fuckin, scattered were hardly that is not fucking hell now. So that's what I'm saying should we be worried? Shall we be intervening? Ari, he said, is an internal hemorrhoid. Ah,

status out. He's gonna goes in this. You there's nothing, you can do about it except shed. Blood exception, being a surgery, but me ever seen, the video brian uploaded called the jew clam Brian Brian riband adona. Is it I don't no. If you ll, be able to find a bit of a picture, is a video of them in a big way. Company respect where it has been all biogas item, our easel, fine. He it is it's a video Taking a shipment, green room get radio stage and he is like any shows them is hemorrhoid and it looks like this sticking out of his ass Jesus our is ass, always asshole, I'm on it, I'm in a trick him into doctor, or at least one of his holistic. I was gonna doktor on tender my right, so we used to tell me about bill aspirin ass? A man I mean are you guys did through for we did you you guys sold out like eight eight shows

at the at the county works ages. We so a so out. Seven filled out one good as a midnight Saturday night still is, I eighty five percent folia. It was awesome his fans are fucking, eight, I'm I make fun of em, but they're fucking, amazing people aid. They love that their friends of the show, shoulder fans of storytelling, storytelling audiences there's something about us. Retelling audience where they're, just more honed in then is a standard stand up audience, so they're fucking, listening. Every detail there taken the journey, it's fucking great. It was an amazing weekend. and we got a veil and just drive. The veil drove reinhard here and it's easy, flew in and ran a contract. so who's on the shows you normand Joe less show list. Are you I myself and Steve mountain c mon man who went out avail. You the everyone I'll ever sow, shoot volcano.

Volcano. Yes, last name he's a get south guy. Every time I say is less name I correct myself and then realize knowledge it s. A volcano gives last name is whole tina language. It legal last name, Salvatore volcano fucking cartoon it's like a cartoon character in a nickelodeon, it's hard to like about new york. It's like an edited out, hey arnold character, sal volcano. They call him that because he's a hothead that comes through volcano get a schedule right from my shop, but that's silva, a real person, but the is the volcano as Steve Simone already myself, that was a ski lift, enormous enormous it'll go back new york and go and go bang twenty two year olds. That was norman. I don't think I've. I've only met your list once excellent human being and he's got one of my favorite stories ever ever ever ever he's got her numerous of my

if the jokes ever ever ever ever seen him to stand up I'll faint hurt, heard he's hilarious. I know we open for louis, so I'm evaluating a comedian, yeah crossover he's one of those guys who to like you, I know this phrase gets tossed around a lot, but you fuckin route for because he's been around and put it in the work and he's been grinding it out, but he doesn't check any boxes means, that's like he had like really earned it yeah, you know end any at ease that classic stand up. style, the classic fucking. Your comedian, but I think there's gonna be a cellular, huge resurgence for what's going on in new york, I think you're similar tie me and that beards beer, we have we, we bring much more than simply joke telling to the stage storytellers age. I think we re our whole personality yet and we empty out ourselves exactly which enormous enlist don't make big. They measure it and it, but the They don't empty out. They make for foreign just the jet brilliantly

growth and get me like if it were, if we're all. If we're weapons like you and I are shot guns, we just kind like sprawl and they're, both like easy spear later, but rapid fire you no more able if, if, if instruments their guitar. Electric cars were pianos like heavier and more of a pain in the ass, but to start we beautiful when played right and those guys are just like the fucking, the guitar the ets solos, but I'm academia, all day. If we're food items, we are these workers and those are poisonous sushi at what like its yeah. Great ngos, awesome, but I'm I'm, I'm not drinking right now, really I've just taking like I break to reassess and Joe was sort of my like beacon on the trip, because he thought he has a dragon years very good reason. There are times where it was like. I had to look to him to see like how is he handling being around?

and the staff it's the best, and it's such a great club that club is outstanding and the drinking in Denver. I was a drink, I would drink this year. Yet I mean it's only. What we have only twenty nine days, but still great thirty two is my longest That's why I start smoking weed again route and I inevitable weedin, seven, you smuggling october. For them this time in seven years with my parents relay smoke a lot about you, functional heave extra. My parents and they'd be humane, if they knew I was saying this on the podcast, whatever the great people, they should be a commercial for. Why marijuana should be legal contract like worldwide, really because they both are high we like functional great people Raise this all great there. No felonies there good people, they both have successful careers and much more pot, and they do it in functionally don't do it at work? They don't fuckin, but they don't drink there very like they like to get home again they go in the garage get high. Are

his experience does he came home heat. I heard there looking at this was before I start smoking again. He got rip roaring hi, my mom, really, who diesel yes well got high, just talk so shit about so much because she listens the exam, so she was dying. About the bonfire, though, if she was just like our big geocache and so dirty. I like him now he's funny. So my mom talks where's your mom from new orleans. Lower ninth ward accent sounds like a old jewish woman, who's fucked up or volume, but then about dan soder. She couldn't remember his name she's, like I don't like the auto and he does too many voices. It's always doing that in voices like forty mommy's, like he had noise me like a bit o j, all areas which is glaring there's an I tell so I tell soda this needs is like fuck man. I gotta step on my game. Did your mom on board, but but yeah like day their great people barely point b

and when I realized I wasn't going to drink and I'm going to be in Denver. I'm like I'm, going to start smoking fucking, but again here and with the technology, not technology the whole dilating advancements. They ve made its easy to walk into a dispensary enemy here, california dubious wanna get giggly dumb high bought no anxiety and they have they all. You need a a cbd and and unlike what the fuck is c b d I get out here and learn that cbd is all the rage. Everyone was like. They did that to me this weekend I was in portland and I said to the guy who orleans legal to ride I walked in, I said to the guy is right under the club, then I go oh helium, hey! I'm. I find that if I smoke before I start drinking drink, exponentially less and it was really looking for. I saw bump really I'm lookin presented and he was like plum spoke out here that really so he's I gave me the spelling extra. Then he goes. Then you get me one high and c b b and he was like

orange crush or something, and he was like he was like this is low in thc, high cbd. This is what you're looking for. Really it's more like a like the body how you're going to just go to sleep and then he was like and then I was like. I want something to giggle really hard and it's ago, jack, rare one, and so, but it's so funny like how it's, as I have said, smoking a lot more yeah, just simply because it curves, catches me both like I've. I fall asleep before I go, I keep drinking. Will you and I come from the sea like from the now these were like we was just we'd dread and when it

Firstly, an EU member of kind bud. Yes, you remember when thou is a thing: dude o made it kind, but I can you're like what kind bud and it was like this crystalline, greener shit and you're like oh, you got that kind, bud dude, that's all we smoked was kind, but it was. It was just. I guess it was a cover all for the better marijuana's yeah, not shitty fucking mexican dandruff yeah, no fucking. I said I said Oregon the other day when we were about to smoke or something I said, what kind of weed is it, and he was this weed who gives a fuck? When did you just? When? Did you start caring about what kind of weed it was? I got it recently because you're like Can I can go when I can put an especial order of what I'm looking for me. I'm I've I've marijuana has been, I would argue, kind of saving my life a little bit, because I do, I don't know the half an expense Man is also really quickly side. Note you know it. average shitty weed always got caught tagged as Mexican we're, but it's got a funny because you learn that, like they actually grow, some pretty god, damn stellar weed in

oh yeah, but for some reason it's used. Always all shaped, always remember what about that mexican everything we are laid there's also mexican fucking gray, we death, but no man, it's but weak. yeah? We grew up at a time where it's like? No, you didn't realize you were smoke in a fucking one hundred percents a tivo and that your cerebral cortex is going to kick itself and who's going to turn a goddamn gravatar on your and your thoughts, we're going to just be vomiting all over each other and you're like fuck. I'm scared- and you didn't realize, then the next time you're smoking a pure indycar and you're going to pass out. So it just felt like there was no stability he was getting homes unpredictable unpredictable. I remember, I remember at times smoking pot and then going. Why am I enjoying this and then one other time? among a button on how come on broken, losing my mind. How can I can I read so I need a or how comic turn on tv put on bridges of medicine, county, Let me like focus on something that is in the real world right now and not freak out our smote. The spell castor this week asked. Oh, I'm honestly, I'm looking for it in l a It was that enjoyable. I smoked thirty

I was going to sail boarding in MT hood. I saw. Did you go to manhood yeah? I went about my dad's cool, not going to make a mark c I oh board after being well we'll get we'll get into this later, but after being with those guys who all ski I want to switch back to skin, I know it looks it just seems easier? I don't mean the act of skiing. I get it. That's ok, I'm talkin between from like lift you get tat walks. After unstrap and you can just pull your way, their attitude I have yeah is best If you go, if you're like switzerland, this nobody Switzerland? Higher is its expert net. Virtual everything's, a fuckin.

deep blue everything's. I got everything's yeah yeah either greens are blues, the blues or blacks, an end or blacks are clear and I was trying to say that I would like the catwalks. There are literally eight feet. That's an exaggeration, but no lie eight feet once sheer mountain and the next door is drop off into a valley is above the tree line. So you are on cliffs snow would much rather being on skis because whiskies skis, you just keep going straight down a snowboard. You always have to be kind of turning and moving will do I'll. Tell you this rent is easy, had a buddy with him, who is a ski instructor, breckinridge, who is like an excellent kids, gets ski backwards. The I was like board most of the day, dealing less. but he told me he's, like outskirts, snowboards terrifying me, because the moment where you have to turn to side near which you have to do your, yet it is the only way you're going in and he's like at the first time I ever tried that one was fuckin fainted. Oh, this gives rise to and are often do it but everytime I board again, it's like remembering, like yeah.

to do this, the other. You turn it on your toes. You right now get back on your heels, we're gonna fuckin each now to night, for the entire that's a whole run. I r I wiped out hotter than I ve ever wipes out in my entire life, nobody in switzerland and I'm And we're on a on like a long catwalk, india back on different slope here and we're going in its just annually. Keeping up a little speed, so they run out energy and I'm going and I'm just from my heel to toe kind of heel to and then I go for a little while and the board starts as board starts. putting this well. I guess the ebb and ice and I just go in and I try to pull my toes insights, been drowned. I catch my toes and I go from fuck probably a solid,

ten miles an hour to slam on my fate midnight knocked the wind me I hit my ahead. I was like men. I had two that I had to start from zero and kick all the way to the now I thought and I think, to ward off the lock in person. of you after wiping out I bet you are still like that. Yeah we were doing bird impersonations, the the the the core of a bird impersonation is no matter what it is. You are amused by it as if it's your first time experiencing it That's our buildable weakened accurate that steve Simone emerging nations, where you just react as something with boyish, wonder and directed at already so like is this now wanna keep falling today are even if these are not in the room, but

yet we know you say, and I ate a shit on powder this weekend- lotta, that's what I'm gonna eddie, if by the way, is an amazing skeer, so are run asean dowry I will make no mistake. Those motherfuckers can really is like being in the it's, been dug being in aspen extreme. You too would ask and extreme great fucking, but that movie have caught teach about life. That's when when you own a movie like that you just what do I get home from going out? The bar eulogists was wrought. That's what you asked with a stream of more time. It's a perfect. It fits into three categories. Drunk movie, nothing to do on a saturday moving, unlike sad needed. Just feel myself again put on some aspects dream, at least I'm not peter bird yarly setting gamble with some big dick, rocky mountain mafia.

The stretch of a movie and then he falls into a crevasse at the end by the way around before he goes back to ditch, I'm going back to Detroit or michigan I went to I went. I was in new york when I first moved new york, I'm going around there's a bar right down by the oh ho, grand of get the name of a lucky strike, and I, in the last strike- and I see peter burke- I liked the fog unlike oh, oh, my god with extreme, and I this is by the way I would still go up to someone famous and talk to them. I I've always been like that, but I just was like I was like: oh my god, when a stream use. I got thanks and I say no, no! No euro salmon. I must, watch a movie hundred fucking times like banks and the guys

it's like, hey man. Can you please leave us alone, and I was like oh shit is Jeremy haven't been lit up, he was like oh hey. What's up man, I was like dude, I loved you in a in. What's a movie with Emilio estevez, were they judgment night? I go judgment night man, Jesus, that's a deep data depot engineering improvements like oh thanks and then I ended up having a beer with them. If I ever saw Jeremy pin or the dude, I fucking loved you in speed the plow, the broadway production, the wet. It's a it's, a it's I'm at play. I didn't see it, but early. He lied his way out of the contracts idiot, like mercury poisoning from eating too much sushi, really yeah and they got like. But but it turns out tat. He was just he didn't like doing broadway real and got out of it, and they brought in william h macy to replace him, but people like legitimately pissed this was new york. Maybe two thousand and eight I remember: when did you move to new york to dominate,

really. No two thousand and seven to june start in new orleans started in new orleans. Moved here, moved to l a first for one year and liked it and went back home for christmas that year and last minute design. Duty to move to new york for relatively cheap opened up. While I was home for christmas- and I kind of really always wanted to be in new york. I just came here tat. I thought I had to that makes sense. You see, like a more you, seem more of an ally comic than mine opinion loud, I think, meaning, like I, can see you thriving and allay more than new york, but but but you living in new york makes more sense. It does because well, thank you, the the I dunno. Why and say. Thank you. I just unfriendly, but late. When I moved here, though, the landscape of l was completely different, would enter o six like nobody went to the store the store. Was just the improbable apply in practice? Would fucking you she be was a place. You see

he was near. I like the right, but it was the EU. She bees fuck a hundred and twenty cedar. You know in north west hollywood. However parterre you would call that sounds like it was starting to think. Nerd melt was starting to blow out. Nerd melt didn't exist yet really near melt. Didn't bloat exist like two thousand and ten really when I would use allows you know just far less stage time like I look look through and when I go when I go by the store now I'm like mother, fucker like this is awesome for the people into it now, right now, the stores, probably at the heart of any club, that its ebert that has ever been out I would say the ark the store and the seller most mare each other, because they both got like the three room. they both are alike high, intense. Attention on either one the differences that the seller rooms are connected, lock the seller, the seller crowd seems younger, you think, let go. I mean I just I hear stories of whose hang out the seller.

No longer like it's like we have If doubly our are the average age of the person working at the store is probably averages by forty five interesting if you like Ran spade norm colleague, allan like all the guys that you know sebastian jen there and then like alley long. I house users, but she uses thirty. We may only thirty, two or thirty nine and burs. Almost fifty like. The average age is probably forty five at depend on the night, though, at the savages ike. I do a seller. I mainly doing the late shows on during the week, which, thank god, I'm fuckin thankful as pilot. Do Those are the two me. Those are there, like. The real fans of comedy go out too one day, eleven thirty show, as opposed to a friday eight p m, show you know, there's something to be said about learning the craft or working the craft at its hardest as oppose.

too, like sometimes when I go to the store, I get the get the sweet spot les, not at night, sometimes everytime. I go to the store, I hit the sweet spot. I get right before rogan before by but like I'm trying of like, but I grant for apt hours or tata, and so it's like the ten fifteen nine forty five spot. Where psych ideal and then once at the bene goes ike. It's like those one am spots. Part of me goes, that's how I learned how to do stand up was in the one am spots, keeping that audience engaged buddy that that muscle, I don't even know if I have it anymore, I'm being dead, serious I could go into a room. I used to be able to go into a room with eight people and kill eight people in this at the boss, comedy club, I watch dane cook perform front of and people, and I thought, there's no way he's gonna do well like thinking he's a big act. This is our muscle me Bobby Kelly, godfrey Jim Norton, all the guy at work their vos patrice. there's no way cabin

Keith, robinson Kevin heart, big J. I think there's no way be able. Figure. This rule mountain dude that guy murdered two eight people like I had never seen anyone murdered a people. My fuckin life. Doing stuff where I was like, oh my god, I've known that hole in the ceiling this whole time, and I never thought to do that like he was in great, but I don't know if I will, if I had a muscle is much anymore, and I saw you I will say at that Nashville commie fest last year though we hung out hardcore down like one show. It was like a late. It was a late, drunk fuckin audience and you went out there will and with no shirt on annual like I'll, tell the machine stuart someone yelled at neuilly I'll tell it later and they like that and then settled in and then and then you told this story off the top of your head funny to me. You told us, that seem to come off the top your head about you and patrice and Some woman walked by your truck

the flyer her and you were like I'll, buy you a glass of wine, oh yeah, and in fucking, murdered in a murdered place in hat it was about catcall yeah and I was like dude. That's such a fucking, great story and you're like you'd, think I was like yes and then the very next show, which was a later drunkard crowd. You end up, later in drunkard and told the story and completely fucked it up. He had let it out like a major points in adopting a weird reaction, and then you went into the machine in the story that got everybody, so it was like you still have that muscle. I don't think you ever lose that muscle lose all the time you have to work at seymour takes a little like roller skating like if you were going to be reading roller skating and thirty years, new challenge your body to run a marathon. While While you rose get. It would be really our view pride couldn't do it. That's me at knew better than that: as general, are broadly medina who thinks he can out. Rollers gave me a marathon while I run it. His arose get in thirty years

and he's going to fall so hard yup he's going to go. He was wearable downhills. I go what about downhills tommy ago. When was the last time you got going too fast. Do you? that's not what always gave he's a fucking idiot days try it does terrifying to even think of roller skating downstairs? Where he's now, as roller skating ever in thirty years, he goes our rules. Google first grade second grade. Well, it's getting harder than roller blaming it was by the way I get like we're having a role royces harder than dr manhattan. Civic shits been updated. It's it's I put I a pair of roller skates the other day and as soon as I tried to roller skate a little bit in the street. I went. Oh yeah. I've won this bet because, by the way, little sidebar I was a competitive, speed. Skater we are. I was a competitive edge later I could, I could do the turn were. Left foot goes under the right foot and the right foot. That's over to turn you do this shit like the johnny. The

APOLLO went on ownership. Did that arms behind your back one arm, pumping one speeds gated in spandex anna care would team here would skating top and I'm too I knew I get on roller skates and I'm almost I was like never going to fucking. Do that. I I feel like how you guys actually gonna. Do it I guarantee Rebecca I guarantee you is bet is the bad is it was kind of like a soft bed there and I think, I think he's gonna real, like comes thomson, someone he don't he likes to make sure he's close to winning before he makes the bat yeah like he'd much rather maybe I'm willing to roll the dice on a fucking crazy about go and have no inciting, though I could do that now and then and Tom's, not a guy, he's like when you didn't, we lost our knowledge until he had started losing fucking too when he bowed and those acknowledged away, long challenge like after a cleanse. I didn't whales challenge it to fifty six I was too to sixty

fifty six and I lost forty. thirty, five pound forty pounds in a month. That's me as I go offer can do it mine too. It comes much more measured like the way he looks. Things he goes like guarantee. I wouldn't be shocked if he had bought roller skates and hired a roller skating coach like with right now and was doing it and then he comes out and he goes I'll. Do the bet it turns out has been doing marathons every weekend like pretends like he does not have yet amontillado out what these on. The idea that this right, let's talk, what in the uk we do you guys deep, don't is bad and they get deadly I'm all right. Man sword fight right, man shoot out. I don't want to shoot, I called are there? The dare would you be be interesting, join the marines with me and he was like what I got a feeling. I just had a fucking very vapid conversation with a comic, and I was like

This is who we are and we really army. This is what we are. You had a conversation so vapid. You wanted to join the woke up service. I woke up my thought I go. I might need something to reset my back reset. My class How bad was this covers, we're talking about, tell you like in roofing audience members as I was after all. That would make me one area and I get air and so on. So anyway, as a result of my agents, and I was like hey: do you think? Maybe you can just kinda set up a meeting. I just want to do bootcamp. I don't want to join the marines, but one wanted the bootcamp I was like. I want to do bootcamp I want to do and they have. I think at thirty. We bootcamp and I think they have a six week. Bootcamp I was like I can do a six week, bootcamp, which probably do like national guard boot camp No! I don't want to be. I like my problem. Is I'm a real pussy? I don't want to really join. I want to do the training and I want to do it and I want to do get recent I want to get to the place where I know I don't make decisions, for myself that I wake up. I'm told what to do and I want to get

It's like it's! It's a crumbling of ego and bad, a crimp rumbling of ego. Where I go where I I re, lies my worth as a man is defined by my output in the feed. like I like, I really was obsessed with it. The idea is kind of formal but tat bit. I mean a fact that I just Are you are immediately goes like we're brains. I did that I like where your brain said that he was. I got bipolar. I could be interested in this, but keep gear. Keep me in the loop. I'd I'd, be I'd, be worried, ferrari have what, if a bunch of comics did bootcamp like it was a comics only bouquet. What? If what if we did a legit boot camp, we call it. all right with we film at its edge me. You are a cigar. You get like just a. On two guys you're talking. Let's do a remake of stripes neck.

It was an art that exact now I see where you're going out and get an watch us and we get oh you're like a good guys like Sebastian, hoo hoo sebastian. No one's tools, as to what to do in a quite a while until you get him to cause the bastions ignite he'll go in hardest fuck. I bear into uses like that, he's the one that itself. First guys like me, hard time being told what to do. I would love, I think, will be really fascinating. I mean Sebastian physical. Not on stage like he does an hour boot camp. Every showy does Ups, aeroplanes, in rate for hours, you're, the excellent perfumery save by aid gets, but a guy like you and me it'll be like fuck. So how how many of these humps? What is it a hump? What happened, how many homes where we have brought in what we do? What have we do work? What if we just did three weeks of bouquet, I would be on board for I shall go max for weeks. I'll go one more. We could do a month bob

I also like what kind of bootcamp you're talking, because there's also like the psychological aspect, a lot of family in the military and, like I don't know much about the military to be done on they'll fuck you up the whole. The the whole thing is about breaking you down mentally for the things that need to be broken up and then yeah. But what, if you can't be rebuilt? Berg Then that's what we're left we're like think about this. They? What is our issue? Fear dormitory? Our friend he's you know at the height of the six: ass was like. I need a good age of four months so like what happens if he goes, like a boot cabotage is like I gotta, go to asia or even out or are we will go for metal jakin legacy I've pile and he was sitting on the fucking toilet. I am in a world of she at world I mean but like, but then again what if we are just, don't do it and come out ten comics you ready now, ten comics, yeah, ARI you signora bar got the norman nor may want to learn in unless you know,

what, though- and this alone I just want suited, thus also in the shape of an agency, I would then like less knowledge, reach p homes aw fuck, be great. Did peat and fuck who will also be so great to watch pete homes in the military just to see what just oil fuckers sergeant. for ireland. I would suggest it do we can we keep this christmas? I think that we do in fact none of them ass, one who be number ten trend and thank who could really benefit from a good you can't you can't do burn you, gotta, be reasonable about you know who gomes, lose nope, no gouty, they know do dazzling big J. Ah, about up, I wonder of big, you would do it, he d, do it yeah I get in greece, shape I ride with smoking, obey a could. We do drugs.

and go don't boot camp yeah! I know I mean I think we're defeating the whole purpose of rock and one of them had been given how, because we need the like eat meat, potatoes make the bed sleep now getting. I guess drugs and of our totally out of it. Yet we have to shake like what basically likes lemon juice and we're just let me just tweet and find out if that's even in the fuckin beer and mix a barks gonna go to waste twitter followers. what will do this is a good idea, we'll just hang on Kenny Why to let you eat they? Really, don't let you do drugs? No, I mean a couple of questions about boot. Camp yeah, let's go live on facebook live and then we'll just get the answers answered real. so yeah, I think, will be we're monotony of accusing you wouldn't be fun, but would be it will be.

it would have you'd you'd have memories you have like. We would never forget those three weeks I mean you coming to be dead on. Do you could probably do it in two weeks? I would destroy us, I'm at me that there are too weak to like sue comes. Haven't you need the first week to break down the second week. MR bonde, and thirdly, to rebuild us. He knows can be funny is to see who's really got it in him like that. I worry about is that, like I worry I worry that I might take to do well and by I probably would take to it. I think I will surprise everyone by how little of a personality I how much I'd shut down and just do what I was told, hey guys we're thinking about going to boot camp just boot camp, I'm here I was questions if anyone's a marine. I want live right now we just want to you drugs and alcohol and boot camp quick question. I think we know the answer, but I just can't Yes, like could

We bring a vape pen, I'd like some one with stripes on a uniform to answer this question yeah. If there's any sergeants or if you get hit your friend is a sergeant, a general on this is are any general general on facebook, whatever I now really what we do in heavy burden, read it we will see if we have any one It depends on the branch too, I feel like like. I want to go marines only ok, pendleton, knobs drugs and alcohol are doing. I go out there like air force. I bet they get high in the air force. Haven't they drink at least They zach says that they're not allow, but people do it anyway in bulk the outer? Also all eighteen and boot, campechy loathing gotta. Remember, like you can fuckin pomp what logs around all day for twelve hours and then you know put back, this garden Michael says no drugs, no alcohol and no tobacco

I could not am I in my wheel, has about xanax Michael tat was their kells annex cloud, actually content here or ambient? I could do camp with ambient like if you just every night. I have a hard time slot. Snoring us fat comics would do yet covering a sea perhaps need to bring my supper. Can I bring my c path to boot camp at sister? these questions. I have it back up, put your goddamn ass god, no drugs get is going to no drugs and alcohol and drug test you as soon as you get there. Well, Joe ideas without its said. All right I appreciate this guy's thing. I clear answers. I would just do this the whole time I mean. That was a drill sergeant but why do we? Where were you this old? I'm sorry, The chiming unwitting with projects my governess member samantha, Mrs Smet, the darling honour on instagram everybody

and now you've got it now. You've gotta represent yourself, though gotta swing swing the bikes. So it's in your mouth cause your dad's drill sergeant. He was great, he was, I can't believe we are talking about this the whole time, So what are you doing? Cinema your base, we raised in book at them. The apple You raised by a guy that he did. He die like wake up in the morning. Ok for everyone to know, Samantha is sean's long time, agent manager right on time. Now it is our weight. I thought right. Andrew ran out of six months. I know, but I didn't you represent him. Did you represent when you're a beauty? I know now over you'll, never met him in nashville actually many years time, and then you know that the trip I didn't know you guys. I feel, like you guys, we're like for long I like it, but no I love. I left my reps in june and then a couple of weeks later current I I was just like oh yeah,

so you're, not a huge anyone's samantha was by was my agent over it you to one of my agents at youtube, and then she left you two to go over to my management com. They love it and now she's a manager levity. She rep sean. They had me today there are lots of coffee, they had a data, shit or bathroom women. Then just what am I not a funny one so samantha, you can't hear interaction is from Dublin her. She re dad's, an american we. What yeah is robin dublin yes and over. I was much when you were in ireland like couple weeks ago. I saw you in ireland so then Mona. I was at a lax over the holidays. She was meeting her sister who lives in hawaii who flew to acts. There were meeting at alley x to fly to dublin, so I meet her sister interested there's no eyes like ten blonde coral, anklet,

and forget all the rejection. It's the most overwhelmingly layer of gas or is your irish accent go. I was raised in the states as a kid and I learned how to speak here and I think it's hardwired in my brain. So I was there for like was there from like eight to twenty two and then been here eight years now, so it's kind of but our sister someone you run at any rate a holy shit. Man ride fuckin ride, the blue crush cause. It was eleven hour flight, a fight and taught project run or credit labor. I tell you, you have to wax your board. You could pop right up and stand on it. There's a there's, a sound that there's a female comedian named. Why would I see a female bert get with the fucking times get woke by I'm, I'm I'm nineteen. Eighty two woke I'm cool with gay people yeah. I said that amazed as these are the days when I hold on I'm going to forget thoughts.

I well, will the world giving aid this girl? Women are snowboarding. She fell off the trail into the powder into the trees and ice eyes star thomas and honey. Are you ok and she was like I'm not honey, because I thought was logo I thought I was a little girl. So that's why I said honey. She has I'm not honey, it's not nineteen. Seventy two I was like enjoy the powder bed. Tomatoes took off, but but but What I would say, oh there's, a iris comic, a sling, be nice. Atheling may actually be a friend of mine. I love her voting. Jesse fun, that's a thick! That's all you! Don't you get it he's gotta take one she's from our obviously, but when she goes to ireland there like oh this americanized, I thought I saw a picture of her someone. I think toy conrad. took a picture of her and I was I woke, she's beautiful and then I was oh sure comic, and so I went water issues funny, and so I texture, if you're in the states, hit me up I'd love to have him on my podcast and she she was so funny texting, not er.

Damning back and forth that I immediately was like oh, my god. Fuck you like a home run like she was like for protective, actually is, what's a podcast and I was like a fuck do I am like and then it's like, oh and then I I it was just so fucking she's great she's. In a they're in atlanta, this week: shooting from four netflix follow on the same right as yet, not yet moved here now good. She moved here. She just note here I don't know exactly where yet she's up its catch faster. Did I hear an irish people are just like innately funny like point: we really. Why do you need cause? I was doing the dublin tommy fell last year, the cabdriver, which is I Shorty eleven states like new york is, like been meaning to go. I hear they got a great ST patrick's day parade or so and then and then we laugh about it like I had my daughter lives over there, but daughters are. officer outcome

I looked back at me in the merry like I got two daughters. I tell you that, could I normally dont feel comfortable? Saying that two fellows, I think, are right in the head. You seem ok to me just like a great moment of light, like you I seemed seen enough for you to tell that you had a second doc but, like I fuckin there's just like it Think I don't know, I don't know where it comes from, but I think it's like their sense of emerges comes from when they were oppressed by the british. Maybe I'd like a package. we can deal with oppression has to be named. Fuck it the most You know, there's a terrible irish act and I apologize by the way. That is that my daughter, she is better, it comes from the backup your throat, you just let it your mouth. I cant do any accidents. This is more school age

that doesn't sound that bad as it sounds like mid week, cause it'd fill up all all one more looking at a train and spot on it, but I bet he drank a braid drag a wee bit too large of a spot of laphroaig and bit his tongue enough. I am really good at black accents, despite them being a little racist, I'm really good a black actor. I have a boy in my new hour, morgan morgantown, where I'd do a black accent and one of the black eyes the second. I do the accent you can almost picture what he sounds like what he looks like you like. I know that it looks like yeah, but where are you from from Tampa? Oh that's what I think. That's why I feel like when I first moved what I was talking about in therapy. I was trying to my therapist about you and I knew you were coming over and I was like run. Through my day, and he was we were talking about guess. I said some people really tough podcast with because they are, they are good. Conversationalist

a lot of like a lot of, in my experience, a lot more of the alternative comics that I've had come on. The show guys that were used to be like they don't lie, you or resent that they're doing it, but when you get it I like mere you, can whose a traditional comic, but I think, with a very all, vibe. I I've always felt like it. I go it's going to be a really user conversation and he was like whoa whoa. Tell me about and tell me about him. I said well at first, the first time I ever saw music doing our story. telling shown told an amazing story- and I was just I was drawn in that it was We did a strip club mantra yeah and I was I was fuckin drawn in and then that night I ran into him and he's weren t the way I wear t shirts. I got I've used collide, baby altea, our teacher and a new drinking wine, and we were just bullshit, and I said you know at the time really trying to get this tour than that. I'm ended up doing I think the summer, but this toward the it worked or off the ground, and I was trying to

it's a morning drinking shown I was like. I wanted him to elect The second is almost like. He needs to be on this tour and what happened they said well toward ever took off you gotta you gotta, get successful before anyone wants to do the door and then once you get successful, you're like well shit. Those are the ideas I thought that would get Success me: I don't know that I won't do them anymore, yeah, how you like now I wanna do new stuff. I want to do you know, but produce I was like. I could do this tour with him in a harpy I'll. Do it the same? say. Out of you do that I loved you were supposed to do responsibility for the summer. and four. like a short run and tested out. It's gonna, be in theatres like earn rock venues like how's, the blues there, the filmore, and so we pick, the right cities to go to and and then make it will make it fun. I want to get a kind of urban really talked ad nauseam about it, but I'd like to bring maybe a band with me. yeah for comics. We were big,

although tron arriving goes on? I should make it a fine morning drew the best morning drinking that above could we have who are like element, sporting liquids and we all dressed up in some sort of eight I wouldn't I'm doing I wouldn't mind doing themes, city, it's a different theme, ass and so like for, like shit like for like chicago or just a bunch of fuckin. I would say it was a good chicago team watch a whole ox known, and I would like to do I'd like to do like lecture we all dressed up like cops. It could be that you could know cops and robbers. There was traffic, you can rest of the countries, Robert yeah, it is a bit like I want to do it. I want to do it the way I ran our socials that our fraternity, and so I throw it Party parties am the morning so its day drinking, that's the best and then you'll

this one's gonna be called ongoing, babylonia and it's just all fucking grass Kurtz tribal paint tat ticket. Like barely make everyone's half naked. Do that day. What if he drew a quick. I love that we're gonna edges side note if we're gonna do if we were in Chicago or do a thing for one go: deep cut: bunny rabbits, I swear to you: fuckin rabbits, all over the goddamn city of chicago real, since so many fuckin rabbits in chicago route, thought you were talking about. You have now started like VON bought his old playboy momentum. I think really yeah the playboy mansion started in chicago, obviously, and then his and killed herself and they started trashing image cod when he said fuck Chicago. He felt like all the councilmen or the elders we're trying to shut down his business and he moved it I'll tell I do I like I've, seen it's almost like that what some mayor of Chicago was, as I do. How know how we're gonna get rid of racial tension? Bunny rabbits release them into the streets, who's gonna? What gang

gonna fight over turf body. Rabbits pouch around take picked up a cute forget about the drug This is a terrible chicago action or is it is about. It is not that bad god. I can't wait for all of the people hard Corsica, People here there's an ideologies this kind accent is aggressive. It's five fucking love that city man do to chicago in new orleans, in my opinion, are the two best drinking it is in the united states and no one I hang on. I would argue: noan beats new orleans. No, no one beats. Ok, it's different. new orleans everyone sort of constantly buzzed, so the way more lax where chicago there like. I can fuck and see the ghost of AL capone those we re aiming at the army gun. Actually items are a great like The four p m dream get fucked up a gets, a raid happy hour drinking city because it's such a it's such a place were so

People are working, and it's just I I love chicago, but nor let us in opinion I new orleans define the looking at the south share Like I never florida drinking was different floated drinking started on a boat in the afternoon and in it was different. I put it turned out. A beer may have someone I offer you drugs who's, disrespectful to say no, because exactly it started with a beer, then you're, then you're crunching math, like pop rocks and coke and then it'll be like it'll, be like you, wanna do a little bump girl. You know get straight my head out: let's stay up later, when I think of you in fucking Tampa Florida. Think of diamond studs in your ears, like the fair, like the figure fake, like indictments, die hard core and I beg you like the great play online. As tight, hemp choker, you mean poker, be proved to be, but maybe a crystal in the middle, so much jesse, dude or massimo are massimo pre target, on Zan like no longer, and then

with those what were those jealousy, those those pull over tarps You could get that denial of over. They called out I heard the and it was all like woven animate them all. He had a pockets dude I but network. Ah has it, but it had a need to know the name of recover their call, dammit everyone had one dude? Ah again, you Brian I respect with, if you or that the leather, without when the letter with a day, jacket over it. All that was the fuckin look. My colleagues is christ butts. or would you short all oh yeah, sure, yes g sorts case. As with the chin, I socks bar, the other body. Are those were huge I that so many of those when we when was the first time you got drunk fourteen years old, mardi gras

really marty was family thing. People think about the texts in that. Bourbon street near that all happens there, but like it's like where the parade iran is a lot of families. you're, a lot alike, your teenager with a large family, it's great as your fucking. His hang out with your father, forty your cousin and your uncle terry reaches into the coup. Or get a beer and looks over at you and just hand you both a coors banquet and you're like awesome, and you just know in the fucking know. Cops are gonna, do shit yeah, he just crack it and there you go. That was my first ever drink was port workers like yeah, yeah and so Fourteen years old, your health, how how big your family, your whole family have been orleans, which I mean my immediate family. I got three siblings: two parents, three siblings, three younger siblings, yeah, really, two sisters, a brother, oh yeah, you met my brother. He was in nashville the whole area. The trade peter I was I was. I knew the nationals a bender form again: oh yeah me too uranium. There was his leg. He again

when his girl is long term. Girlfriend is broken up. Any just turned twenty four seven, Asheville well like he's. Like fuck it and get out of town for we can hang out, he posted a bunch of pay shared with you and then went back to normal. Allen's like the king of social media. Oh really, circle cause. They were like all you know bert, and he was just texting these things like oh crisis or oh yeah, a long time I've been known for years. Man, you got, you didn't. I know through those pretty but it was fun man. It was but anyway, point being and I have like dozens of cousins really dozens of cousins and that rhymes. I just realized that, but a lot and beyond fuckin some on the right of most, of whom I don't talk to any moral, just sad, because you know. part of there always gonna, be the side of your family that, like it's almost like they, unify in the sense of they are you guys all went their religious. You're not gonna, have kids and by cookie cut our homes route and probably all vote for it,

annex vi. Whatever do you think not of truck vote? Trump card everything else, what I read your thing, but then the other half, my cousins or all you know shit an awesome and great in, but we all got fucked up together. One point: that's The other thing I was neural has grown up an orange matter. Did it's a young drinking city? It's the best it am I like when we were there. We were just therefore David, a all further. You think you got my friend gave you guys the tickets thou my boy who looked you guys up at those saint stove real, was jeremy falcon, find him and his fuckin and him and his wife also got thrown out of you guys his show, because they got shit talk, they got, they didn't get thrown out, but basically some of the you know your fans can be drunk apparently there are mostly sal's vans and those they said they had a row of like just loud mouse behind when their basically haitian keep it down like they gave me just a straight line and they

for the remainder, the show that people just randomly lean in behind them and be like she like in a mocking way and jeremy. Finally, like he's not a tough guy, but he's a guy and he finally turned around like fucking: do it again see what happens and they throw them all out really said he, I think he talked to ARI afterwards, like right after it happened and was just like that we got thrown out. This is bullshit by the way, I'm the guy who hooked you up with the tickets. Who has a thing of like? So not insane thousand of john. But fuck side is our desire environment. I hate when they have that happens, but that yet big, so you ve got to get you as one of the gay most for hungary, fucking annihilated, I'm sure he I was at the whole fucking. I love nor the first one, the goat PA live about that that feeling of being an orleans, They are the resonate with a southerner like a view. Grubbin south idea of, like a like, of course you can. cocktail in the afternoon. When you talk about new orleans and you you you

vibe that and I feel like I'm not of If you could it's, of course, you sure yeah. Of course you should, of course you will yeah. Oh you've, never had a mint julep. Oh my god. We make a great mint julep for latin. What was the one I got. There was a gin is when an egg it with followed. You convince surgeon, fears with anguish right aware, and I was but that that whole town represents I've, a buddy idle. A lot who were actors and moved to new orleans I ask- is the work- was through the roof and now they'll never fuck and leave the cat. I love it. I mean, did as drink olive lucre aid, which I can't even try its its similar to a manhattan, but not a sweet. The new Orleans drink it as a guardian involving whiskey and absinthe. I know that much and god damn I love it. The drinking tonight yeah. You are yeah I said I wasn't going to cause. I got pretty. I was really good we can. Then yesterday I flew in and out

ray. I draw had a couple drinks at the airport for leaving and slept the hopeful I flew into a from worth portland of quality of life. I was at six and if the boy I'm sitting there eating exam which and the bar opens a five and the guy, which can have something to drink and I was like. Oh I'm good he's, like you sure I said yeah, and he goes. you don't wanna double tito's assault on a big last? No it fuck you I mean he was like I I can make you one real, quick, pretty stuff and I was like I'll take one. So I had to have those easy and six in the morning five in the morning, Js just cry two of those five in the morning five thirty, we must set the whole flight came home. And and had a beer, cigar, like I slept in another beer and scorned mill the afternoon and then the girls and in the was just great. I went to nike stalins. Why bought a bunch of or nike companies? or in portland motives, Diana all fit and everyone liked it, and I was got tactile issues. So we,

celebrating as I liked your shoes. She never luxury jews. And then then there were like. Let's go, let's watch a movie tonight, let's get dinner and I just got it away from me and I bought a bottle of wine yeah so and yeah. So I woke up this morning, going like I'm gonna get on, the train normally on five miles. I'm not going drink tonight to be good, but all this talk about booze loops. Yet sorry for not knots. I wonder how long you gonna quit for I don't know. Madam eminent seminar ominous see I just gotta there's a lot. I gotta. I write and on this shot battleship ship. I got me than that that not dominate or anything that mean yet, but just I there's a lot I gotta do I gotta focus and I've. I've spent the past, especially like the second half of last year, was just I want you to do in edinburgh and then coming back from that and then, like being on, there I came back from edinburgh was right on the road and then into new a comedy fast. So I was just like.

I just quit. Festivals can care, and I quote: drinking beer, awhile back I'll, drink whisky and just europe I really think vodka is part of. I stopped I well. I stopped during doubles? That was my my big things subduing shots this year, but like you, those yards, as you have done your shots mn we did that fucking drink a day. Drink calling work podcast and never ending like like they thought we were going to die, saw if we did have a shot. Every third world are women what was killing me was shot. So Did the large at a party dont use, don't do shots, you do like complex concoction, yeah cream involved. I was doing. I was due so many shots on impractical, jokers crews that I got. I think I think I'm allergic to fuck her all you got. You got sea sick before the vote on doc. I was I was rough, and so I say no more shots this year. So and then my other thing is, I just smoke weed and then just

pretty chill and like my one want a cocktail. Maybe, but I dont end up drinking the. Where would if I'm just drinking So do I, but but yeah button, those double vodka sodas. Would they just catch up with me I'll buy an absent eyes. They you didn't catch up with them. Is I've seen you just ralph those things and bert duisburg think clock is why I want all them against it. I want giant. Where am I know, that's? Why be drink it notifies the I don't, but I feel good. The next day I work out the next day where I feel maison but like because it like it? Doesn't emu hang over, but then I started saying you haven't you know so please have a drink beers I go. I can only have like five and a fucking blow to a fucking pissing every twelve. So it's like you know what but yeah I'm on probably drink tonight. I think I just want to know what we're talking about booze ago? There's a romantic side. If you want to you want to you want, you know what helped me with getting curtailing or I could just control I switched to align. Only did you get

a wine hangover is no joke it or a metal put into it. It reminds you of your mortality. Yeah you're like oh, I am human. I've only seen you drink wine really yeah, oh yeah. I do I love when I when I do drink it was why why and whiskey where's that, but that was the part of me that I saw that. I saw your romantic side me when I watch you hold a wine held a wine like no one held a wine. I was out you really enjoyed wine like it look when you had a wine your hand. I went take a picture that, with a mean this as living life to its fullest. My brother fucking cracks me the fuck up. He said once while I was regular whiskey and he was here. He had just finished smoking a ball and he was just like these are the three yes and he was born out of cigarette as he said that he goes out of three dubious We want what we'd, whiskey and american spirit

and like sit down this fucking wait till about edinburgh, real quick. I was awesome, I love that I did at one time, but I did with patrice and vos and it was painful. radio up How long ago is MM patrice are still alive, so what two thousand? No he wasn't. He was dead. We brought. We brought that you brought them over and animated him a weekend at Bernie's. He was a hologram. No, it was probably sixteen years ago. Seventeen years ago I mean that the ice. I do. Will you guys just doing straight damages to illustrate stand up and did you so? Did you get it like a room and do an hour like create an hour different than the one that you do here or similar here in similar in tone and topical, but different, like it's more like a thematic, now there's a narrative involved? There is poor,

women's bag and use a microphone. Ok, so is really like it. You can describe for anyone Listen the doesn't understand what at the edinburgh festival is trying to give him like a broad I mean it's, the original french vespers. Basically like it's a festival where, though thousands of performers from around the world and then tens of thousands of advice. errors from around the world go to a very small city. In edinburgh very old and ever Thing turns into a venue, and there are shows from noon till midnight hour later. Noodle too. I am every night in hundreds of men use and its performance to catherine to map, but, like you just gotta do like, but it's more its awesome cause either someone my girlfriend came and saw she pointed this out and she's all right. It erases the idea that categorization is necessary. In the since that you see so many shows there that are like what was that I just

Watch then you what was good. I laughed I geared up a little bit, I felt something I it made me think, but what category district at that It's a comedy is a drama as it and like it's unnecessary. How about it's good? It's good and it's performance. It's an interesting thing, but you just Firstly, when it comes to selling shit, you need categories, but in the pure form of at all, it's just a it's a fucking month, long festival full of everything you want to see If you want to see, I feel like when you guys went, they probably didn't respect american stand up style as much as they should have at all now they do? which caught up over then we now realise how much they work those in new and now it's it is stand up, no one, I have to admit it, but it is it's a fucking theatrical form, and it's just as to it's just as if not more difficult than theater, then danced and all that shit. It's definitely you know it's it's a.

Excuse you as a performer, because it deserves its place up there and, like I think now, the fringe people respect that now did not the danube sixteen years back and see how they would watch. We would watch this guy who'd cell five hundred tickets, and a larger venue, and it was pon after pawn. after pon patrice, and I would just be looking at each other on this. Isn't not only It's not funny, it's so clever, but it wouldn't gets so like it such an wink nod is the joke. When I get would just it would. You murdered in new york and we straight. stand up, says that we do and straight stand up, just like hall and patrice was oh grass, if our guy would fuckin pay so much to see that all off a limb to watch that to go back and watch patrice in and tell him I came in I don't know. I forgot what you die of, but just be careful to back it up here.

but I've only ever met patrice. Once Oh yeah, I read one interacts with the guide. It was like a fucking amazing blossom. What was it, he was headline ngos of new year. It was too nine, I want to say, and it was a it's a fucking It was a saint Patrick stay show and he was headliner cause o neill right. that this club called comics in new york, which no other colleagues here and I walked back there and, as I walk back, I get into the green room and its patrice. bargaining with Jim Jeffreys, asking how much money would take for him. The quit stand up, thousands conversation I walked in on, or provisions just like how much seriously a million someone gave you remained out right now, you quit targeting the job I like Jim jefferies, wasn't as big as he is now, but he's still like a known guy that just it was just fucking funny, I out of nowhere. I guess partridges a curious. How much would take for Jim Jeffreys, too quick doing stand.

and then I'm just nervous zella, I'm not gonna, say a word and fuckin terrified. Also in awe the trees and, unlike the hose, goes on and I'm just watching, Pacino was wasn't green room just like fuckin. Take anything. Take anything anyone said and turn it on a conversation, peace, singer, Boston, not not, but not bustin balls. In more of just like her stroking the balls and kind of slapping you in the head kind of thing is what I'd say he did yeah you know made you feel good, but made you kept you on your toes. But if member comic state. They they piped the the show in on the monitor. She can also at any minute look up in here. What the comecon stages I don't remember with a host was, but he was doing fine, but patricia was out a bit ass. Yet I've heard this before actually funny swarm. Now like cheese Jesus Christ like terrified about to go on. Knowing patrice can be provided commentary from

but I went on, did my shit. I came back. All we do is look over and extend his hand. Give me that, like handshake finger point snap, combo clear, you know, then just game. You like it like a straight up like had not no words, nothing exchanges like a yes had not and then stood up, one stage, and it encourages moment of like that one of the first time I was oh man, I can write right, yeah I feel that was a seal of approval. It was fuckin I bragged about it. yeah a week. I get to see our galaxy projects like in you I mean guy was a fucking master, but just then watching his sat watching how he could just like, like almost terrify and be involved in plague, he would terrify an audience while also like blowing their minds. I do enjoying every second of a giant, six foot, seven, just giant of a man being like how long you, too ugly motherfuckers, been dick and arrogant.

I don't know manner we stupid and it was just it brilliant because by so I would love to have one. Tim wow the swords and slice through that very prim and proper british fringe crowd. He like what is he talking to us? Is he is he? Oh? Oh, oh he's he's making icon dont to product. I watched him dismantle eddie hazard, oh god, fuckin pick apart algae. in an area and an areas or did it to tat. It did almost exact, same thing to this guy named Louis schaefer, but but yeah patrice was yeah. When trees were ass down, you'd have to yeah. He was a I, you know. The probably the best part may not be as obvious. I watched him perform that every night more on the same show, but the best for it was a year was some for twenty nine days like afternoons. Were we didn't we obviously play you. I got me a sit,

Watch t v together now go eat some fucking haggis and you'd, say something and then he go, I'm gonna fix. You, like. I remember like here the the three things. I remember that that trip. That really stand out. side from whatever stories of written. In my book about that trip, said to him. I had never seen a brutally movie and he was the lord and he was acting urine. because you know of any hip hop. You can't be a fan of hip hop. You never listen. Watch a bruce lee Bruce Lee was such an integral part of the black experience, and so he went out and he got the seven stores of the dragon seven floors of the dragon, whatever enter the dragon atlanta. The truth is that where you gotta go, you gotta fight people, and so he got the and we watch that and he broke down. He did pause and explain things are not. He heard me listening to Jay, z and singing the wrong lyrics and it fucking sent him through the roof and he then hit.

May we listen to Jay and he explained the lyrics to me. splain, what brilliant writing is. He said you know you camp. It can expect to be a great. Comic. You can appreciate the if you're, saying the wrong lyrics ericsson jazzy. That means you're not pay attention to the words. How can you pay attention to your words and the on phrases stuck with me that he said You need to hear this. It was beep beep and I'm picking up. Let him play with a dig in the truck most in it let's get out of schools, a pimp movie. Second, it's gonna be beat and pick them up. I can play with my digging the truck and- and I was I got it pretty fucking bad isaac, no, no you're missing it and you're just and obsess about it than the other thing? Is you taught me to make an omelette? He was past, it's up on and also egg? Is that a full them over the dude speed like its funding, is like the did? You know I was thirteen fourteen, like the first bhutan Glenn there's a chambers dropped and they were all massive

come from the movie aficionados method. Man, though a key setting more comic books, but that dude he there's arrived from method man that, like sticks with me to wear its sigh, he says, got my hands on the four nine three eleven with the rugged rhymes galore foreign, three eleven, the fourth world alphabet his d, the ninth, his eye The third is see the eleventh k. He does numerically spells out. He bit got my hand on the dick here, but he just spells out numerically further. I I love What oh, my g! I love you. I love you. I love when you get a great line and hip hop in your like fuckin. I was a big fan of a hot boys, an apple the vote will be added from our setting up. I saw them lie here's a thing so them lie. I saw the hot boys live ass rest in ninety. Ninety eight they played at the congo's squids

congo stable to put that important directive. That might be well bling bling came out no love before for being willing, as no more than willing to hot boys. The hat boys like and the habits were comprised of juvenile young turks to be g, low, wait right and By the way we may be the only bit like guys that can reference the hot boys right now. Their face, I feel like the hop, was, were lost on america. All people pulled out of the hot boys. Were we're back that ass up and blinked willing. I now guys all mere had. I was a mate yet I was. I was that one thing that was juno lonely juvenile little. We were the ones who like excel. Then career in no way by railway was like fourteen. When this was going on, I'm only fourteen, I'm a big time. It's in there that's a damn good low, eight impersonate, I'm a big time. I've I've, our team but Leon, work out. What for cabin turk b g? I will Are you was the most talented? Are the group yet went the fuckin way the dodo like just got?

the dragoon gaia crime robot. They were all in drugs, we It's easy to. Bg was one that was addicted to heroin. Now that was both of them. Lil wayne was scissors, or was he totally addicted to heroin? He, though he did something that I think is goofy, but he did he did a rhyme ones where it was easy. He said the words the rhine was, you done, took mind, ammo, take, yearn this is what you and chop bullets burn he so easy. Took yours and turned it into urine and there was a fucking time in new orleans louisiana where yearn like hard core. Thanks to do, would use the word, yearn really it'd, be like a man that yearn for. If you forget about or something similar, and the eight instead of saying is that you're saving your man's at yearn and you're like oh, the sky guy loves the baby Stick as he's using the word, yearn due to them,

or I was what iron I was working with, will psmith when the talk about hardcore gangster rapidly to write their body. Do why you do that? I try to be a tough dad, but you'll be make me laugh rose met blair in this. Just the two of us. I try to be a tough dead, but you'll be make me laugh why you do tat. I was working with well Psmith. I had a tv show at the time and ours, at the graftin on sunset and I walked and from a dodgers game into the grass and with a girl that I'm hooking up with and as I walk in outside Smoking are bt. Little wayne, young turk and and not young turk, is that the young turks up bigger than they do now. Young turkey. I was anyone by just turkey at heart and away, and I and I fucking lose my shit, but I gotta locking up boys and there like, like by the way

stay your garage, I ain't burly bearded. Why do I was never lie? I wasn't bearded at the time of that I was like. I want you guys on the tv show I've been late. I talk show. I want you guys on line there like ok, they're like This number and send an end. So I went to work, since a jealous. I want our boys on that. I know that is our brand as now we're going for and they wouldn't have among those a universe in they are the biggest like rapid, like juvy and low wayne and be the time a try, I think, was you know a little loss. But I was like that's bling blate, like you, ve that back that ass up, that's who we're talking about for like no what's interesting, is and and if anyone listening was at that jazz fest, I wanna say it was ninety eight I could be wrong, could be ninety seven actually, but the hot boys. Were performing a stage in Congo square was enough We pram I remember first, three tracks there is fucking kill me to do. right and then somewhere mid, fourth track the city scarred skip, and now they weren't lip sinking there were legit wrapping, but they

wrapping offer just the cd play they put in the city where I asked the beetle demanded where they are and it started in the city started skipping and they had a very well. I do know that concern and I remember as up guys, but I remember lake in individuals. Their fat check me on this Few of you will remember this, but it was a thing like in old age. To prove like low. I remember lawing going off on a freestyle right. There just approve, like hey, we weren't we were, the G8 wrapping and then that they play the city again shows great. But it was a moment of like me, you That's how all you realize that now it gets out most hip hop shows work. They just play the cd oftentimes, there's a guy on turntables he's not doing shit. For when he's got actually scratch or not even that anymore, with hip hop. Now it's changed so much with dino. Now you see a lot, top in the back, but other donors lay the track is not a cd anymore, be not a mere. I big girl out does that the three diseases it's up there and hits play

those are then that's what I'm putting eyes, but it's all about the vocal in the performing arts in other, like this shit It was one alike, damn an outcome, stewart I'll catch you, the greatest, live hip, hop group of embassy. I've never seen never seen. I've never seen you fuckin answers on real. I realize he's so goddamn great life. I think when it's all said and done or at its like right. Now, I think, as of today, january what twenty thirtieth do. Thou in eighteen right now. I would argue that thus far are outcasts is the greatest approve ever I would I could I could there are lacking they reinvented themselves with every album area is a completely different, but it, but they still kept more like of who they were. You know they did. They did. I think- and I wonder I love of over thought about this big boy might be. My favorite wrapper his style of writing his so soft and smooth it has you can almost smelled a blackened mild like his last night.

It's patent by mile away. Is it really yeah? I can't remember his last name. First name or the point was last names patent, not really no relation. Unfortunately, he but Andre three thousand, I think, has been the the last names crisis. We're not I I dunno Andre's last name no is listening, but three thousand its wealth on italian. I find it an hour love it. If you looked at his actual name and it was like wait actually, if you pronounced it, it's three thousand, it's like louis ck yeah. It actually says ck. What time is it? What time you guys have to head out to thirty am actually would you care if I just shut off the p real quick, I'll be in the backyard hooker.

I'll find out? Okay, how long we've been gone for so far our twenty five is big o. I wrote big bio, not big boy. I wonder where my wife is babysitting for my sister right now, it's my sister's birthday. What, if I should go in and make sure the priscilla is not attacking sean antwan, Andre pattern row, one hundred and forty pounds- oh hey, yeah sister here and you've got to get up early. The stress! What's that smell you smell that smell, so it sounds like it.

What's certain is: what's going on, I wanna see I wanna. I wanna have a party to see to watch the speech tonight. The civil union laws that say this says save this one for the on megaphone. I'm glad I didn't have the ocean, I'm glad. I didn't heed your advice and just whip it out in the backyard. Is both your daughters are home inside that? Just like? Oh hey, dad told me to do this, use my wife and their nano, but I met your daughters. They seem super cool. There are smoking to dube. I said just you know I wonder I think, because it so prevalent, I bet they ll stay away from it, because it s going is its cool anymore, you mean even oh you'd, probably rather catch your dog, you probably ultimately, rather your daughters smoke weed than drink. If you're going to. I would rather them here's what I would rather I'd. Rather them go to college

sperience at all, but I don't know, I think I think marijuana two young can fracture your psyche. I think, like a nineteen eighteen, twenty two. They say that we should your brains done developing pointed out That's where they say. I've heard that on other blogs, podcasts so, but for the most part I would I think, I'd probably be cooler with them. Smoking pot, although b, cool. They could just be like the kind of kid that, like most girls. I knew it like had a couple drinks and got buzzed and pass doubt, but but but I don't know, I don't want any of that involved in their lives. I mean, if part of egos it will break my heart if they needed to get high to throw a frisbee, because right now they can throw a frisbee and laugh hysterically yeah, but then I vomited throw a frisbee with them. I definitely also wonder too, though, like in, like you know, vs, where you are the era we grew up in versus now we're like you now generally

Do your a little more aware, like hey, don't and final some girls passed out of it. I grew up with that. We grew. We grew up around the guys, we're not that kind that shit at share on there is a there are sending us the other day on stage that, like the like, you know Part of the dialogue should so be they like I dont there's a lot of things. I did bad. I knows bad like I like taking your dick out of the party like pulling your pants down at a party and run it the party naked now I realize that sexual assault, but like libya but the way you are doing it wasn't. So why was it anyway? I was chairing maliciously now, but the fact now that if you took your dick out anywhere, that is completely and totally inappropriate and sexual saw its also forty five. I took my dig out now. I think people like mother, your grown up there but like. I would insists, remember being at a wheel. At a party with a with the eighty pide, our fraternity house, and there was a huge slide and I was

the first one to go down the slip inside and I did it naked and it was just a bit, but that was at the time I guess then I guess I slid, and there is a piece of glass in the and its cut, my ass and I stood up and it was pouring out of my asshole, like out of my back, I'm my ask to mass cheeks. we're tailbone. Is she and no one uses some of the psychics. I was also when aids was really big, we're all going to get aids. Can you believe I just tell me if I'm wrong about this woody allen is basically the aids monkey for the me too movement. Today I should then he is, but you don't have a reason there at all started blocked all of it. You know D, his son is the one wrote an article on what are we want steam Woody Alan's son is the one who wrote the article on army one steam woody son wrote it because woody allen, sister or dylan pharaoh's MR president, a dylan it in pharaoh's sister dylan pharaoh, is the one who meet

pharaoh said, would you sexually assaulted, when she was seven dry, ok where's. The only argument of aragon into Lucy guy was by that I didn't like woody Allen cause. I just saw him as a pedophile. This is by the way this is two thousand and or when I told him that he was like he's. One of the very structure is one of the greatest comics ever knives like our now, I see due to factors. that's all I see lose like that. Wait, no parent. She was of age and I was like I go as I mean, I hate that Louise in the in the conversation about this now because does make it sound, like he's defending louis woody allen, but he was a big. He was spired by woody Allen a lot a lot of people are ya. We must do so where you cannot there's a big I would just uptown anna die, keaton today on our that yeah? You know, that appetite going after woody in the eye and what was that on shoes affair, you're talking like saga,

she's dying Keaton said, I think everyone should watch this. It's per complicated there, because I. I mean it's hard to even have this conversation nowadays, because visits were in such a weird, he's in society. It is very fact the woody Allen took nude pick years of his step, daughter, sunni, lagging It's that so fucked up and by the way he was fifty seven. When that happened usually nineteen he was fit. These seven and married to me a pharaoh and then that started the divorce. I think what happened was. I am not mistaken. I think society look past what he did with with sue me, and I think that me made me a pharaoh, enraged that shirt

that she was I hold on. This was my daughter heap. He he was her step father and he factor and by the way, is to review shit after that moved in together, whatever senator college like a child. She would college, should college and the college and combat common phenomenon, that college and be like a kid? It was really fucking weird, but but then the pardon me goes. The only reason the accusations against Dylan furrow came out was because of a custody battle and a divorce and at an end, That's what Diane Keaton was saying is like you need to watch is sixty minutes article, because you know everyone's just I mean it was thought, but I don't know I mean I don't know it when you listen to what he outside your outside you're you like yeah

No, it's fucking gross. What ultimately, because of that one thing that is really kind of the the flagship driving where's cause deliver? No one believed deliver on this came out recently, no stone known still believe deliverer. She came up. said he molested me. No one still believed him laughing Rona vera was I fuck that that's my, sister that I think Ronan pharaoh believes it happens as well, and he was like I'm going after everyone woody is. The impetus of this would be to think now. People to work with them are forced to give their money that they got paid to the times up movement, but you, Yet not do that anymore. You think, he's you think you'll ever direct another round, I, what he's going be? Eighty now right da seaworld I think you will. I don't think you'll ever and no one will work with him. I mean, but but people Jim to work without you mean like it was like the movie kay

and that was like jazz, oh yeah. What's her name was in a bunch of movies with this year I say, as a movie came yeah, it's crane because it's something that's how I mean fuck, em and Michael Jackson, It's a cliche, but it's like everyone knew, and everyone turned that's. as what the whole movements about as I gave, we all fuckin, know somethin list. Acknowledging it and not. Someone's got talent, ok, so them wherever we draw the line with. That's like. I know some shit about some guys. Ethical call out. What am I supposed? I am I to feel you call and you feel they do it again. but I know I know I know some stuff about guys that It is all it's all its hearsay, I'm in its third hand it's not the woman MA am I the normal, an investigative journalist, nine, I'm just a guy. You heard some shit, so where's. My responsibility lay a vague dad. I mean that's not theirs.

Where is tricky? That's on you. I mean like, if you feel at some shit that this I would say don't know what you know, but if I was in your position I would say if you think it was some shit that they would do again and you think it's some creepy shit that capable of like on. If somebody doesn't say something they made this a game. I know, but but it's not like the, but also not get the facts yet like I dunno. If any of the fact that I don't have any facts, get here's the other thing, you know this crazy and I'm going to get off this subject. I feel like I've harped on this subject this month, like you, not I've, noticed in women. Everyone knows all women lie about this. Women lie about that women have so much to gain that. That's an idle note. Not at all you know it's happening guys are talking about other guys behind their backs. Go you know, he's array birthright and you and parties like hold on? Europe is already a more successful comic, continue and you're trying to take him down like us. Irony,

I want to say something about another comic and I was like I was like. I have no reason to believe that guy rapes, but I do believe that you don't like him because he sells more tickets than you and there's jealousy in that and it's a quick lob that a guy doesn't mind throwing up. I dunno man watch that guy. It's a quick lob, there's no real accusation. You're, not saying I dunno, I dunno! That's what I heard and you're, like I'm part of me, is like again they say someone really begs going down awry they say someone really big is going down and that's why there's been a wall that some one room, Really big is going down. I mean site, fuck Huda, like you, think about, because you think about it. Someone really big like bigger than bill, cosby I hope, you're right and as I, how much bigger how much bigger doesn't like. Is it ever we're about troms doing signed up again? I saw that philip. Would you go see him I would be interested to see what he had to say. I'm side up late, I've had it it's like. I do,

cause yeah. If, if like like well actually thing, I don't I don't I'm not going to not be human about this like if bill is fuckin bill. Cosby was on stage in the belly room. I'd fucking walk right up there to go see. I have to hear what the guy was fucking talking about one hundred percent, just to know where his head's at this special about the second post about it he's like yeah, you don't want to like there. There is nothing to be learned by completely ostracizing a person and not getting inside their fucking head man. You gotta like learn from like: where are they now? What are they thinking now? Are they remorseful? Are they? What are they fucking? Talking about like what, where are they only knowledge, the monster? It's not gonna rub off on you back in ages go fuck and experience it. And what about what about redemption? I mean like why I you know the charges against louis were fifteen years old. I think and that's when and how fifteen years ago I like,

It'll be a different story. If you like it happened a week ago, then you're like wow, he's an animal today like he's going through it, I mean I'm not defending louis. I obviously I would. I would ike louis boys, like louie, he's very who is very sweet to me, shot like what about redemption? You? Let people go to jail for murder, they come out, we go, you know what he's like he's he's figured it out. These four is right in his boat. You know like yeah, janine yeah heads It is a tricky dangles. You hear about some issues Did you know a guy? That's fucking, terrible, but then, like I know, and I'm not going to, I won't say names cause it's like it's it's there, but I oh comedians or female, who worked with them, have been like nothing like that. Like maybe you I know female. Can you let that doesn't excuse what did? But it's also like it did to your point like redemption like when Is it applied? When is it there and it's such it's a fuckin? It's not even a slope. It's a it's a double! If it's a slope, it's a black double black diamond and that's a tough slope. You know

it's bringing it back to our sky talker, but I just don't. I just want some goddamn credit for fuckin the car. back here during the middle circle of erecting a slippery slope, it's a double black diamond and that only the most professional steers and get down those slope that's what we all need to be as a society only to get better at skiing, or boarding solon manoeuvre the slopes. The is, however, I've on a double black diamond was in the aspen thought. You, To reverse metaphor, this was like the time I rule myself. I think there is a varied in college. I thought I was getting sexually assaulted and I was like I was I wake up in my pants were always at my ankles, and I was like a hold on, I was as it were. is going on. I go. Is someone coming into my room at night because, like I would wake but my passively Michael's at like for this was I come over the period of a month and I was Every time it happened, and then one night, if I I woke up in the middle of me doing it. What was happening was I training my parents, but my shoes wrong and so that

and so I always get down. Am I usually just go back to sleep? I thought like oh, I was resolving myself. You know how many times I would wake in college with like the same thing in and ankles are open poor magazine, canna, PAM guy, clearly fall asleep whack in it. dude yeah. This is why so many that, but by way yes PAM, I used pam use pam. That was me as a drunk Twenty role was like just one spray, your loomed up There are so many fucking time. I'd have just open pandora's box where, where my we're married, my my I've had numerous roommates have to be like hey. Do too the fucking pam in your bedroom. it was a cooking spray in your bedroom. Like sorry, sorry yeah, we do in secret time right now. Aren't we all in time. One time I saw an h b, o's sex therapist.

as she was saying you could masturbate with anything and one of the things she said was. thing. I used one time in an end. In a pinch, I wanted to jerk off, wanted some being opened the refrigerator and found which she had brought up, which was manner. If I did, I mean it's a natural, its natural then it was like. I am fucking starving. I smelled so good. You know like I m gonna fuckin burner surprise some try to suck their own dick. I tried to eat mine. I tried my own dec. I can't believe only time about that. I was like I was out of an obvious olive oil in the bass, never payment or no I've at the process of rapes queer to try it I remember well then home my mom,

One of my roman she's like why was why did you? Why is that? Why did you bring a cooking spray in your room and I blamed it on my leg desk chair, I was like oh to squeak and when it's I just lubed it up. She gave me this look of. Like that's a good answer. I know it's not why, but it will suffice, kind of thing it was like, but I don't think she even ever thought masturbating and think she thought. Maybe I was. Snorting lake and pam, or something which has no now there's. No. He can help claim that you can a lot that lot grown up. You have to go in the oh yeah, you grew up in florida. You'd rather tower huffing was invented, who put a towel around your hand and then you'd hit it and you inhale, and it was like a fucking whip it on steroids. The things we don't do that no one knew that. I just said that I don't know it's I regret it. I lay in bed, sometimes thinking what did I do to my brain, like what did I do where I was just for? I did a lot. I think

things invented in Tampa. Florida were huffing, but chugging special care, not the cereal anal chugs. There were a luxuriate fuckin thing. We didn't college guy I would go for those. You don't know how to do an anal chug. I think I I posted a video of it. One time online yeah, but you'd get up against the wall hands. And dick facing the wall told him they get handstand dick facing the wall so fast. Facing the wallet your across but dick facing the wall and then cup big cup best placed on small of his back, be in the asshole and it would run out of his asshole into off the smallest back into the cup and yet to do an anal chug. That was fuckin and it works once again, don't do it another, I regret that no fuckin close the dirtiest thing, Fuckin do Well, yeah, prove your brother prove

what it takes cod, may I really liked his boot camp idea. Can you sell this where your dad's funds you just don't ask him yeah. I I'm out. I think I did. It would be. Extremely. I could use of many boot camp three weeks we in great shape, yeah, and then we do. We do the show, and then we do a special where, where it's us talking about it's a it, would be f. First of all, you'd, have all these great personalities doing the ot to camera through? the entire thing you'd have funny stories throughout it you fucking great spearhead this I loved I get a little dominated while the idea of also the military version too. It's her eyes versions of all of our personalities like sudden we're all just really fuckin like like yours not drinking anymore, he's real adamant about you, love making beds. He loves you, love peel and potatoes.

Shine your shoes for you, I'm really into shiny shoes. Again arrested at ways No, I don't think I could do prison there. I don't I'll do that. The second reason is that some of these if things go, did we go jail? Force our seas in medical school, and I like the way this is a very sensible idea. I says it's a wrote: is it the same kind gas temp asked? I asked we named them there. People fighting to get in on it. What do I think We should go with what our gut instinct was yeah and just see how many seasons of shit? We don't want to do, but no would be good for us. It was right for us, you know yeah, one sees of war, the peace corps right, season five the homosexual season related, each other, but we all have to like date, the guy do than sector dexterity is very just keep going We know these things will be good garbage. Basically, what we're doing is we re making shitty movies

in the vibe we all get pregnant, yeah, kindergarten, cop or whatnot kindergarten cupboards were arnold. Schwarzenegger got pregnant is not kind. I thought I was kindergarten cop, two! No! No! It's the it's! The identity of Dave yeah season. Five we go under cover season, I am dram jump. Really? Oh space? download the delayed by the way. I know two brothers, the moon and have that have access to the first citizen space launch, and that had reached out to me. What shall I do? The duffy's, the about? space they were. They have access to shoot the first base maud. How great would be the fuckin ten of us going to spend think you have to go to some sick. psychological evaluation. Do not let you do together. Is that you do. I think it s. Well, that's government funded programmes were privately.

do you can just I mean. I would argue now get me a phrase that I think I would want to go. There are definite watson. I oh, if I get my gravity, react I would like to watch some people go through. It make sure that all wherewith go through that. That's just like my gun, whose again Is there like an exec? We can just call it comedy central. None of us are comics that company central would ever values try caught showtime, maybe man, just pull on line now even sailor. You Oh yoda, come fully yeah we netflix would do it. I'm ever hulu amazon I mean all I know is going to make the idea of going to spaces as wide it fucks with my head is because now you've been to space now, you've left the planet

so now you have this constant knowledge from memory that there is more to life than what we experience on this earth. If you got the offer go to space, when I do it, we are absolutely knowing the risk. knowing the risks, but samantha is me. No pleasure. Has your manager, and are you that is not allowed, is not on, but I mean a realise: what what are your you'd be the only one with a bit the cities landed. Might right he's got back from space poor, my arms, tired from from the realisation that we're all one energetic it's just the lack of my muscular development. While I was in space, they're, tired as shit boy are my arms, tired from opening all the goddamn things, the ice cream frozen that dehydrated ice cream. As dipping dots know, they give you the that universal spaceboat. They give you the space it it's like an innocent dehydrated, even sponge, for real

my arms died from the atrophy from being in zero gravity. For someone you see, there was the movie where the member nuts about the b, Brain blocking sandra sandra bullock, censurable. I love, and I too, of gravity would Samantha being equally great. ray movie. Or that movie, I'm telling you I'm going to sell it. I'm going to call my agent I'm going to text my agents now I would go to space and come back just We saw a bouquet, I will go to build. Our decision are a bookshop asked. I became so blue camp. There and we ve got a we ve gotta do we ve got it like a stripes is visible, were making stripes, but just indifferent, nor tripes ever bring pass and that's the thing as a team, here's the ready for the real gig. Now guy favoured nations three weeks each of us get

the sea were we as S. Age must get a hundred thousand dollars, but we the two hundred thousand dollars. If we all do that, we all pass bouquet mother fucker, for I know it and that's when blades aid comes- and you know who this is we gotta. Do it, because what, if excuse me by the way she just straight up, fucking right in someone's ears apart me, I just straight up fucking a truck driver. Does everyone is eliciting you to burped like it's, obviously the lie they their jobs. The guy that makes up behind you and your ear apologise on how to do this. One up. That's uneasiness, Christ. If anyone just swerved off the road, I'm really sorry but take a picture. Fender benders ended to bert

will raise money to pay for it. Through this project we will be going to the movies instead of series. We just do doc. You films, each wanted documentary wherever there too Can that be easier to sell? I would talk about specific. Now there was a to documentaries. I wouldn t mind? Oh my good documentaries, all gotta be real. What can we make? Our document can fund documentary and one billion every year because everyone I have to do this shit for twenty eight weeks. You know it's like three weeks from it. Three weeks or three weeks cut into a two hour documentary. It's like jackass, we are going to god damn sundance with this shit for his work. In southwest at least maybe or maybe telluride. Now I'm just like going through all the film verse we ve got the best comics, for it did everything. Page. Yet, let's do especially you do drugs now call there that's part of the gigs. You know we were speaking to japan will sleep. in a biologist one day and then when they find the whisky on us world, grownups flexible in when it finally like a garage

is that ice cream on your uniform overhauls areas are dropping, gave me to tell get me to fuck. Do you realize, oh how great it would be? So fucking funny Oh I'm gonna send an email. Today do it I mean I'm in and saw the other tat evening. I think what you I wouldn't we name. We are barghouti list norman me, you are, Tommy, big J. home, sweet home can get paid to commit We don't want more, but I can't remember: guy branum not having an eye on additives. Buyer we need a black guy. kind of criteria. Are we making ninety ninety seven dvd hunches the other night you're talkin about by and would do it? It's funny that, like the baha I like iron, maiden t shirt, Sir

I you see a lot of like young black guys walking around wearing that and I'm like. Do you listen to iron maiden or two? I remember the first time I saw black ice skateboarding and I was like what like shot like that. We're really move forward with jane misfits shirt at the store the other night, and I was like you like the misfits and he goes no. I, like the sequence cause it was like secret, yeah I was a really interesting. Did you ever hear historic? Did he do? Did you do this? happening this year. Think so you you were. Therefore I don't remember I did, and he did he told a story about his dabbling addicted to drugs. That was fucking mind going like mine, and I was I well. I think that was a story here. certain it was either his or chris red, Chris reds really tell it to you. yeah. That's it. It's kind interesting. How what tagged toward tat show brings out of people? It's fuckin

Something has changed the way I do stand. Yeah brings it, but people it's like some people. Were you god never comfortable. Talking about personally, and they get that opportunity again. That's what's up its of tell them. She sawyer rogan changed the way to stand up for ever, because I did that and then once did. Then I started working on restoring the once. I worked on a string got a good. I want. Why could do a story quicker now? I could figure out the I forgot the way to a story, little quicker and then do that show. I just started naturally, like like going like, and it was like there were coming out of me and then we do the last season because they fired aryan tom, and I would like all with on the region. We're doing us for our air would rather have these stories for our specials so. I didn't do it. Last measurable, my closing stories allows you to do, for this is not happening. I mean I just learn that my story.

This past season isn't coming out two thousand and nineteen. Why? Because they that's what comes entrails doing that you they split. but the two of us too to has so I I've got another year, words like maybe I'll do those die again, maybe it'll, be the fresh mouse about, but either way down it's okay to do this show what we should probably wrap. This up, I represent kids guided by say this has been my head, the whole time like his daughters It is in their running around other doing homework, yet love that now nowhere I saw weapons so you're going back to when you go back to new york, go about new york on Saturday. What shorty? What are you, what you do on the road and coming up? Have you go guide my website. It me on patton dotcom com, John battened I come recently, a wider seeber with that mission patent me jean Van. I shant ban, love that aunt one andrei patent on there is being badly.

February. Am I mean if you're what does come up? I think of it release it today? Oh, why today february, first at the irvine improv, just one night, headlining show nice, that's thursday, it tastes tuesday. So it's that stairs If you hear that, then come check that out, but yeah I'm all over in february and beyond, and then he are you you're back in new york about I'll, be I'll beads voting time on here, I'm on the road a lot and then yeah might headquarters is new york do have an end date to the shrinking thing. Don't I don't I I don't. I haven't, put a stamp it's hard to start drinking and thus the hardest thing to do once used. top during a verona wells? It's really. To start up again yeah from what I've heard I mean. Did people girlies, ay, ay meetings urges like man, it's

I know I should start drinking again, but I just don't want to yeah yeah. Maybe I'm wrong about that. It's for me. It's hard to start. You should rephrase that that ignite have a hard time starting up again. The hard part is quitting right now, there's a guy in a seven eleven sweat bullets with a fuckin they out like the beer coup or door open just trying to talk himself out a fucking miller highlife. I have a really hard time, starting up in its once. I stopped a book on this for even like three days that first drink it makes me depressed ago, like I should be doing this. I felt so good like him, then this past week. I was really good because I drink all week no on the road in drink on the flight, got to this got high and it had one drink like a single vote on them, and woke up the next went snowboarding and went. Oh, that's how you should be doing it. Yeah allow yourself to have a drink and loosen up and just get ready to go to bed

now then the next night same same and then and then the last night. Your programme bottle locked on. The rocks is a little aggressive, but that happen one show sunday with fuck yeah yeah yeah if you're going to take away your ammo going to one show. That means I've got another. Forty five minutes to spare your that I'm not stage. I might as well get shit facts as light as one of the metropolis extorted rigging during the machine story, and then the machines or less than forty four minutes. So These credits kept me entering into other bits and an in depth, and then you like That's a good idea. Let me do that and then and then you like forty four minutes in the islands like us two and a half hours of it- we're we're fuckin waste it is an hour of forty four minutes of a show and airlines and they aircars to air conditioning turns off at a certain time and ruins like by air conway your cock and are used, and are you british airways lying here, so you lie or they're gone in the uk, icon, overruled,

some of that sum intended to act on. Please comment on what is a seat? I say, and I see that you say, would you say the words at sea ye anti she met. Why it lies in it I say men, cement, seem it are you have you been brinish this whole time now apart, I fucking god. Damn car ferries agent, concretely pacing three concrete country concrete. Well, it's not on concrete, concrete, concrete, concrete, concrete!

I call it concrete. I do yeah yeah shaun, I'm so glad you did this for a long time. I fucking love. Let's do it again and keep up the not drinking thing man. It was one of the hottest months. I've ever had not boozing and then, when you start up again, let me know if you want to get drunk with an absolutely and then we're definitely going to do this. Fucking strike strike pilot night awesome rather than thing the this episode

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